So Iâm in my pit this morning when the alarm on my phone rudely wakes me at 0645. The first thing I notice is that Iâm spooned into the wife so I know I have to do that awkward double-jointed thing with my arm to turn the fucking annoying thing off. But as I lift my arm across I hit lucky and managed to sweep up the charger cable, and I carefully pull the cable and phone towards me, eventually turning the alarm off. Something else I notice at this point is my morning glory. And because I dragged my heels over cancelling my alarm â sheâs now also awake. So I proceed to do what any decent bloke should do at this point, and proceed to force my two-inch erection against her rear end and grind myself up against her in the slight hope that sheâll be, a) horny, b) not pissed off that I woke her up and c) in a good mood. Now I admit, youâve got more chance of juggling chainsaws with one hand than having all three coincide, but luckily for me it was game-on. Now morning sex for me is a little entertaining to say the least. You seem to spend a lot of the time avoiding each otherâs breath stream. Not because of each others, but how we felt about our own. Because despite all the brushing and mouthwash only a few hours before, for reasons unexplained someone obviously comes along in the middle of the night and takes a dump in your gob. Anyway, after some of my best moves and all the thrashing about (and avoidance of each others faces etc) ...the deed is done. Weâre both lying there on our backs after what felt like a good half hour or so. And she says to me âWouldnât it be funny if you didnât actually turn your alarm off and only hit the five minute snooze insteadâ¦â And at that very moment, my fucking phone went off again. And the missus didnât seem impressed either. Tell us about your biggest bedroom let-downs.