sexual assault

#1
i got drunk the other night and woke up naked in bed with my platoon sergeant. we were both covered in vegetable oil and had poo flakes down our japs eyes... do you recon we raped each other or both wanted it.... im sexually confused... help me
 
#3
You will need:

Duct tape
A pipe
A car
Patience

Tape the pipe to the exhaust. Run the end of the pipe into a window. Clamp the window mostly shut, so that very little air can get in through the crack.

Sit in the car. Turn on the engine. Put on the radio and listen to a station of your choice. You will feel sleepy.

Go into the light.
 
#5
you will need:

Duct tape
a pipe
a car
patience

tape the pipe to the exhaust. Run the end of the pipe into a window. Clamp the window mostly shut, so that very little air can get in through the crack.

Sit in the car. Turn on the engine. Put on the radio and listen to a station of your choice. You will feel sleepy.

Go into the light.
it doesnt work with unleaded petrol you cunt
 
#6
Just be glad it wasn't a full on night on the lash. You'd be properly concerned after that. School nights in? Boring as fuck.
 
#8
You will need:

Duct tape
A pipe
A car
Patience

Tape the pipe to the exhaust. Run the end of the pipe into a window. Clamp the window mostly shut, so that very little air can get in through the crack.

Sit in the car. Turn on the engine. Put on the radio and listen to a station of your choice. You will feel sleepy.

Go into the light.
Is that a window of a stranger's house? Because by the time you'd finished listening to the show on the radio, the fumes in the stranger's house might have got a bit hazardous.
 
#12
#16
Not sure about that?!!
But it definitely won't work if the vehicle has a functioning catalytic converter.
So make sure it's an old motor and use the tape to get a nice seal around the window, you're feeding the pipe through.
Yes, but they take a while to warm up, so the CO might do for him if he starts it from cold. Failing that, he'll just asphyxiate in the CO2. Best bet would be to shower in the lead free and then have a last cigarette.
 
#17
Yes, but they take a while to warm up, so the CO might do for him if he starts it from cold. Failing that, he'll just asphyxiate in the CO2. Best bet would be to shower in the lead free and then have a last cigarette.
And a bottle of Jack's finest as a sedative.
 
#18
I'd suggest a quiet stroll on the third rail of the Metropolitan Line. A nice long walk often clears the mind.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
i got drunk the other night and woke up naked in bed with my platoon sergeant. we were both covered in vegetable oil and had poo flakes down our japs eyes... do you recon we raped each other or both wanted it.... im sexually confused... help me
Logically speaking, you cant rape each other. One of you has to say no.
 
#20
Logically speaking, you cant rape each other. One of you has to say no.
While on this particular point......Anyone else had a woman in the throes of passion cry out "No no no"? very unsettling. The first time this happened I abruptly pulled up mid pump and asked if she was ok. All I received in reply was a stern "Why the bloody hell are you stopping you bastard!"
 

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