Services no longer required!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by brucewillis, Mar 12, 2009.

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  1. The current Mrs Willis has decided to free me up, so that other ladies may benefit from my charms and has decided to get divorced. At the same time taking the kids and the dog.

    I have spoken to a solicitor but it seems very complicated and expensive, so I wondered if anyone whose unit was having a range day could possibly see their way to shooting her. I would be happy to pay travel expenses within the UK. Also as she is quite awkward she will probably be reluctant to participate in this. So stand by for a bit of a struggle. Lump hammer should sort that out though!

    Many thanks
  2. She took the dog? That's abit harsh isn't it?
  3. Keep the dog... You'll miss it if you don't...
  4. give her my number, i'll talk her into give you the dog, and me a blowjob at the same time... everyones a winner!
  5. Send her to the ranges at Pirbright this weekend, we're using UGL, should scatter her nice and evenly!
  6. That cos of the sunshine tour?
  7. It isn't because of the beard is it Bruce?
  8. Naturally follows what I have been ranting about ... best remedy for spousal rants ...DIVORCE!

  9. Just fuck off, ya spaff gobbling trollop.
  10. mwl946

    mwl946 LE Good Egg (charities)

    She s probably applying for the "vacancy", Sainty - she likes her men secondhand
  11. I doubt she gives them, else he'd be moving Heaven and Earth to keep hold of her! :D
  12. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    I understand that there is a move to release Peter Sutcliffe from Broadmoor near Crowthorne in Berkshire.
    Maybe you could take your ex-wife to be to the charming town of Crowthorne, drug her up, set her loose with a placard on her back saying 'I am a fucking prostitute please shag me!!' and there is every chance that the job could be a good'n.

    Saves on ammunition as well.
  13. Check your PMs, can I watch the dog give you a blow job?

    FFox and Butler, no its because she can't stand me. (Obviously the womans mad).

    I doubt I'll be single long, me being a good looking bloke and all that.
  14. Can you post a piccy?,this may help me decide about bidding for her.Thanks.
  15. Just kick her out of your home and then shoot her with a shotgun when she comes back. If you tell plod that it went off accidentally then you are probably ok, judging by recent court cases.

    On a serious note, where do you live? I can probably get you in touch with a good family lawyer (who may or may not be related to me).