Sh*t Christmas

#1
Being here in the sandpit we are facing a pretty sh1t christmas.

Can anyone please give us some cheer and let us know if you are going to be worse off than being over here.

Any historical stories about having a cr*p Xmas will be most welcome to raise a laugh.

To set the very low standard, we have a normal working day (just like every other saturday :( ) we have lunch as per normal, we have the prospect of the telephones crashing due to excess demand (another common problem) and there are still an awful lot of days before end of tour. :cry:

Can anyone cheer us sandpit residents up with some tales of Xmas woe and misery???????
 
#2
I would not like to be in your unit right now. Get a grip man. Christmas is as good as you want it to be when deployed. It is accepted that you can't nip out to the pub or that you aren't with your family and friends but that doesn't mean that's an end to it.


Stop f*cking whingeing and sort yourself out.
 
#3
Look on the bright side. You might be having a shoite xmas but your missus is having a cracking time! There's so much c*ck being thrown around by your rear party that she doesn't know where to put it all.

She's got c*ck in her hand, c*ck in her mouth, c*ck in her arrse and 2 Fijians touching her womb!

Merry Christmas :D
 
#4
Thanks for missing the point gents - we have certain functions to fulfil over here which will sort of disable any chance of planning celebrations.

There is no whinge and we have all lost an Xmas or two in the past in the name of Queen and Country. The thread is to hear tales of woe, not to hear self-righteous bleats about what we should or should not do over here.

DB - I would be delighted if all of your c*ck placements are happening to the wife, especially because she became an ex-wife a while ago. LOL
 
#6
Kicking in the back doors of your wife?????????????????
 
#8
Yawn.

Oracle - if you cannot get into the spirit intended in the thread why bother posting?

From my perspective, us serving out here are not in search of any sympathy - rather a bit of humour. If you have a good dit then please share it.

Is THAT too much to ask?

If you are having difficulty understanding this then keep chucking abuse if it keeps you happy.

All the best.

BB
 
#9
Well I am stuck at bloody work, but my boss being the boozer he is, has supplied us with some champagne and smoked salmon! So not all bad and none of us are actually expected to work!

KWhy not start digging yourselves a tunnel through that sand and you may get home for Xmas....next year :)
 
#11
Oracle - Have a good one.

Happy Xmas from Baghdad.

BB

:wink:
 
#12
Well mate you are not the only one who will be having a crap xmas. I for one will be joining you. Sat on a pipelaying vessel in the Med off Egypt. 12 hours on shift, 7 till 7. No sun bathing as It's not hot enough and I'm on shift. Sat in the radio room for 12 hours doing bugger all but read e-mails and ARRSE. No drink allowed on board, a phillipino chef who couldn't cook a xmas roast if his life depended on it, no UK telly for the old films, one 5 min call on the sat phone if I can get through and all I can see is the chuffin sea!!! 34 more days to go till home time and xmas will be a distant memory with everone by the time I get back. Only saving grace is the money is good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :evil: :evil: Oh and not a woman in site!!!!
 
#14
BB - have a GREAT Christmas. There are people back home who appreciate what all you lads are doing out there. Keep your chin up and enjoy it as best you can. I'll raise my glass to you on Christmas Day at noon .... and send lots of lovely Christmassy wishes your way.

:wink:
 
#16
Door_Bundle_Mk2 said:
Look on the bright side. You might be having a shoite xmas but your missus is having a cracking time! There's so much c*ck being thrown around by your rear party that she doesn't know where to put it all.

She's got c*ck in her hand, c*ck in her mouth, c*ck in her arrse and 2 Fijians touching her womb!

Merry Christmas :D
Ere Door Bundle, you ever thought about social work when you come out? :D
 
#17
I am working too but going to play Wolfenstien 3D all the time so Wahooo!

havent got any xmassy tales except xmas 95 sat in the line sgts pad playing trivial pursuit for dares...some tech called Mac (who was irish), kept getting them wrong and obviously we were all winkerd, he had to go put one of taff b******'s wifes negliges on, funny as heck, stood there in this silk thingy with his meat and two veg hanging either side of the gusset pissed as a fart complaining it was riding in the crack of his arrse....

Stag on!

Rincewind
 
#18
Henry_Tombs said:
Door_Bundle_Mk2 said:
Look on the bright side. You might be having a shoite xmas but your missus is having a cracking time! There's so much c*ck being thrown around by your rear party that she doesn't know where to put it all.

She's got c*ck in her hand, c*ck in her mouth, c*ck in her arrse and 2 Fijians touching her womb!

Merry Christmas :D
Ere Door Bundle, you ever thought about social work when you come out? :D
Yes I have funnily enough.......................with ethnic minorities.
 
#19
Christmas 1991.

The start of the day found me 400' below the surface in the Gulf of Alaska, speed: 4 knots and a perpetual left hand turn. The end of the day found me 400' below the surface in the Gulf of Alaska, speed: 4 knots and a perpetual right hand turn.
 
#20
Christmas '92 in responce to Intel that all Mil Hospitals were under imiment attack from the IRA, yours truely was ordered to "look after" DKMH in catterick... minus 5 and snowing, some knobber rupert demanding a salute.....

to which i replied "sir, not a problem but first i must explain to you the percieved threat, we are under alert from snipers waiting to shoot officers so before i can salute you can we move so i can place myself behind that wall of sand filled grenade boxes, upon which i will salute you thus identifying you to any snipers and then my fist aid kit which is in the guard box will be needed and i can get busy fixing you"....

he replied " very good, carry on"

funny after that he used the "other gate"

Xmas is what you make of it....have fun and live every day like its your last.....

Rincewind.
 
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