Self-polluters tip of the week.

Taken from Jodrell Bank's Self-Abuser's Almanac.

Guys! Experience that special self-asphyxiation frisson!

1. Prepare your Jizznasium, end trap, or drying room by laying out a Porno-rama of suitably stimulating material.
2. Don a laura Ashley summer dress and your S10, negative cannister.
3. Go at it like an epileptic trombonist, while holding one hand over the cannister port on the respirator.
4. Grey out during the vinagar strokes.

For added fun, arrange to be caught by a junior female officer during rounds. I guarantee she will resign her commission and spend the rest of her days in a Buddhist Nunnery in remotest Nepal! :D
speaking from experience? You've field tested this then?

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