Setting Up A GRU-Style Troll Farm

#1
Inspired by the energetic, yet underwhelming performance from some of our contrarian electronic friends, I'm toying with the idea of setting up my own troll farm and contributing to the online pollution for cash. However, a few mundane questions and details remain about how to recruit trolls, setting key performance indicators and business development. So, in order for me to get rich, I need you all to share your wisdom. Here's a few of my own ideas:

1. Recruit university students, long-term unemployed and drug addicts. The "time rich" are available and if their expectations are low enough, they won't expect too much money. Every troll has his price and theoretically it's possible to set trolls against their former masters. Double troll agents if you like. If I can recruit current trolls living abroad, that's access to talent with experience.

2. Pay per post. Quantity over quality is the key here. It pays to have a massive volume of content to wade through, sucking up everyone's time and sapping the targets energy in the process.

3. How will the customer know that their investment is working out? Seeing threads become unreadable and making the target lock or close their accounts just to claw back the remaining segments of their sanity.

4. Business development. How to convince budget holders that investing in this troll dream is going to be key to their current goals.

Basically, the dream is that troll farms could eventually become accessible to the ordinary citizen. No longer would a person have to bite their tongue when some former colleague on Facebook shares a political view they disagree with. With minimal effort, a small investment and little accountability, you too could promote rumours that your friend's wife is a man, that he's serial rapist and shoulders partial responsibility for 9/11. All through the medium of memes, sh1tposting and 24/7 inbox harassment.
 

hotel_california

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
I'm semi-retired with a poor grasp of Russian. Would it be possible to be paid in cash? I'll make my own tax arrangements.
 
#5
Inspired by the energetic, yet underwhelming performance from some of our contrarian electronic friends, I'm toying with the idea of setting up my own troll farm and contributing to the online pollution for cash. However, a few mundane questions and details remain about how to recruit trolls, setting key performance indicators and business development. So, in order for me to get rich, I need you all to share your wisdom. Here's a few of my own ideas:

1. Recruit university students, long-term unemployed and drug addicts. The "time rich" are available and if their expectations are low enough, they won't expect too much money. Every troll has his price and theoretically it's possible to set trolls against their former masters. Double troll agents if you like. If I can recruit current trolls living abroad, that's access to talent with experience.

2. Pay per post. Quantity over quality is the key here. It pays to have a massive volume of content to wade through, sucking up everyone's time and sapping the targets energy in the process.

3. How will the customer know that their investment is working out? Seeing threads become unreadable and making the target lock or close their accounts just to claw back the remaining segments of their sanity.

4. Business development. How to convince budget holders that investing in this troll dream is going to be key to their current goals.

Basically, the dream is that troll farms could eventually become accessible to the ordinary citizen. No longer would a person have to bite their tongue when some former colleague on Facebook shares a political view they disagree with. With minimal effort, a small investment and little accountability, you too could promote rumours that your friend's wife is a man, that he's serial rapist and shoulders partial responsibility for 9/11. All through the medium of memes, sh1tposting and 24/7 inbox harassment.
We don't need to recruit trolls, we are doing a great job on an ineffective enemy. Grey Dunce & the other Moscow monkeys will be off to the Gulag when his bosses find out how useless they are.
 
#6
Inspired by the energetic, yet underwhelming performance from some of our contrarian electronic friends, I'm toying with the idea of setting up my own troll farm and contributing to the online pollution for cash. However, a few mundane questions and details remain about how to recruit trolls, setting key performance indicators and business development. So, in order for me to get rich, I need you all to share your wisdom. Here's a few of my own ideas:

1. Recruit university students, long-term unemployed and drug addicts. The "time rich" are available and if their expectations are low enough, they won't expect too much money. Every troll has his price and theoretically it's possible to set trolls against their former masters. Double troll agents if you like. If I can recruit current trolls living abroad, that's access to talent with experience.

2. Pay per post. Quantity over quality is the key here. It pays to have a massive volume of content to wade through, sucking up everyone's time and sapping the targets energy in the process.

3. How will the customer know that their investment is working out? Seeing threads become unreadable and making the target lock or close their accounts just to claw back the remaining segments of their sanity.

4. Business development. How to convince budget holders that investing in this troll dream is going to be key to their current goals.

Basically, the dream is that troll farms could eventually become accessible to the ordinary citizen. No longer would a person have to bite their tongue when some former colleague on Facebook shares a political view they disagree with. With minimal effort, a small investment and little accountability, you too could promote rumours that your friend's wife is a man, that he's serial rapist and shoulders partial responsibility for 9/11. All through the medium of memes, sh1tposting and 24/7 inbox harassment.
Dont ferget that it has too be dun in broken inglish and txtspk two.
 
#8
I'm semi-retired with a poor grasp of Russian. Would it be possible to be paid in cash? I'll make my own tax arrangements.
I'll keep you on the books. A little Russian counts as fluency for the purposes of business development. Whaddya reckon? This time next week you could be engaging directly with senior Moscow leadership on the merits of Krokodil. As you're the first to stick your cv in, I'll need you to write me up a bid for a major contract with a Nigerian local education authority. I'll pay you if we win it.
 
#9
Inspired by the energetic, yet underwhelming performance from some of our contrarian electronic friends, I'm toying with the idea of setting up my own troll farm and contributing to the online pollution for cash. However, a few mundane questions and details remain about how to recruit trolls, setting key performance indicators and business development. So, in order for me to get rich, I need you all to share your wisdom. Here's a few of my own ideas:

1. Recruit university students, long-term unemployed and drug addicts. The "time rich" are available and if their expectations are low enough, they won't expect too much money. Every troll has his price and theoretically it's possible to set trolls against their former masters. Double troll agents if you like. If I can recruit current trolls living abroad, that's access to talent with experience.

2. Pay per post. Quantity over quality is the key here. It pays to have a massive volume of content to wade through, sucking up everyone's time and sapping the targets energy in the process.

3. How will the customer know that their investment is working out? Seeing threads become unreadable and making the target lock or close their accounts just to claw back the remaining segments of their sanity.

4. Business development. How to convince budget holders that investing in this troll dream is going to be key to their current goals.

Basically, the dream is that troll farms could eventually become accessible to the ordinary citizen. No longer would a person have to bite their tongue when some former colleague on Facebook shares a political view they disagree with. With minimal effort, a small investment and little accountability, you too could promote rumours that your friend's wife is a man, that he's serial rapist and shoulders partial responsibility for 9/11. All through the medium of memes, sh1tposting and 24/7 inbox harassment.

I'm free most evenings and will work for port, beer and genuine pictures of Kate Bush circa 1988 with no clothes on.
 
#10
I've had a handful of interviews (without coffee, though one did involve vodka) with GRU officers. It's a long time ago but I would be willing to do the tea and biscuits free of charge.
 
#12
I'd like to volunteer DaManBugs as he has extensive linguistic skills, major trolling experience and nothing better to do than pollute the internet.
 
#13
I'll keep you on the books. A little Russian counts as fluency for the purposes of business development. Whaddya reckon? This time next week you could be engaging directly with senior Moscow leadership on the merits of Krokodil. As you're the first to stick your cv in, I'll need you to write me up a bid for a major contract with a Nigerian local education authority. I'll pay you if we win it.
АЖ/КЗ!
 
#15
Please make clear whether your suggestion involves either (a) you working with no clothes on, or (b) Kate Moss circa 1988 with no clothes on. Not for me, you understand, but @Grey Fox might be confused.

I did think I might have inadvertently been unclear.


Katy baby naked not me.


Ideally both of us naked, consensually, but that's pretty unlikely.


Note: Kate Bush (hot, curvy) not Kate Moss (scrawny, smokes).
 
#16
I did think I might have inadvertently been unclear.


Katy baby naked not me.


Ideally both of us naked, consensually, but that's pretty unlikely.


Note: Kate Bush (hot, curvy) not Kate Moss (scrawny, smokes).

Would you accept curvy and smokes as a compromise opening position?
 
#20
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