Sex and Shopping - the difference between men and women

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by Pasty Boy, Sep 3, 2004.

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  1. May be not the right thread but I'll post this here anyway:

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. But maybe this will help.


    FOR EXAMPLE:
    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
    just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT?!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband
    on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
    I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
    take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

    We went onto a jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
    one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
    because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
    play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
    honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
    like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    "WHAT???!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
    You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
    satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
    "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"


    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Brilliant, Pasty Boy, just brilliant !

    :lol: :lol:
     
  3. Top laugh Pasty Boy, sounds just like my missus.
     
  4. Abso-bloody-lutely priceless!; a top post... I will have to remember that one.

    :lol:
     
  5. Fantastic ! LMAO !

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  6. I have to (ruefully) admit, that was pretty good!!