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Sh1tfaced student in python syphon shocker

#1
It's that time of year again. Schoolkids become adults as they move out and go to Uni. It's good to have a checklist:-

Program new iphone with every fast food delivery restaurant within 5 miles of digs - CHECK

Obtain train timetable so I can come home every single weekend - CHECK

Join Labour party - CHECK

Mummy to slip packet of condoms into my luggage "without my knowledge" - CHECK (BUT WHY ON EARTH ARE THEY FRUIT FLAVOURED?)

Daddy to get me a credit card "just in case" - CHECK

Locate nearest war memorial so I can swamp on it while pi$$ed during fresher's week - CHECK

Yes folks, another University town. Another fresher's week pi$$ up organised by Carnage UK (remember them from last year's outrage in Sheffield?). Another war memorial used as a toilet.

Student pictured urinating on city cenotaph subject of police investigation - Telegraph

Am I being naive or could this problem be cured very simply by a Judge uttering the phrase "You will go to prison for five years"?
 
#2
Am I being naive or could this problem be cured very simply by a Judge uttering the phrase "You will go to prison for five years"?[/QUOTE]

Sorry to say this, but the answer's probably "yes" on both counts. It's yuman rites innit!?
 
#3
The Universities concerned would be quite within their rights to expel students for bringing them into disrepute.

Assuming it's Southampton University, their Student Discipline Regulations say:

As members of the University community, all students are expected to conduct themselves with due regard for its good name and reputation. They are required to comply with the University's Regulations at all times.
Unfortunately, in reality it's almost impossible to actually exclude a student unless they're convicted of a criminal offence which carries a jail term.
 
#4
We may not have weed on a memorial,but come along chaps,admit it,we certainly were not saints,we are just older and a little miffed we can't do it anymore like we used to!
 
#8
Maybe the answer is to start issuing fines to Carnage UK?
Or make them responsible for the cost of adequately policing their "events". Football clubs have to pay for extra policing on match days, why not this lot.

Can there be any truth in the rumour, started by me, that the RBL (REME Division) are wiring up war memorials to the mains?
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#9
No matter how pissed i've been i've never pissed on a war memorial. The parents need to get a grip and instill some discipline but unfortunately Labour banned that.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#11
No matter how pissed i've been i've never pissed on a war memorial. The parents need to get a grip and instill some discipline but unfortunately Labour banned that.
Fuck me. I've been so pissed I have probabally pissed upon a stuffed wombat in the British Museum. I dont know. I was pissed.

Unless something has escaped me (I was maybe pissed?) this is the whole point of being pissed?

The odd pissed up kid pisses upon a war memorial? It'll wash off in the next rain and, I dare to suggest, that the Glorious Dead might just snigger. Particularly if they were WW1 working class victims looking down on a badly dressed kid who's worse crime as going for the Trebs For A Quid on his first night away from Mummy and Daddy.

The guys with their name on the memorial might have had worse experiences than getting pissed and making an arse of yourself.

Theres badder things to get up about in my view.

Worse things happen at sea, after all.
 
#12
Fuck me. I've been so pissed I have probabally pissed upon a stuffed wombat in the British Museum. I dont know. I was pissed.

Unless something has escaped me (I was maybe pissed?) this is the whole point of being pissed?

The odd pissed up kid pisses upon a war memorial? It'll wash off in the next rain and, I dare to suggest, that the Glorious Dead might just snigger. Particularly if they were WW1 working class victims looking down on a badly dressed kid who's worse crime as going for the Trebs For A Quid on his first night away from Mummy and Daddy.

The guys with their name on the memorial might have had worse experiences than getting pissed and making an arse of yourself.

Theres badder things to get up about in my view.

Worse things happen at sea, after all.
You mean people WEE in the sea??.... no...f ucking....way... I feel sick.
 
#17
A_M, I commend you on your casually authoritative use of alliteration and assonance in the thread title. How many of these callow Yoofs would have noticed that? Eh?

Fucking none of them, the dozy cunts.

'Students' my reeking arse.
 
#18
A_M, I commend you on your casually authoritative use of alliteration and assonance in the thread title. How many of these callow Yoofs would have noticed that? Eh?

Fucking none of them, the dozy cunts.

'Students' my reeking arse.
Thanks. I'm hoping for a gig writing headlines for The Sun. I even had to look up the meaning of "assonance" so I would seem to be well qualified to be a Sun journo. Have to admit though, I've got some way to go before I reach the standards of excellence achieved by Sun journos in the 1980s, when the Church of England faced intense criticism over its support for homosexual clergy. "Pulpit Poofs Here to Stay" says it all really.

While it is possible that worse things happen at sea, I never experienced them, although a pi$$ed matelot indulging in a bit of "power shower" vomiting and getting puke on every other matelot and item of kit in his mess comes close.

Hopefully, if the scrote who did this gets caught, the local RBL will provide a "guard of dishonour" at court, as was provided for Wendy Lewis when she was prosecuted for pi$$ing on Blackpool Cenotaph then giving a guy a blow job. As pi$$ing on war memorials seems to be becoming our national sport, perhaps the old boys of the RBL would whip out their todgers and, prostates permitting, pi$$ on the peripatetic perpetrator of this perverted performance.
 
#19
Or make them responsible for the cost of adequately policing their "events". Football clubs have to pay for extra policing on match days, why not this lot.

Can there be any truth in the rumour, started by me, that the RBL (REME Division) are wiring up war memorials to the mains?
They should be pretty safe then.
 

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