Sh@gging Freaks

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by IdleAdjt, Aug 8, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Whilst on a particularly long drive over the weekend, I started thinking about some of the less beautiful young ladies I have had the pleasure of knowing furing my time. When I say, less beautiful, I am not talking about the fat, ugly or plain repulsive hounds that, i am sure, we have all had drunken knowledge of. What I was thinking was the crippled, disfigured and freaky.

    Now, I can think of two particular examples of my own.

    Firstly, there was the dental nurse I had whilst on holiday in Greece. She was a good looking little thing with a nice character but she also had a crooked spine. When wearing clothes, you could hardly notice it. However, when in the nip, it was pretty bloody obvious, not least due to the extensive scarring on her back where she had been operated on by what must have been a p1ssed butcher.

    Secondly, was a girl with a sunken chest. Again, a nice girl, who incidently shaved her lady bits which is always a bonus. She was normal in all respects except between her breasts was a fecking huge yawning chasm where her breast bone should have been. Made her t1ts look huge when staring down her cleavage but all a bit strange when braless.

    Now I know that neither of these two freaks are excessively freakish but I am sure that there are many gentlemen on this site who will top my freaks with some real wonders of modern medicine. Rumour has it that in one of the garrison towns in Germany there is a whore house with a Downs woman who does it for 10 Euros. That for instance would beat either of mine in an instant.

    Come on Chaps. Consider this a game of Freak trumps. Who can beat my hand?
     
  2. Whilst at University I purposely targeted a girl with a deformed hand (about one proper finger, a mini-thumb and a bit of another finger). The bonus was that she had enormous chebs and her face wasn't entirely objectionable. Anyway, needless to say we got to down to it, whereby I enquired as to the possibility of a hand job. She politely offered her left (intact) hand to which I declared that I would embrace her disability and suggested the right. There then ensued the most entertaining effort imaginable. I had to seriously try not to piss myself during the event, let alone afterwards. I made a stealthy exit first thing, safe in the knowledge that I had secured my metal wings.

    I know I am a sick individual and that I am going to hell, but I do honestly think the Down's bird is taking the pi$$ a bit, even for me. Where did you say that whore house was...
     
  3. 'A lad in my old squadron' boned a tramp that he pulled outside Hildesheim Bahnhof. Apparently her legs looked like leopard print from where the dirt had got to her skin through the holes in her tights. He offered her money for the shag and legged off without paying her once he had expended his man milk...
    Another one shagged a pensioner (over 70) Whilst her even older husband was asleep upstairs...
     
  4. ONCE UPON A TIME....
     
  5. I think you'll find you can be arrested for things like that. If you can't well, you should!
     
  6. I once shagged a pensioner in a hot tub once (she was over 60), but I swear I didn’t know here real age, I was convinced she was about late 30s.
    She had extensive plastic surgery, the only real way you could get an idea of her true age was to look at her wrinkly granny hands.

    It was my cousins weeding and he’s rented a Spanish villa for the party which had a hot tub.
    We’d all had a bit to drink and this woman decided to go skinny dipping. When I saw a fairly attractive woman skinny dipping in the hot tub I thought “why the hell not” and I decided to join her, as did 5 other guys.
    She serviced us all and then one by one they all eventually got bored, leaving me alone to have my wicked way with her.
    It wasn’t till the next day that I was told, by someone who knew her, what her real age was.
    I felt physically ill after that.

    Still it’s amazing what plastic surgery can do for a woman.
     
  7. When I was 14 I used to walk down an ally on my way to school. I past a ginger girl who had some thing called dyspraxia, and was slighty downes. After a few weeks of passing her every morning I plucked up the courage and asked her for a shag (I was a horny school boy). Well at first she would not play, but after some convincing she eventually said ok and laid down the ally and pulled her knickers down, I did the dead and carried on to school. I must have shagged 'ginger pubes' for almost 6 months every morning before school until they moved her to a special school. :(
     
  8. tsk ! you are all going to hell :D
     
  9. Jackanory comes to mind on this one
     
  10. no canteen cowboy RAPE comes to mind on this one , if she was not of sound mind..and under age !
     
  11. I swear to it, I grew up in Gillingham in kent. The Ally was off Duncan road. Her name was Kirtsy and she went to Upbury Mannor.
    We got caught in the ally by some bloke mending his fence.

    If I wanted to make stuff up I could have sunk much much lower!!

    She was 2 years older than me too! So she was raping me (legaly)
     
  12. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Banged a deaf girl once while in Canada. She could lip read so you just had to be looking at her when talking. She spoke in that mlar like way that deaf people do. Not sure if I would class her as a feak as such as she was very intelligent and hot as hell. Damn good shag too.
     
  13. J_D

    J_D LE

    2 pumps and a squirt job was it?
     
  14. I see your lass with the sunken chest, and I raise you one obese Canadian bakeress with extensive 2nd degree burn scars. :D
     
  15. Her name wasn't Lesley was it? My sister was at uni with a girl who had an inverted sternum. To add to the freakyness, she was also a gwa! 8O