Sgts Mess

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by fififlowertot, Mar 31, 2006.

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  1. :cry: Help....The old man has got into the Sgts mess. Im being told that I will probably have to go to the functions at the mess. Does anybody have any advice, Ive heard stories about dresses having to reach the ground or ankle, snobby wives and strange etiquette? Would it look bad for him if I didnt go?
  2. WOs and SNCOs wives are normal people. They are no more or less snobby than any other wife. Your thread sounds very weird and I find it hard to believe that you really don't know the answer to the question you pose. I assume you have seen WOs and SNCOs wives - you may even have met some and spoken to them. If you really have no idea of what is suitable, ask someone, perhaps even your husband. As for your presence in the Mess at functions, you are not obliged to attend, it is hoped that if you do it is because you want to.
  3. you are absolutely right to worry. there are some very strange traditions in the sergeants mess, which are deliberately kept from the wives of junior ranks until they need to know them. these include:

    1. you may not leave the table to go to the toilet until midnight.
    2. your dress must reach the top of your toes, plus or minus 0.5cm.
    3. if you are wearing the same dress as anyone else's wife, you will be asked to leave - unless it is the RSM's wife, in which case you have to swap places and sit at the top table.
    4. you will be expected to make a short speech announcing your joy at joining the mess.
    5. no wife will talk to you until you have kissed the RSM. as soon as you've done it they will immediately break into spontaneous applause and welcome you with open arms.
    6. you are entitled to one free double & mixer upon flashing your boobs at the barman.
    7. using your cutlery in the wrong order will be fined by a bottle of port.
    8. lifting the bottle of port from the table will be fined by a bottle of port.
    9. allowing the bottle of port to touch the table will be fined by a bottle of port.
    10. you may only speak to the wife of someone who is your husband's rank, or was in training with them, or has the same middle name.

    seriously girl, stop worrying. you'll like it. speak to one of your hubby's mate's wives for the gen.
  4. once youve been to one youll want to go to them all!

    your husband is the mess member, not you, you will always be a guest in the mess, he will always be responsible for your behaviour.

    dress is dictated by the type of function and will be indicated on any proformas he receives about the function. Examples of types of dress can be found in the copy of Mess rules that he should have been given on either his first visit to the mess or by the RSM on the day he was promoted

  5. You'll be fine. There are plenty 'chav' couples in the Mess nowadays, so you'll fit right in.
  6. :lol: Cheers thanks for that Im looking forward to flashing at the barman and becoming friends with a bottle of port! I thought this would be a good place for info as the old man has the sort of humour where he would find it extremely funny to see me wearing something totally inappropriate and would happily get fined a bottle of port for it. Due to his work commitments he has missed a few dos and due to our location and a very young child I dont get to meet many wives who go so I havent had a chance to ask around. Then you read some threads on here about RSMs getting a bit shitty etc and the articles in soldier magazine at the end of last year didnt paint a happy picture of the mess. I know that your behaviour can cause a lot of problems thats why I wanted to know if anyone else out there doesnt go (male or female) and it isnt noted by someone high up that you're not supportive?
  7. The form of dress is on the Proforma/Return that your hubby had to complete and return to the PMC/PEC. Some units are more relaxed than others, and sometimes a trouser suit can be worn instead of a dress. This is down to the RSM (or more probably his wife!). If you would rather wear trousers, get hubby to ask the RSM if this is OK. He (The RSM) would rather that than embarrrass you on the night.

    As far as etiquette is concerned - do what the other wives do! As long as you behave sensibly then there will be no problems. Catfights are a definate no-no! Most wives are not snobby, and most have long since figured out that they hold no rank - Mrs married to Sgt is just the same as Mrs married to WO1!!

    The most important thing to remember is this - Enjoy yourself!! You will no doubt meet lots of other wives and are likely to form some long lasting friendships, and a support network for when the hubbies are depoyed. Don't worry too much about it!
  8. I'm not in the Sgt's Mess but the wife has already said if I get picked up she won't go to any functions. So will that really screw the CR and career??
  9. not really, but turning up to guest night functions and summer/xmas balls on your own is gash. My wife is also serving and while she was away on tour i had to go to everything alone.

    Its good for the other half to turn up to functions, shows that she supports you and the position that you are in.
  10. She supports me wholeheartedly but (due to a medical condition) has a habit of saying exactly what she thinks 8O So she is understandably worried she is going to fcuk up my career by saying the wrong thing.
  11. Then she would prob. fit right in!

    In all seriousness though, the medical condition wouldn't happen to be ADD/ADHD would it?
  12. No she's got Asperger's Syndrome and only found out after our boy was diagnosed. She's also got lots of OCD traits i.e. everything has to feel right to her touch and she does have odd outbursts of Coprophelia (swearing like mad over the silliest of things).

    I just thought she was a stroppy cow all these years :lol:
  13. Can you go out to a restaurant quite happily with her? If she can cope with that I think the Mess will be alright, providing she takes it easy on the alcohol.
  14. Oh god yeah she's not a window licker by any means :lol: :lol:

    However, woe betide any restaurant with bad sevice, water stained cutlery and unnecessary delays to name but a few because the duty manager will get incoming and so will head office. (Maybe it's because as a nation we don't normally complain so the fact she does makes people uncomfortable. Have to say I've got much fussier about expected service). The coprophelia comes into it's own when she is under real pressure or seriously p*ssed off - then again that's when we all tend to let rip so maybe she's not so different from the rest of us after all :)

    It's silly things that tend to trigger her and from what I have heard about the Sgt's Mess there are a fair few potential problems. Don't ask her a question and expect a polite answer as she will give you a very honest reply as a Regtl 2IC found to his cost.
  15. Sounds like pefect demand of high standards - should fit in with the Badge man.