Sh!t jobs with cracking pay

#1
Sinking a few wets in the boozer last night and some rude cnut kept shouting out answers to the questions on the quiz machine I was playing. (On a side note, he was right every time so I was quids in :lol: )

Anyway, assuming he was some uber-brainbox working in some high profile executive job, I asked him what he does to pay the bills. Shocked was I when he said he fits roofs onto supermarkets. Doesn't design them, build them, engineer them in anyway, just nails the fcukers on. He moaned about working in sh!t weather, 20 hour shifts, and doing the odd stint in France. Fairly fcuking crap for a civvy job I thought. 'Specially seen as how he was missing 3 fingers due to "industrial accidents".

Until I noticed his sparkly breitling dangling from his wrist, and the fact that when outside having a smoke, I witnessed him leaving in his brand new convertable 6-series beemer (like a true show-off cnut, he had the lid off. It was only -2c).

Not a bad reward for tw-atting a few rivets into corrugated iron. Might make a few enquiries one day. But what other sh!t jobs with top notch moolar are available to the common man?
 
#3
Friend of mine got out to be a thatcher ( no not the political type) the roofing type. He's rolling in it as there are only about 10 qualified in the UK. He does all the national trusts buildings and has an order book for the next 4 years.

Also dry stone walling. Farmers are screaming out for them at mo.
 
#4
Credit rating - only three companies are recognised in doing it, and they're sh!t.
 
#5
Secretary of State for Defence.
No experience or expertise required.
 
#6
northernrogue said:
Sinking a few wets in the boozer last night and some rude cnut kept shouting out answers to the questions on the quiz machine I was playing. (On a side note, he was right every time so I was quids in :lol: )

Anyway, assuming he was some uber-brainbox working in some high profile executive job, I asked him what he does to pay the bills. Shocked was I when he said he fits roofs onto supermarkets. Doesn't design them, build them, engineer them in anyway, just nails the fcukers on. He moaned about working in sh!t weather, 20 hour shifts, and doing the odd stint in France. Fairly fcuking crap for a civvy job I thought. 'Specially seen as how he was missing 3 fingers due to "industrial accidents".

Until I noticed his sparkly breitling dangling from his wrist, and the fact that when outside having a smoke, I witnessed him leaving in his brand new convertable 6-series beemer (like a true show-off cnut, he had the lid off. It was only -2c).

Not a bad reward for tw-atting a few rivets into corrugated iron. Might make a few enquiries one day. But what other sh!t jobs with top notch moolar are available to the common man?
Do think that perhaps the job doesn't pay that well, but maybe he bought the Breitling and Beemer with payout for his fingers? Just a thought....but to be honest, I'd rather keep all my digits and drive around in a Honda.
 
#7
Had a mate once who always wanted a Harley. So he slammed the lid of a metal tool case shut on his little finger. Chopped his finger clean off and claimed on his insurance as an accident. Harley is nice though.
 
#8
door-to-door salesman.
out in all weather, getting dozens of doors a day slammed in their faces, people being rude....
banking 4 grand a month.
 
#9
When I had to leave the army a few years ago my first job was as a management consultant. I worked for a company specialising in advice to utilities companies. Brought home shitloads of cash for stupid work with long comutes and crazy hours.

Am now re-enlisting for less than half the pay but loads more fun and fulfillment!
 
#11
tired_chimp said:
door-to-door salesman.
out in all weather, getting dozens of doors a day slammed in their faces, people being rude....
banking 4 grand a month.
What the feck's he selling? Cocaine?

Based on this morning's experience, photocopier repairman. Strip the damn thing to pieces to repair one function, then piss off for three hours leaving it unusable for any of the others, only to return and magically fix it in a half hour before taking a POETS day.
 
#12
Cable recovery filthy minging job covered in 50year old + grease,hessian soaked in bitumen, and mud plus out in all weathers. Gang foreman on 46 quid a tonne with a bonus of £1500 if they haul out 80 tonnes a month yup they can make 4-5k a month even the cable hands/labourers
 
#13
Ex-Forces mate of mine works for a multi-national computer company. He has to go into certain institutions to check their computer systems. The information download takes about 8 mins max.
Company tell him to take a book/paper etc as he needs to be on site all day as they charge £7,000 for the service. He says it's the most boring job he's ever done but the pay is £55k a year, plus bonuses, to stop him blabbing. He does 5 calls a week and is one of 10 in his team. I asked him to get me a job but he tells me it's dead man's shoes. I wonder why.
 
#14
Selling drugs to school kids, its murder when the weather is cold and wet having to hang around outside the school gates three times a day.

However, if you get a good patch outside an inner city comprehensive you can be sat in the pub by 4pm with up to £500 lining your pockets.

The holidays are great too, you get about 12 weeks off a year.

Easy money! :wink:
 
#15
scouse_scribes said:
Document controller, boring mundane admin type work but I've got an interview next week for a DC job paying £27 per hour

Happy Days
Spot on brass as a DC, just got myself a cushy little number, in Leeds, with all the overtme I can handle

Fred
 

Alsacien

LE
Moderator
#16
Project Manager for Business Process Management projects - dull as fck way to clear 6 figures while spending most of your time in airport business class lounges surfing on arrse...
 
#17
Infiltrator said:
northernrogue said:
Sinking a few wets in the boozer last night and some rude cnut kept shouting out answers to the questions on the quiz machine I was playing. (On a side note, he was right every time so I was quids in :lol: )

Anyway, assuming he was some uber-brainbox working in some high profile executive job, I asked him what he does to pay the bills. Shocked was I when he said he fits roofs onto supermarkets. Doesn't design them, build them, engineer them in anyway, just nails the fcukers on. He moaned about working in sh!t weather, 20 hour shifts, and doing the odd stint in France. Fairly fcuking crap for a civvy job I thought. 'Specially seen as how he was missing 3 fingers due to "industrial accidents".

Until I noticed his sparkly breitling dangling from his wrist, and the fact that when outside having a smoke, I witnessed him leaving in his brand new convertable 6-series beemer (like a true show-off cnut, he had the lid off. It was only -2c).

Not a bad reward for tw-atting a few rivets into corrugated iron. Might make a few enquiries one day. But what other sh!t jobs with top notch moolar are available to the common man?
Do think that perhaps the job doesn't pay that well, but maybe he bought the Breitling and Beemer with payout for his fingers? Just a thought....but to be honest, I'd rather keep all my digits and drive around in a Honda.
Don't know about that. My father in law has a roofing firm,nice house all paid for, big garage of classic cars lots of flash cash etc... Mind you, his body is completely F*&"ed and he probably won't live past 65!!
 
#18
One of the family is in the flooring trade (he's a carpet fitter) also makes a huge wodge of cash each month.
Don't know exactly how much but he once let slip that he had 20k in the bank to pay the taxman with that year.
Not sure if that was a bribe or just his normal VAT/Income tax :)

As above though he is also physically wrecked but he is as strong as an ox (carpets are fcuking heavy).
 
#19
Never mind playing soldiers, carpet fitting truly fcuks your knees up good and proper. Neighbour of mine years ago was a fitter 10 years, couldn't run properly by the time he was 30.

Made it easier for us to cadge his milk and newspaper though :lol:
 
#20
I used to be a chugger, basically being abused by the general public day in day out. Was on an absolute fortune though with a basic of £540(I Was a supervisor and driver as well) a week which could go up to a grand after bonuses. Also included free accomodation and company car.
 

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