Setting the egg timer before bed...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Apr 15, 2005.

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  1. 20 -30 % of men suffer from premature ejaculation at some time in their lives.. [ so the boffins say ] and this sexual dysfunction is the most commonly reported ' problem ' but how ' premature ' is premature?..
    so, like all good boffins they decided to give it a 'test'..

    the ladies were given stop watches [ which of course puts more anxiety on the head of the men ] and then asked to time their partners in the act..

    [ no pressure, no pressure ]..

    response varied from 1.8 minutes after beginning intercourse to 7.3 minutes for those who could ' stay the course '..[ 1500 men were tested against 200 who had been previously diagnosed with the condition ]

    the average response times would have been longer but apparently MDN and Corp shot their loads before the ladies could finish clicking the start button on the watches, which threw off the results...
  2. RTFQ


    Average add break between One Tree Hill and Hollyoaks with the little mong girl doing sign language bottom left corner: 4mins 30 secs

    Time to get my superman pyjamas off: 30 secs (without resorting to velcro quick release mechanism)

    Time for lass to get her spandex wonderwoman outfit off: 15 secs (if I use my gerber)

    Time for lass to wake little RT up: 25secs

    Time for me to rabbit punch her in the scalp for using her teeth: 5 secs

    Time for little RT to reog and be ready to move: 25 secs

    Time for lass to juice up: Who cares?

    Time for RT to wipe the accumulated dry night-saliva from his teeth and chin: 5 secs

    Remaining: 2 mins 45

    add post coital hug and the question "what are you thinking about?" only leaves you about 60 secs.

    I'm not premature, I'm spot on!
  3. I was also going to add that I'm not premature. I c0me exactly when I mean to. Want a demo Moody? 8)
  4. :D "What are you thinking about?" every bloody time, it makes my (calloused)heart sink!
  5. RTFQ


    I know, and they don't want the truth: "I was thinking about whether your sister has a tighter snatch than you" does NOT go down well. :roll:
  6. Getting past erectile dysfunction seems to be the thing these days...

    Best options seem to be
    1] exercise: Like the rest of your organs, the penis needs healthy blood flow to function properly. A recent American study found that men with 42 inch waists were twice as likely to suffer early poop out as men with a 32 inch waist.. Gee.. kind of expected that...fat cells produce estrogen, too much estrogen, as every steroid monkey knows, produce man breasts and ' involunatry celibacy.. Novel concept.. exercise..

    then of course you could turn to
    2] Herbs: Viagra may induce an erection but it won't bring back the long-lost frisky teen sex drive.. but, Mother Nature offers some assistance..some ' seeds ' can counteract the fading mojo [ and, no, its not marijuana ] increase ' stamina' one should try " rhodiola rosea ", " ginko biloba" " maca " and the aptly named " horny goat weed "

    If all else fails there's technology..the erm - penile implants - erection inducing pumps, those feats of hydro engineering rivalling the Three Gorges Dam project..still , all of this is no cure for the sexual slacker..
    no little pill is going to turn an inept ' player' into'll just have an erection and still be inept.. Even with a bionic pecker, there may be no pleasing anyone but yourself...
  7. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Your point being......?