Sensitive issue - no, sod it "BIRD WANTED"

Discussion in 'Army Reserve' started by msr, Jun 16, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. msr

    msr LE

    Classy bit of fluff wanted to accompany me to the Summer Ball, preferably Manchester based ;)

  2. Firstly, let me point out that I'm neither "classy" or Manchester, but want to offer a word of advice, MSR. You may need to give a little bit of information about yourself, to, errrmmm, whet the bird's appetite.
  3. How about one of these?


    Classy bird - Great tits - Still with a bit of fluff on them though :p

    Editted to add that they've even got their mouths gaping open wide for your worm!!!
  4. Translation:

    Not too fat bint required, not too much upper lip hair and no misspelt tattoos. Willing to trade a night of being fawned on by Subbies, for sex.

    Own teeth a bonus.
  5. msr

    msr LE


    In fact, I may even rule out tattoos all together...

    I also appreciate the inherent contradiction of putting 'classy' and 'Manchester based' in the same sentence....

  6. msr

    msr LE

    So, what do you want to know?

  7. Buy me a nice frock and I will think about it.
  8. He said classy.... :p
  9. It's not what I want to know, but I am sure success would depend on you making this a good proposition for the "bird". I mean, if you intend to pay here to accompany you, then ..... how much? But, even so, she may still need to know more. I would have no idea!!!! So, taking it just to be an evening (unpaid), she would want to know your age, height, build and whether you looked presentable. She would want a photo, I'm pretty sure. And, if you were going to spend a whole evening together, then you need to write a profile about yourself, demonstrating your interests and sense of humour.

    Editted to add: Oh, forget all that ...... you've got one!!!!!!!!
  10. msr

    msr LE

    Are you accusing me of 'kerb crawling'?

    Photo available on request, age 33, height 6', build reasonably athletic (as I have to pass a PFT by the end of July), presentable (under most circumstances).

    Does this help?

  11. 8O For some reason I thought you were an old git! :oops: Sorry! :D

  12. Yes I'd like a photo please!!! :D Shouldn't this be in Lonely Hearts?
  13. Yeah ..... I imagined you were short, fat and old. Yeah send me a photo!!!

    Why haven't you got a girlfriend ...... or ain't she classy enough for the ball?
  14. Going on this post he wants a ball partner, not a life partner! :roll:
  15. mmmm....... must admit I got the impression he was 'old', it's not looking too good is it Bovvy? :?
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.