Serious Medical Condition

#1
I was just lying in the bath trying to force out a rogue trump but to no avail. All the straining brought on an urge to gypsy's kiss but I couldn't squeeze that out either so I stood up to have another go. On standing up I suddenly felt a bit dizzy and it took a few seconds longer than usual to unleash a stream.

Also my wife is about to return from work and find that I haven't done any of the things that I told her I was going to spend the day doing and instead have been sitting in my pants watching Only Fools and Horses and trying to convince my dog he can fly by picking him up and "Flying" him around the house making aeroplane noises.

Have I got AIDS?
 
#3
It sounds more likely you have Tiffy syndrome...you spineless lezzer.

Now try again and this time at least follow through leaving Brown stains down your pants and tell your missus you can't be ARRSED cleaning up.
 
#4
Try sticking the wife's "Big Dong" vibrator up your arse. You know, the one that makes you feel ashamed and inadequate. That should fix whatever it is that's ailing you.

Hope this helps.
 
#5
Cheers chaps, so I have AIDS, I'm spineless and have penis envy all very reassuring. I was worried that it may be serious.
 
#6
I was just lying in the bath trying to force out a rogue trump but to no avail. All the straining brought on an urge to gypsy's kiss but I couldn't squeeze that out either so I stood up to have another go. On standing up I suddenly felt a bit dizzy and it took a few seconds longer than usual to unleash a stream.

Also my wife is about to return from work and find that I haven't done any of the things that I told her I was going to spend the day doing and instead have been sitting in my pants watching Only Fools and Horses and trying to convince my dog he can fly by picking him up and "Flying" him around the house making aeroplane noises.

Have I got AIDS?
I think you've got a big bottle of whiskey !!!
 
#8
I think you have transmogrified into Harry Carrot's sock puppet, in which case it is VERY serious.

What you need is to fix a fridge, spend a weeks wages on something you don't want or need and eat nothing but ham and tomato sandwichs from a vending machine for a week. Should sort you out.

Oh, and lay off the Guinness. Drink of benders, that stuff.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#9
I was just lying in the bath trying to force out a rogue trump but to no avail. All the straining brought on an urge to gypsy's kiss but I couldn't squeeze that out either so I stood up to have another go. On standing up I suddenly felt a bit dizzy and it took a few seconds longer than usual to unleash a stream.

Also my wife is about to return from work and find that I haven't done any of the things that I told her I was going to spend the day doing and instead have been sitting in my pants watching Only Fools and Horses and trying to convince my dog he can fly by picking him up and "Flying" him around the house making aeroplane noises.

Have I got AIDS?
Are you living with Sluggy?
 
#11
#13
#16
Skelewhore, the only possible reason I'd put my cock anywhere near you would be in order to choke the life out of you.

And then only as a last resort in the event I found myself to be a quadruple amputee.
 
#17
Skelewhore, the only possible reason I'd put my cock anywhere near you would be in order to choke the life out of you.

And then only as a last resort in the event I found myself to be a quadruple amputee.
But, but, but how would you wank over the corpse afterwards?
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#18
Spaz, don't forget to let Fido reward you for his "flying lesson" by having him lick peanut butter from your gaping corn hole.
Do this in front of your wife, it'll prove a point...


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#19
...Have I got AIDS?

There's an easy test: Check to see if you still have your manly appendage attached in the natural manner.

If the only thing you see down there is a septic mess of a frankenclunge instead of 19 inches of sheep frightener, you have the AIDS.
 
#20
There's an easy test: Check to see if you still have your manly appendage attached in the natural manner.

If the only thing you see down there is a septic mess of a frankenclunge instead of 19 inches of sheep frightener, you have the AIDS.
If you can still see your knob, the second test is to see if you've got spunk dribbling out of your arse.
 

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