Sexual Olympics?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JoeCivvie, Jun 20, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I have a shed-load of work to do but can still waste time...

    Given that the Olympics are about to kick off what events could make up a sexual Olympics (logo - 5 interlocking aresholes)?

    Most capacious fanny events:
    Greatest number of ping-pong balls that can be fitted in
    Most number of fists that can be fitted in
    Largest dildo that can be taken (length and girth)

    Marathon events:
    Longest shag
    Most blokes taken in a gang-bang
    Most women satisfied to orgasm by one bloke in one session

    From slack to spaffing (put me down as a contender for that one)

    Relay Events:
    4-man relay continuously shagging a bint till spaffing


    Most dicks in a chick at one time

    Biggest knob (length and girth)

    Any other ideas?
  2. Excellent! I'll make the squad. I always cum first.
  3. Fastest rapist.
  4. Quickest guy to 're-charge' after shooting his load....

    How many women can you get through in a set time and you have to blow your load over each one...

    Fanny shaving sprint....
  5. The windmilling marathon. 26 miles of running through schools en route and sparking all and sundry out.
  6. How many pints of blood can you ring out of used tampons in 5 minutes.
  7. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Does anyone give a shit ?

    Blindfold flange-shaving using a strimmer.
  8. Most wanks in a day , I`d get gold for this.
  9. At the risk of a double entendre I can see a poll in that.
  10. Ejaculation or escape?
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Combine it with hurdling and I'd pay to watch.

    The 200m wanking hurdles

    The triple wank jump

    Synchronized frotting in the pool

    The German Shit put and turd throwing

    The Championship masturbation on bob sleigh
  12. I misread that first time , thought you suggested fattest rapist ...hey there's another event..
  13. I appreciate that whilst quite a few people may well be fucked afterwards, but I'm a bit disturbed that you think this fits in to Sexual Olympics.

    Still, whatever wanks your tank.