SF inadequacy Complex

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by beer, Sep 3, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Hello. I am soon to be married and my best man, bless him, is a complete civvie. This is fine, he is very successful, funny, fit, and very bright. But on my stag-bash he was introduced to an SF friend of mine, who to be fair is utterly ordinary, but has good stories and is fitter and better looking. Now my best man is having complex issues.

    I am genuinely worried. I thought that all would be fine, but after a few post stag bash beers at my "SF" mates house, my best man has gone a bit strange.

    The best man told me whilst pissed, that he is "not worthy" and has gone through a premature mid-life crisis and is not even picking up my calls any longer post-stag.


    Now ok, it's the NAAFI, but, this is a genuine concern. My friend I think is now genuinely looking at his life and feeling he comes up short, despite a good job, a lovely wife and son and 120k job!

    What do I do? HE IS the best man, no doubt, but his own complexes are hard to cover.

    Anyway, all advice welcome, I don't want to lose the guy due to a faggy mid-life crises. At the end of the day, he is the main man, but how can I build up his ego?

  2. Slip him a length of cock, you'll both feel much better afterwards.
  3. Tag team his wife with your "SF" friend film it and pop it in the post to him, make him feel even smaller.
  4. Tsk Tsk, you did post this in The NAAFI Bar!

    Your mate is having a 'civvy' mid life crisis whereby though he has a fantastic, well paid lifestyle that most on here would no doubt envy, in his own mind, he's decided he's 'done' fuck all.
  5. It's very true and it pisses me off. Great life, great family, a son who admires him...Grrrr!

    Yeah, maybe some cock slipping is in order!
  6. Just because he's a civvy is no reason for him to feel inadequate. Remind him that without him and his ilk paying taxes, we wouldn't be able to afford the weapons, ammunition, clothing, food or transport. We'd have to resort to pike charges at the end of a long march across Europe, clad in rags and foraging from the countryside.

    Without the civvy taxpayer, HM Armed Forces would be nothing. So we salute the civvy taxpayer. No medals for him, but a deep respect in the heart of every member of the uniformed forces.

    ...and remind him to buy more War Bonds.
  7. Or

    Every man deep inside his heart regrets not being a soldier. What better test of a man is there? ......fighting for his country, himself and most importanly his friends. (Nicked the quote)

    Dont forget to wear all your medals and all your mil friends etc to do the same.
    That should boost him up a bit
  8. Nnnnoooooooo, you'll find him swinging from the fucking rafters if you do that!!

    Putteesinmyhands, that sound like Munster, 1970s LOL
  9. It's a wah

    Beer doesn't have any friends.
  10. ...from a tattie munching poofter
  11. Actually, I just confused Oscar Wilde with Samuel Johnson. Cancel my last.
  12. Quite true dingerr.....Sniff...Sniff..

    Oh well. I will just have to let my imaginary friend sooth his own soul. Basically, I have already had the talk of " no worries mate, why are you comparing" but to no avail.

    His wife is rather lovely actually. And his son has a pert bottom MmmMMM.
  13. Point him towards the nearest TA drill hall...
  14. Tell him to become a walt, he must be the only one who isn't...
  15. Your 'SF' mate....

    He's really the Mess Steward/Stable Manager isn't he?