Self abuse and then claim on the CIA scheme??

Whilst drinking with a Belgian chip shop bloke the other night, I think I remember that he told me that when he was in the congo he gambled his weeks wages away. To make up his losses he decided that he would beat himself up and put in a claim that he was set upon by a bunch of congolese codfish stabbers. I suppose under EU law, Belgian law would be the same as ours maybe? Apparently he eventually received 1600euros from the Belgian CIS. Surely this is utter chip shop bollocks as no one would believe this nonsense let alone a government who would have to foot the bill. Sounds worse than the sort of shite which comes out from the FBU in my book! Fuckin world's gone crazy but then???
I wonder if I could be successful in putting in a claim for RSI caused by wanking?
Short answer; even though a member of the EU, English and Welsh Law is neither the same as Belgian Law in all contexts nor of other EU countries.
Well his friggin Belgie chips were straight as **** but my recent English chips were soggy, fat and of non standard dimension so this being the case, we might as well get the **** out of the EU coz **** all is as important as chips!!

Anyway, my mate René may be Belgian but he makes pretty good chips, his mayo is superb and his Trappist beers are deadly but do you know what? 1600e for beating yer meat or your boat race is a result in my book!!

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