Sex and Shopping - the difference between men and women

#1
May be not the right thread but I'll post this here anyway:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. But maybe this will help.


FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT?!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband
on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto a jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"


Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#2
Brilliant, Pasty Boy, just brilliant !

:lol: :lol:
 
#3
Top laugh Pasty Boy, sounds just like my missus.
 
#4
Abso-bloody-lutely priceless!; a top post... I will have to remember that one.

:lol:
 
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