No doubt they've been posted before but I can't be ARRSEd to check. 1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! 2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. 3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.. 4 - How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 5 - Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. 6 - If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long. 7 - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. 8 - Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. 9 - Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. 10 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. 11 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.. It's called a Wedding Cake. 12 - Why do men die before their wives? They want to.