It's that time of year again. Schoolkids become adults as they move out and go to Uni. It's good to have a checklist:- Program new iphone with every fast food delivery restaurant within 5 miles of digs - CHECK Obtain train timetable so I can come home every single weekend - CHECK Join Labour party - CHECK Mummy to slip packet of condoms into my luggage "without my knowledge" - CHECK (BUT WHY ON EARTH ARE THEY FRUIT FLAVOURED?) Daddy to get me a credit card "just in case" - CHECK Locate nearest war memorial so I can swamp on it while pi$$ed during fresher's week - CHECK Yes folks, another University town. Another fresher's week pi$$ up organised by Carnage UK (remember them from last year's outrage in Sheffield?). Another war memorial used as a toilet. Student pictured urinating on city cenotaph subject of police investigation - Telegraph Am I being naive or could this problem be cured very simply by a Judge uttering the phrase "You will go to prison for five years"?