Several funnies.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Monty417, Nov 1, 2012.

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  1. [FONT=Comic Sans MS, sans-serif]Son said to Dad “I'm Gay.”
    Dad looks at his other son and said “What about you?”
    Other son said “Me too Dad.”
    Dad said “doesn't anyone in this family like pussy?”
    The Daughter said “I do…”

    10 Catholic Priests were killed in a road accident.
    At the Pearly Gates St Peter says “If any of you are Paedophiles you can piss off down to Hell.”
    Nine of them start to walk away when St Peter calls out “And take this deaf bastard with you.”

    In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.

    We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits.”
    I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”
    “No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”

    The wife said to me last night “If you turn the bedside lamp off I'll take it up the arse.”
    Maybe I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first….

    My mate reckons he always cries after sex. Mind you....he is in Prison.

    The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my fanny and you know what that means don't you?”
    I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”

    Nearly shagged a Ladyboy last night.
    Picked him up in a night club. He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement…! That's when I thought “Hang on just a minute…”

    I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.

    I shouted “Where you off to Charlie?”
    He said, “I'm off to change a light bulb.”
    Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing. …then said,
    “That's gonna be a bit awkward init?”
    “Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”



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