Senior NCO-isms

#1
Senior NCO-isms... we've all heard them. Mainly on courses such as PCBC when high quality SNCOs embellish their well-rehearsed lessons with big words that they learnt on their promotion courses. However are there any out there that beat the substitution of the word 'Specific' with 'Pacific'?

For example:

"Excuse me sirs gents, please look in to the model and listen to the brief on the PACIFIC threat that you will be faced with on this TEWT"

For the whole of my time as a subaltern I was convinced we were waiting for an attack by the Japanese!

I open it to the floor for further example.
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
There is the quote on the site about a certain SSM who was not very happy to hear that a number of allegations had been made against him.

So he addressed the assembled Squadron before him and demanded that the 'alligators' came forward.
 
#3
Ahhh, the 654 desert 'alligators'...What about the dismantle that...re-mantle it over there!....Or, once you have checked the 'outer-rimetre, check the inner-rimetre. All from the same SSM...got 2 love it!
 
#4
blobmeister said:
Ahhh, the 654 desert 'alligators'...What about the dismantle that...re-mantle it over there!....Or, once you have checked the 'outer-rimetre, check the inner-rimetre. All from the same SSM...got 2 love it!
'Dismantle - mantle 'em up again' - first heard from Peter Ustinov recalling his war service. He may have been making it up, of course, but it must be 30 years since I heard him tell it on TV.
 
#5
Once served with a Cherry Picker SNCO on a Cadet Training Team. Giant of a bloke, but sweated like a para taking a spelling test when required to instruct kids.

When instructing on the art of putting up bivvies he always became confused between 'string' and twine' and inevitably ended up saying something along the lines of ' you need 10 feet of twing etc'.

Certainly cracked the kids up.
 
#6
Yeah, been done before.... to death.... search function, it's a wonderful thing, but so little used.


and I believe the last bloke who put it up got f-ucking annihalated for being an "up himself f-ucking rodney who perhaps should of been listening to the advice the seniors were giving him rather than judging them on the way they said it"

Now, if this had been in the NAAFI, fair do's, weapons free.... and you're a nig so perhaps I should cut you some slack.... so you trot along and pop your red cords on and take your chocolate lab for a walk and we'll try again when you get back...there's a good sir.

:)
 
#7
Red cords, chocolate lab? You had better leg it, because I am searching the garden more thoroughly this time!
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#8
mysteron said:
There is the quote on the site about a certain SSM who was not very happy to hear that a number of allegations had been made against him.

So he addressed the assembled Squadron before him and demanded that the 'alligators' came forward.
It was actually a certain PARA trained WO1 in the RMP who made that one in the Mess at Chichester...allegedly.
 
#9
WO2 in the SA Army on instructing recruits on the 81mm mortar - "this weapon can fire in a 380 degree circle". Recruit - "Sir, there are only 360 degrees in a circle". WO2 - "This is a fcuking BIG circle!"
 
#11
Don_Coyote said:
Senior NCO-isms... we've all heard them. Mainly on courses such as PCBC when high quality SNCOs embellish their well-rehearsed lessons with big words that they learnt on their promotion courses. However are there any out there that beat the substitution of the word 'Specific' with 'Pacific'?

For example:

"Excuse me sirs gents, please look in to the model and listen to the brief on the PACIFIC threat that you will be faced with on this TEWT"

For the whole of my time as a subaltern I was convinced we were waiting for an attack by the Japanese!

I open it to the floor for further example.
If only our SNCOs could be as well educated and clever as you, imagine just how good the army would be then. Pillock
 
#12
Dung_trumpet said:
Yeah, been done before.... to death.... search function, it's a wonderful thing, but so little used.


and I believe the last bloke who put it up got f-ucking annihalated for being an "up himself f-ucking rodney who perhaps should of been listening to the advice the seniors were giving him rather than judging them on the way they said it"

Now, if this had been in the NAAFI, fair do's, weapons free.... and you're a nig so perhaps I should cut you some slack.... so you trot along and pop your red cords on and take your chocolate lab for a walk and we'll try again when you get back...there's a good sir.

:)
Fcuk off, this thread is funny as fcuk. I'm just waiting for one of the edumacated types to slip up. THEN you can jump in like the wolfhound you think you are. Ker-nob.
 
#13
Biscuits_AB said:
mysteron said:
There is the quote on the site about a certain SSM who was not very happy to hear that a number of allegations had been made against him.

So he addressed the assembled Squadron before him and demanded that the 'alligators' came forward.
It was actually a certain PARA trained WO1 in the RMP who made that one in the Mess at Chichester...allegedly.
Was that Rodger G you are reffering to? If so it was when he was a CSM at 101.
 
#14
Daytona 995 & Dung_Trumpet; did the nasty young officer offend your fragile egos'? Obviously you will never have taken the piss out of officers.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#15
nottyash said:
Biscuits_AB said:
mysteron said:
There is the quote on the site about a certain SSM who was not very happy to hear that a number of allegations had been made against him.

So he addressed the assembled Squadron before him and demanded that the 'alligators' came forward.
It was actually a certain PARA trained WO1 in the RMP who made that one in the Mess at Chichester...allegedly.
Was that Rodger G you are reffering to? If so it was when he was a CSM at 101.
Nearly. I was told that it was S Rogers.
 
#17
Biscuits_AB said:
nottyash said:
Biscuits_AB said:
mysteron said:
There is the quote on the site about a certain SSM who was not very happy to hear that a number of allegations had been made against him.

So he addressed the assembled Squadron before him and demanded that the 'alligators' came forward.
It was actually a certain PARA trained WO1 in the RMP who made that one in the Mess at Chichester...allegedly.
Was that Rodger G you are reffering to? If so it was when he was a CSM at 101.
Nearly. I was told that it was S Rogers.
Now that I can believe. Not the bloke Godwin then, although I could believe that too.
 
#18
Don_Coyote said:
"Excuse me sirs gents, please look in to the model and listen to the brief on the PACIFIC threat that you will be faced with on this TEWT"
Its called character, idiosynchratic perhaps, but character nonetheless.
Funny thing is, sixty years later, on your deathbed, you'll remember him.
Do you think he remembers you?
 
#19
x6655321 said:
We were told to pull our bedsheets "talk". I went for "taut" in the end.
Was that at Band Camp?
 
#20
I went to a WO2´s dining out once, where the RSM made a speech during which he promised to tell us some "entertaining antidotes" about the outgoing guest. No doubt his speech was written with the aid of a ruler.
 

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