Hi I'll try to keep this short and sweet, last year I wanted to join up so badly. I was training everynight and reading up as much info as I could, a lot of it off this site actually. So my heart was set on joining the paras but and I know this may sound like a bad excuse. My grandfather passed away and i've had a lot on my case with the current economic climate, then my family, who was full of nothing but support for the idea, suddenly didn't want me to go. Im now working as a security guard and I just feel miserable, everytime I see anything remotely to do with the military I feel as though im missing out. I don't know how to break it to them but Im going to go down the AFCO this week. Im just scared because I don't want people thinking im doing it selfishly, if you know what I mean. Im 19 by the way. Does it sound like my hearts into it?