Shït kit trialled by the military

Oyibo

LE
To avoid an interesting sub-thread on a less interesting Brexit forum I thought I would post this here:

@Lifeboat21 and I mentioned trial tents and accessories with 2d ANGLICO (Useless: The tens that is). It reminded me of two peculiarly British versions of trial kit (1990s):

  • Bob Gore (he of Gore-Tex, not the 'Democrat') visited the Pathfinder Platoon to ask about practical applications for Gore-Tex. Straight-faced they told him that Gore-Tex Y-Fronts were a priority to avoid frost nip of the extremities. Rather sadly he believed them and they became collectors items.
  • Some rather bizarre pouches, almost the size of squeezed elongated respirator pouches, that clipped onto the front straps of '58 webbing (trial courtesy of 'H'). Laughable. Impossible to lie down prone, and impossible to get anything out if one was.
  • Holographic NVGs. Great idea, hopelessly impractical. Trialled them for covert night driving in NI (i.e. unmarked cars) - they were effing huge. No way to hide them if one got stopped in an illegal VCP. And they didn't work well for night driving either.
 
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Truxx

LE
I ran a vehicle trials unit, but we got fit up for all sorts of shite from the Good Ideas Club. We used to do proper trials, ie give whatever it was to proper people in ordinary units then get the feedback as to what they thought of it. This we would then test against the "user requirement".

The first attempt at producing ration packs without tins got mixed reviews. Obviously plastic bags were seen as the way forwards (this was pre foil bags)

After a lengthy trial the responses came back, the troops had spoken.

Out of about 100 questionnaires that went out we only got a few back, and only one of those had words on it.

Scrawled across the questions was

"Nice scof (sic) but if the bag breaks yer fooked"
 

Themanwho

LE
Book Reviewer
Goretex booties issued with the original trials Combat Assault Boots. The boots were awesome, but the goretex semi-rigid socks caused blisters and trench foot.
 
The desert assault vest with miles of MOLLE straps and a million pouches. It wasn't even trails, this turkey got issued to bewildered squaddies off to Afghanistan on H9(?) onwards until someone wised up and canned it.

There was even a helmet pouch, a net as big as daysack, you could attach to it for storing your battle bowler, while wearing osprey and vest, in style. One of the guys actually tried it and it was like carrying a bowling ball and I realised that this is what happens when we get asked what we want and lo! it is done without a grown up asking, "What the fcuk? Nope!"

The kicker was the clips, black plastic, similar to the PLCE ones but forked with dimples on the outside to lock in so an unreformed cnut to open, unless in contact where the adrenaline helped, and closing was a 2 man job.

1569448015929.png
 

Chef

LE
Back in the 70s the cadets trialled kagoul style anoraks (so I was told) They were rubbish.
 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Reheatable hand warmer. A wee felt green tin thing that you set fire to and it stored the heat or some such shite. Issued H11, never used because dog shit.

Infantry Command Tracker or whatever the **** it was called. Old Nokia phones in biege tough cases that tracked each man in the squad and related it to a handset with the Section Commander..Lots of money wasted, never used as shit.

ComBAT. Never used on operations by us because dog shit. Waste of meeeeellions if you ask me!

GTX socks because hello trench foot.

List goes on!
 

W21A

LE
Book Reviewer
Back in the 70s the cadets trialled kagoul style anoraks (so I was told) They were rubbish.
It wasn't a trial. They were issue. It was what we had and we used it.
 

WhiskeyTango

Old-Salt
Got to disagree with the goretex socks. The current issue ones are great for harbour routine and you can buy ones that are suitable for tabbing in, provided the outside temperature is in NFCI range.
 

Rod924

LE
Kit Reviewer
Reheatable hand warmer. A wee felt green tin thing that you set fire to and it stored the heat or some such shite. Issued H11, never used because dog shit.

Infantry Command Tracker or whatever the **** it was called. Old Nokia phones in biege tough cases that tracked each man in the squad and related it to a handset with the Section Commander..Lots of money wasted, never used as shit.

ComBAT. Never used on operations by us because dog shit. Waste of meeeeellions if you ask me!

GTX socks because hello trench foot.

List goes on!
Hey, but by fook did the PPE just go nuts, and rightly so btw. The amount of issue boots for every occasion: Haix, Altberg, Lowa, Meindl, iturri......aku......and the list goes on. So be grateful, all we had were DMS, then BCH and the Rolls Royce of boots; NI . Mind you, we did have the SLR.........
 

ACAB

LE
The A41 in the issue Large Pack. I was a crow at Otterburn and I took cover with the damned thing and it stunned me for at least a minute by slamming into the back of my head as I dashed, down and crawled.
 

TamH70

MIA
NCRS.

Horrible idea upon horrible idea. Thank **** we never had to use that thing for real.
 
The boffins turned up at 26 Engineer Regt to trial an ‘engineer trailer’ for our 432. They were sent to my troop. We put them in the panzer with the bar mine layer on the back and invited them to unhitch it etc every time we had to manoeuvre the wagons. The lads then pointed out how much extra fun that would be if every vehicle in the troop was towing one.

Thankfully the trailer never got issued,
 

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