Sgt Star

#1
I seem to remember that, some time ago, various people had a whole lot of fun with this outstanding US Army recruiter...

Virtual Sarge

Click the link, scroll down to 'Launch Sgt Star', and you get a chat window opening up.

Arrse respect to the shortest 'conversation' to generate threats of arrest/prosecution for generally being naughty, or for making me laugh a lot.
 
#2
"Durka-durka, islamic jihad" worked first time.
 
#3
arby McArby: when do I get grenades?

SGT STAR: You will learn how to properly and safely throw a hand grenade during the seventh week of Basic Combat Training.

arby McArby: holy #### ####, seriously?

SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

arby McArby: sorry, i got excited

SGT STAR: That's ok, what else can I help you with?arby McArby: do you like me?

SGT STAR: I appreciate all visitors to the Go Army Web site and look forward to answering your questions.

arby McArby: no, I mean, REALLY like me?

SGT STAR: Good question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

arby McArby: I like you

SGT STAR: Thanks, I try.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#4
Five minutes of my life I'll never get back.

ethel: can i buy pakistan

SGT STAR: There is no cost to you when enlisting.

ethel: Mint. So how much. For the whole place?

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

ethel: OK. How many fingers am I holding up?

SGT STAR: Hmmm, I've been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like, you can ask another question or I can connect you to my supervisor if you click 'Ask Live Help.' Ask Live Help

ethel: has your supervisor got massive chebs?

SGT STAR: I am married, Mrs. STAR is my boss.

ethel: Does she go, you know?

SGT STAR: Good question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

ethel: I'm talking shagging here

SGT STAR: Hmmm, I've been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like, you can ask another question or I can connect you to my supervisor if you click 'Ask Live Help.' Ask Live Help

ethel: Ah, sod it. Laters.

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.
 
#7
Cuddles: Do we kill children?

SGT STAR: While it may be possible to deploy and fight in a war, joining the Army is not about killing anyone. You may or may not be involved in that type of situation; however, serving in the United States Army is about serving and defending your country.

Ok will we fight naked?

SGT STAR: In times of war, deployment is likely. The possibility of deployment depends on your MOS and unit of assignment. All Soldiers must be strong, trained and ready upon assignment to a unit and prior to any deployment, including training exercises, humanitarian missions or combat operations. In general, deployments last a maximum of one year.

Cuddles: Can we rape USMC personnel with impunity?

SGT STAR: I can only tell you about the Army, which is the largest and oldest of all the branches of service. It's self-contained, well-equipped and can be deployed anywhere in the world. As the largest branch, the Army offers the most competitive enlistment options, incentives and guarantees.

Cuddles: Would you like to touch me where I pee from?
SGT STAR: I am here to help answer questions about the Go Army Web site. Your question isn't appropriate. Do you have another question that I could answer?

Cuddles: Can I touch you there?
SGT STAR: What else can I help you with? Please note he did not say "No"!"

Cuddles: Is live help a hotbed of lesbian activity
SGT STAR: Please click "Ask Live Help" to chat live with a Recruiter or send the Army an e-mail by clicking "Send Email" and a live Recruiter will get back to you shortly. Ask Live Help

In a final bid to get something meaty out of them I asked

Cuddles: if i cut my penis off can I join the paratroops?
SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

and
Cuddles: Well if I have a sex-change can I join the Airborne Rangers?
SGT STAR: To enlist for Ranger, you must be 17-34 years of age, male, a U.S. Citizen, a high school senior or graduate, eligible for a Secret Clearance, pass the Airborne Physical, qualify and select a job that has the Ranger enlistment option with it, and attend Airborne school and the Ranger Indoctrination Program. If you make it past that, you go to a Ranger unit for later attendance to Ranger School. You may also be able to request Ranger training even if already in the Army. You would request this training through your chain of command if already in service.
 
#9
SGT STAR: Welcome Choff.

If you would like to save and review this chat, click 'Log In' or 'Create an Account' in the lower window.

How can I help you today?

Choff: why do women have boobs?

SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

Choff: Who would win in a fight between 15 ferrets and a badger?

SGT STAR: In times of war, deployment is likely. The possibility of deployment depends on your MOS and unit of assignment. All Soldiers must be strong, trained and ready upon assignment to a unit and prior to any deployment, including training exercises, humanitarian missions or combat operations. In general, deployments last a maximum of one year.

Choff: what is your opinion regarding the much fabled and frankly underated mexican poeky bum wank?

SGT STAR: That's strike two, Private. One more bad word and I'm outta here.

Choff: Really?

SGT STAR: HOOAH!

Choff: tolerance not a strong point of yours?

SGT STAR: The Army is the largest and oldest of all the branches of service. It was established in 1775 and is self-contained, well-equipped and can be deployed anywhere in the world.

Choff: Hmmmmmm

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

Choff: Autoerotic Asphyxiation..... that must be a hoot eh

SGT STAR: What kind of qualifications are you asking about? Physical, enlistment, home school, MOS, ROTC, OCS, or HPSP?Here's More:
Physical Qualifications
Enlistment Qualifications
Home School Qualifications
more >
Here's More:
Physical Qualifications
Enlistment Qualifications
Home School Qualifications
MOS Qualifications
ROTC Qualifications
OCS Qualifications
HPSP Qualifications

Choff: Rohypnol.... the drug of choice for champions or what?

SGT STAR: Illegal drugs and paraphernalia are not tolerated in the Army. Soldiers are subject to mandatory drug tests and those who test positive are subject to the Uniformed Code of Military Justice and can be discharged from the Army. Drug use can affect morale and the mission, and is a liability to the Soldier and his team.

Did you know that you can save and review your chat history? Click 'Log In' or 'Create an Account' in the lower window to get started.
Choff: tell me a joke

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

Choff: how many people have you killed?

SGT STAR: I am a virtual guide for the Go Army Web site. I have not been in a combat situation but I know many Soldiers who have bravely defended our country. You can visit the Go Army Ask A Soldier Discussion Board and post a question on that board. A Soldier may have an answer to your question.

Choff: are you a homosexual?

SGT STAR: I am married, Mrs. STAR is my boss.

Choff: bisexual?

SGT STAR: The current Department of Defense policy of "Don't ask, Don't tell" is still in effect. During your enlistment process, Army Recruiters will not ask you about sexual preferences. Federal law recognizes this area as personal and private to the extent applicants and Soldiers keep their preferences to themselves.

Choff: do you blow men?

SGT STAR: I'm sorry you feel that way. If you would like to speak with someone about your concerns, please send the Army an e-mail by clicking 'Send Email' and a live recruiter will get back to you shortly.
Error: A network timeout occurred
 
#11
I appear to be unsurprised by that Arbs...good drills!
 
#12
Cuddles said:
I appear to be unsurprised by that Arbs...good drills!
its a shame. I only asked if I could tie Mrs Star up and make her watch while i shot my load over her daughter's pet rabbit.

Asked asked arbyette's dad the exact same question and he seemed quite taken by the idea.
 
#13
Nice work Arby: I'm in work, so a little concerned about generating a trail of naughty footprints from this machine... Sgt Star has not got any more intelligent since last time.
 
#14
How long until I can join Delta Force?

SGT STAR: Delta Force is rumored to be the Army's counterterrorist operations unit. In line with operational security we cannot discuss, nor ponder the unit's abilities.
 
#16
How can I help you today?

Whiffler: Oh, say - can you see ?

SGT STAR: All Soldiers undergo eye exams for enlistment. Perfect eyesight is not a requirement and many applicants do enlist wearing glasses or contacts, the Army will re-evaluate your prescription and if needed will issue you two sets of glasses to wear during your intiail training when you arrive at Basic Training. All soldiers will also be tested for color blindness at this time. Many Specialties do have vision requirements, but if you wear glasses and they are corrected to the requirement, you will be Ok.


Whiffler: By the dawn's early light ?

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.


Whiffler: What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming.

SGT STAR: Hmmm, I've been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like, you can ask another question or I can connect you to my supervisor if you click 'Ask Live Help.' Ask Live Help


Whiffler: Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,

SGT STAR: In times of war, deployment is likely. The possibility of deployment depends on your MOS and unit of assignment. All Soldiers must be strong, trained and ready upon assignment to a unit and prior to any deployment, including training exercises, humanitarian missions or combat operations. In general, deployments last a maximum of one year


Whiffler: O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming ?

SGT STAR: During basic training, Soldiers are allowed to wear a plain wedding band. Rings with stone settings are not encouraged. You are allowed to wear a watch and one religious necklace. Females can have one stud earring in each ear to be used with their Class A uniform only, not with your duty uniform. After training, females can wear a stud earring with their duty uniform.


Whiffler: And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

SGT STAR: Learn more about army vehicles and equipment here.

Here's More:
The Fully Equipped Soldier

OSUT AIT Locations and Times

FAQ, Army Branches


Whiffler: Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there /

SGT STAR: This job seems to be what you're looking for.

Log into Army Career Explorer to further investigate the available jobs that are a good fit for you.
>>

Here's More:
Sgt Magdalena James Video

Army Jobs Discussion Board


Whiffler: Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave ?

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

Whiffler: O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

SGT STAR: America is the land of the free, and the home of the brave. Enough said.


Whiffler: America is the land of the free, and the home of the brave.
Enough said. What kind of verbal diarrhoea is that ?

SGT STAR: America is the land of the free, and the home of the brave. Enough said.


Whiffler: So ...... Hillary Clinton. Would you ?

SGT STAR: I'm here to help you navigate though goarmy.com and answer your questions about the Army. I'm not here to discuss politics.


Whiffler: Alright, what about Chelsea, she must be ready for some 5 star hoop dhobi ?

SGT STAR: March 2 Success is a Web-based program, developed as a public service by the U.S. Army, that provides a free, no obligation tool to help anyone improve their test scores in the areas of English, Math and Science. Diagnostic tests help students identify their strengths and weaknesses. This program makes high quality, test preparation available to any current or former student - at no cost. While registrants can request recruiter contact, there is no obligation to do so. Only those registrants who indicate such a desire will be contacted.Here's More:
Becoming an Officer
Promotions
Ranks


Whiffler: Kiss me goodnight sergeant major ?

SGT STAR: That's a question for an Internet dating service, not goarmy. Next question, please!

I think he's being unfaithful to me with Cuddles
 
#20
Knobber: drop and give me 50
SGT STAR: Hey, I'm the sergeant, here, YOU drop down and give me twenty! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!! COUNT 'EM!!!
Knobber: 1
SGT STAR: Down!
Knobber: 2
SGT STAR: All the way down!
Knobber: 3
SGT STAR: Good! Down!
Knobber: 4
SGT STAR: Down!
Knobber: 5
SGT STAR: Down!
Knobber: 6
SGT STAR: Keep going! Down!
Knobber: 7
SGT STAR: Down!
Knobber: 8
SGT STAR: Down!
Knobber: 9
SGT STAR: Down!
Knobber: 10
SGT STAR: You're half way there Private, don't quit on me now!
Knobber: 12
SGT STAR: It looks like you lost count Private. Stay in the push-up position and give me 20 more!

Barsteward... He's more observant than our PTI!
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
F Aviation 26
Forces_Sweetheart Seniors 30
Stained_Eligius Seniors 6

Similar threads

Latest Threads