Sex quotes...........

#1
Five of my favourites..............feel free to add some more :biggrin:

1. "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand!"

2. "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

3. "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

4. According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

5. "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
 
#7
Sorry, but that's not how your sister used to do it.
 
#9
'SURPRISE!'
 
#10
"Sex between two people is a wonderful thing.................especially if you can find the right two people!
 
#13
'I've come to clean the pool.'

'I haven't got a pool'

'Ok, lets fuck'

(cue wah wah 70's music)
 
#14
I had nothing to do with teaching a Nig to use this phrase to score in Germany...

"FaustFick mein Arschloch mit Senf bitte'

apologies for spelling, but we taught him to say it, not write it.
 
#17
whit_RE said:
Would you like a pearl necklace?
Hey whit, have just seen your post about the Rodney bird, have you got something about necklaces tonight.

Also known as natures bubbles
 
#20
Can I sniff your pissflaps?

Usually gets enough of a laugh that later....they let you!
 
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