Seventy-eight things a woman cant do: (and counting)

#1
1. Know anything about a car except its colour
2. Understand a film plot
3. Go 24 hours without sending a text message
4. Lift
5. Throw
6. Run
7. Park
8. Fart
9. Read a map
10. Rob a bank
11. Resist Ikea
12. Sit still
13. Tell a joke
14. Play pool
15. Pay for dinner
16. Eat a kebab whilst walking
17. Pee out of a train window
18. Argue without shouting
19. Get told off without crying
20. Understand fruit machines
21. Walk past a shoe shop
22. Make a decent bacon sandwich
23. Not comment on strangers clothes
24. Use small amounts of toilet paper
25. Let you sleep with a hangover
26. Drink a pint gracefully
27. Get a round in
28. Throw a punch
29. Do magic
30. Like your friends
31. Enjoy porn
32. Eat a really hot curry
33. Get to the point
34. Buy plain envelopes
35. Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
36. Sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"
37. Go shopping without phoning 20 mates
38. Avoid credit card debt
39. Dive into a pool
40. Assemble furniture
41. Roll a bogey between finger and thumb
42. Set a video recorder
43. Not try and change you
44. Watch a war film
45. Understand why flirting results in violence
46. Spend a day by themselves
47. Go to the toilet by themselves
48. Buy a purse that fits in their pocket
49. Choose a video quickly
50. Conserve electricity, water or any other form of energy.
51. Admit they are wrong
52. Not try and undermine you
53. Let you make your own decisions
54. Agree with you
55. Use common sense
56. Make a major change to the world for the better with an invention
57. Construct a floor plan
58. Remember something that isn't for them
59. Win something
60. Walk out of a store with stuff they didn't plan to get before they walked in there
61. Get something done right the first time
62. Call anyone 'mate'
63. Stay In The Kitchen
64. Stay quiet for longer than 1 minute
65. Find Madeline McCann
66. Cook.
67. Stop making their husbands lives hell.
68. Get married and still give a blowjob.
69. Have their money ready before they get on the bus.
70. Clean out a tropical fish tank.
71. Get ready in the morning without making a racket.
72. Choose suitable footwear
73. Post lists and pretend they're jokes.
74. Compliment other women.
75. Find your mates are good company for you.
76. Take it up the arse without moaning about it beforehand
77. Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above.
78. Scratch their nuts whilst watching the telly.
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#2
79. not argue with the sat nav
 
#3
read a map
buy petrol without changing shoes
work anything without reading the instructions
 
#4
jamboking said:
79. not argue with the sat nav
Uh-huh.

Him: "This thing is wrong, bloody incompetent software,you're supposed to take a left there, I was a fcuking tank commander, trained to read maps, grunt bellow chunter..."

Me: "Really? Then why have we just spent an hour circling Embankment?"
 
T

Tremaine

Guest
#5
Can't
Use less bog roll
Forget an argument, decades after
Stop changing their hair
Remember their own phone numbers
operate the remote but never forget their share numbers
See over the dashboard
Do Spiders
Stop talking through your film
Stop going through your pockets
Resist Checking your phone for messages
Stop Answering your phone
Keep out of your wardrobe
Stop moving the front room about
Stop Showing you up in public
Resist bubbling you to your mates
Stop eyeing up your mates
Have a short phone call
Remember what it was you fancied them for....

Can't do without them though :roll:
 
#6
Cant understand that you can actually use one cleaning product in multiple areas of the house, and do not need to try every new washing powder, liquid, liquitab (whatever the fuck that is), concentrated fabric conditioner, etc. which hits the market.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#7
Understand the offside rule (just like most linesmen)
 
#9
Understand the difference between "pressed" and "ironed" and "run" and "jog".

"Are you going jogging?"
"You take ages to iron your stuff"
 
#11
Tremaine said:
Can't
Use less bog roll
Forget an argument, decades after
Stop changing their hair
Remember their own phone numbers
operate the remote but never forget their share numbers
See over the dashboard
Do Spiders
Stop talking through your film
Stop going through your pockets
Resist Checking your phone for messages
Stop Answering your phone
Keep out of your wardrobe
Stop moving the front room about
Stop Showing you up in public
Resist bubbling you to your mates
Stop eyeing up your mates
Have a short phone call
Remember what it was you fancied them for....

Can't do without them though :roll:
I know at least one that can do spiders... :twisted:
 
#14
Have sex ... with a man... without being or falling in love first!!!
 
#15
HappyNomad wrote

................ ever let the bloke have the last word EVER
We do, its just that a blokes last word marks the beginning of the next argument :D
 
#16
mac5543 said:
Have sex ... with a man... without being or falling in love first!!!
"Making Love". . . . I thought that is how women refer to having sex !!
 
#19
plant_life said:
I'd disagree with the bacon sandwich and the cooking there Knocker.
Hmm
 
#20
pff,
 

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