Sexual Harrasment

What a woman percieves IS valid..and (in my opinion) women GENERALLY do not feel safe alone in remote areas.
will be even bolder here now; perhaps it is you that has the man problem?
I think there is truth in both statements. I believe (IMHO) that women (in general) can be more easily intimidated. I think there are many reasons for this - from an evolutionary point of view, they are more aware of the likelihood of danger, they are programmed to develop early defensive mechanisms (which means they will develop anxiety related behaviour sooner) - all completely relevant in cave man times, but not so appropriate now.

I also believe that, in general, women are more intelligent and process information far more effectively than men - therefore, I believe it is incumbent upon women to overcome their natural insticntive selves, and know that they are, in the main, safe. When they are not safe, that they have a very strong likelihood that they can physically overcome their attacker. But if you are programmed to fear attack, you will respond in a 'fearfilled' manner.

The very way that one holds oneself, one walks, the 'sense' of 'don't f*ck with me or I'll rip your head off' when you are out alone, has been shown to put off would-be attackers.

So much of this is to do with perception - and that is in the mind. BB, notwithstanding what happened to you, it was a rare event that is unlikely to happen again - don't allow it to restrict you in what you do.
 

LadyBird

Swinger
I will be even bolder here now; perhaps it is you that has the man problem?
This is of course not so SS. I totally agree with BB when she says that this "fear" works on 2 levels:

One is the constantly ongoing scan of our surroundings which is to some extent biological and all that. Added to biology is the cultural aspect of sexual violence (rape doesn't occur among animals). All people make rapid assesments on everybody they encounter, but I do believe only women count in the risk of sexual violence in every situation.

Second there's the more consious part of it, do I dare go go through town alone by night and all that.
That's where the dresscode etc. comes in.

SS; once we move down the lane of advising women to avoid certain types of clothes, or wear something special, it doesn't end till we are dressed like women in Afganistan. There's no natural stop in between.
There are only 2 possibilities: Either women are responsible for being raped or they are not. If they are it's fair to ask them to dress/behave in this or that way. If they are not - it doesn't matter how they dress.

And I'm sorry to say this but this really is a very misogynous world......Women are killed and tortured everyday simply because they are women. I know this doesn't happen very much in Egnland or Europe - or so we like to think. But the fact is that the most common cause of death among fertile women in Spain is violence from their husbands. There is an indication that this goes for all of western Europe, but I don't think the stats have been made yet.

That is just one thing worth mentioning. The fact is that women are being violated just because they are women.

And!!!! This does not, I repeat NOT mean that I hate men or think they are all bastards! They are a product of this culture just as much as we are. And most of them are of course good people! I'm talking about a culture, not individuals.
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
PART 1

These are my comments on the past couple of pages of discussion.

Rock Apes, to get it out of the way....  Need all their kit, because if somebody decided to take out all those shiny air-refuelling tankers UK projection of power would be down to the Navy and then where would we be?  The value of the assets they protect I believe requires this.

5xM on M rape in Amsterdam
probably by heterosexuals
.  Absolute rubbish!  
(1) In Amsterdam, if you want sex, even kinky 5 to 1, you can pay a relevantly small amount and get this no problem.
(2) Also why pick a lone male over a lone female?
(3) The statistic about M on M being more prevalent than M on F (or any other version) is just rubbish in this sort of environment.  To achieve this you'd need a closed permissive environment, e.g. Not army but, as I've said before, prison.

Rape, general, whilst searching for my CBA I will voice the following thoughts:

There are, I will generalise 3 types of rape crime. (a) the dragged down a dark alley by a stranger - almost exclusively M on F (exception above) and almost exclusively the one that most ladies in Western society fear and this is the sexually motivated assault. (b) the mass rapes seen in Bosnia or SL, these are the Rape for Power that we hear about with men putting down elements of society or out-breeding them (1944/5 Eastern Front?).  (c) The attack by a so-called-friend, older relative, date-rape, not listening to the word NO - probably the most common form of attack and I will suggest something experienced by >50% of women in the UK.

I have, over time dated many ladies that have suffered (c) and one that had (a).

The (a) event was a good looking girl, when she was 15 and in Ibiza.  From earlier comments we know this was stupid of her/her parents to go to such a stupid place and have this happen.  She was very badly scarred from her and I care for her so much even though we're ex. that it hurts to think about.  

I strongly believe that you can do things to avoid getting raped, there are extremes and there are practicalities.  If you think wearing a seatbelt is a sensible precaution - always going home with a mate or having a long coat is too.  If you want to show your mid-rift by all means do (please) but only do it where you want to receive attention, I presume here most ladies don't like getting chatted up as they walk home alone by some drunk stranger so take precautions.  The comment from Ladybird about the next step being Afghanistan ladies fashion is, I am afraid LB as stupid as stupid gets.  

Having said that, ladies should have the absolute right to go where they want dressed as they want (except in my club of course) but as we live in a society with bad people then you are forced to live by the rules of common-sense.  

breaking in and assaulting LOLs (little old ladies) is of course something you can't avoid by what you wear but at the same time it is a risk in life and something that a combination of harsh penalties and improvement of social conditions should help.  

Incidentally the reported number of rapes in NL is about 1% ( of those in the US) I was informed due to the sex industry providing its services.  Food for thought..
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
PART 2

The (c) event appears to be so common that is beggars belief.  Whilst I can put my hand on heart and say I am guilty of none of this the % figure (unless I've unknowingly dated a particular type of person) would indicate that there is a very large proportion of men that are deaf or see through a "red-mist".  I am however guilty of getting girls drunk and having sex with them, whereby if they were sober they might not say yes (I've always felt that if I were sober I might not want to either!)  I don't want to make light of what is a serious subject but British society is very much a "lets get p*ssed and shag" type thing (I think we call it pub culture).  I don't feel a lot of guilt as both sexes do it.

Hang 'em High, yes please.  I've dated some of the loveliest girls on earth and to speak to them and hear their stories fills me with an anger that I find so hard to put into words.

Recovery, like a bereavement, treat them as normal, get them back in the social group and don't brush over everything and listen to what is being said.  A good friend of mine had his brother die and after the funeral we got p*ssed and went to watch Goldeneye at the cinema.  It seemed to work fine.

walking in the countryside / streets, whilst I have never had a street-fight, been mugged or anything similar I put this down to awareness and not going where I shouldn't.  I am however very aware that when walking somewhere at any time of never matching my walk to someone else’s, either to intimidate them (M or F) or to hang around them - other M's.  

Recently walking home late at night to my new apartment block (in Amsterdam FYI) as I was 10m from the communal street door a young lady approaching from the opposite direction was going for her keys to open the same, she entered just before and was obviously unsure what to do (hold the door open out of politeness of let it shut as she didn't know who I was).  In the end she just let the door close under it's own force - however there was still 6" to go when I arrived.  I pulled the door shut to show her that I could then unlock it and I explained "just want you to know that I live here too! - so you are not worried" through the glass.  The Cloggie bird was much relieved and we had a brief friendly chat, but I can understand her concern and would have had the same in her position.  So, I think most people, whether M or F through fear for mugging/assault/rape we are all victims in life.  I put no difference to urban or country environments other than the statistical chances of wondering across somebody.

Kind regards,

Mr H
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
Mr Happy I think the concern you clearly show to women in actively making them feel safer around you is to be commended.

Certainly more men could follow suit...and communication does help.

I remember late one dark night a man walking too close behind me..just a few feet...I stopped and politely asked him if he would walk in front of me as his nearness was making me uncomfortable..he was embarrased ..but obliged.
It had probably not occured to him that I was bothered..but I'm sure he'll not make the mistake again!
 

LadyBird

Swinger
The comment from Ladybird about the next step being Afghanistan ladies fashion is, I am afraid LB as stupid as stupid gets.
I did not say it was the next step. I said there's no natural stop in between. Major difference.
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
I did not say it was the next step. I said there's no natural stop in between. Major difference.
LB, apologies (but I still disagree).  To use a simili:

If I choose to drive at 70mph on an open motorway and it begins to rain really really heavily, the next natural step is not to slow to 0 or stop at a service station for it to pass (though this can be done but is extreme).  I'll slow to 60 or 50 as the conditions dictate dspite the absence of any signs saying to do so.  

The same should be true for going out, your attire and where you go.  It might not be fare for ladies as society dictates you have to wear the revealing clothing to attract our attention (actually this is a misnomer, it's female competition, lets face it blokes don't bother and you still date us!) but you can still take sensible steps.
 

LadyBird

Swinger
The comparison doesn't hold.

Say we did wear a coat and still got assaulted.....well the coat wasn't  long enough...??? Or was it the hair hanging outside..??

There's no natural stop when making women responsible (even if only in part) for rape. There'll always be something the can do/ not do/ cover/ show....

Basically it doesn't matter why and for who we dress up.

And by the way, this sort of rape also happens to women jogging in the park ect. I still say there's no really good reason to cover up other than removing attention and responsability from the rapist to the victim.

Apart from that - I'm impressed that you even give it any thought when you encounter women. I'm impressed!
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
I still say there's no really good reason to cover up other than removing attention and responsability from the rapist to the victim.
I disagree about the benefits of covering up, it's the same reason I won't walk through certain areas in a suit (any Fish & Chip Shop Bn Barracks for example...).  But responsibility is 100% on the BILK (B*astard I'd like to Kill) and your argument has a fair point so I guess we'll agree to disagree? :D
 

LadyBird

Swinger
Mr. Happy; It'll be my pleasure to disagree with a gent like you....(bowing)   ::)
 

yamkwak

War Hero
Oh the joys of 4 Company
Edited cos I have no idea how I posted on this thread ? Homebrew quite strong!


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
 

The_Snail

ADC
RIP

poppi

Old-Salt
Male rape has happened,it happened in a regt I served in a two striper got a young lad who had recently joined the regt pissed and carried out the dirty deed,the lad was discharged and the two striper was court marshalled.
 

llech

LE
Male rape has happened,it happened in a regt I served in a two striper got a young lad who had recently joined the regt pissed and carried out the dirty deed,the lad was discharged and the two striper was court marshalled.
Received a discharge you say, I should f**king cocoa!
 
Male rape has happened,it happened in a regt I served in a two striper got a young lad who had recently joined the regt pissed and carried out the dirty deed,the lad was discharged and the two striper was court marshalled.
Do you mean that is not a Regimental Initiation and military tradition? Well I'll be buggered the lying bastard!
 
I harass women for sex, some times they say yes, the minute you start hitting on a bird it's harassing for sex, even buying them a drink is sexual harassment, women have harassed me for sex...it's great!
 
A new survey made in the Armed forces in my country shows that 33 % of all women in the Armed forces have experienced sexual harrasment, 7 have been raped and 37 attempted raped....By fellow soldiers that is!

Any such surveys in England?[/QUOTE


You have two accounts!? Xxx
 

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