Seen any Funny Patches?

I returned from Herrick 14 alittle while ago, went to take my spares into my local army supplys place and I took my "Sons of Anarchy, Helmand Div" in and the chap who owns the place wants to copy it and provide online for Soldiers deploying. These arent allowed to be worn 24/7 but we all know what the crack is on tour after 2-3 months, when your out on the ground and out of prying eyes you can get away with these little gems of morale.

Ive google'd and google'd and I cant seem to find anyone that provides them, all I can find are naff american humor ones, in my eyes, would be a another little bonus we can pick up before tour.

So my question is, Can anyone remember or think of any funny patch designs they saw on tour or even off.. That they've always wanted. Or even can think of a good design they'd love to acquire?

There were a few I saw but for the life of me I cant remember.

Any photos anyone has of any would be brilliant.

Please dont post anything offensive, lets maintain Op Security, Cheers!

Many thanks to all who post!

P.S Aye I know the Helmand div thing isnt that amusing, before the trolls jump in, but it seemed appropriate at the time after spending the whole tour watching it.
....maybe NOT a good idea to post about morale improvements of that nature if they might be considered even the tiny weenyist bit offensive in any way shape or form..... See "Pissing on Dead Afghans" to see what a shit-storm can be achieved in very short order when the meeja get hold of a story.
When I was a Cpl in 50 Fd Sqn RE, we were deployed to Belize, at the time that Guatamala had declared that it was going annex Belize.

At this time the Guats were making the occasional foray over the border and were pumping propaganda at us via a medium wave radio station that was hilarious to listen to:

"Breetish solyers go khome to your loved ones thees kreeesmus, because our solyers are comming weeth our machetees to keel you"

My money was on my sect. LMG!

I digress.

The place was such a shithole at the time and me and my lads spent weeks on end in the jungle doing mundane things, that I designed a t shirt and had it made. The front was a copy of an old WW2 poster:


On the back, the t shirt said: No And I Wish I hadn't ******* Well Come.

Unfortunately the t shirt went viral and soon they could be seen all over town.

So, another day another bollocking!
I've seen Taliban Hunting Club badges on **** pigs who never left a FOB. It's like the old 'Sniper Team, Sarajevo' T-Shirts lads were buying at Spilt Airport in Bosnia.
Seen a good US Medvac patch will a bird in a dress and the wording "Like Whores we go where the work is". Failing that I like my "That Guy" mudguard.


I saw one that amused me for some reason, "Secret Squirell" and a picture of a squirell with an m4


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Myself and some of my fellow idiots from 3P mess on HMS Exeter had Royal Navy Fleet Jet Ski Display Team patches on our ovies. They lasted approximately 3 minutes until the buffer removed them with great force.

Best T-Shirt I've seen was for one of the T boats which had a picture of a stanley knife with 'Underwater Borstal' written underneath. An honourable mention should also go to the gunners on the Ark who had shirts printed with a phot of Harold Shipman on the front with 'Alright Shippers' written below.
Never needed patches or t shirts or stuff like that in West Belfast in the 70's.

A few union jack stickers worn on helmets or flak jackets, or wrapped around the barrel of an FRG would wind the locals up.

If they complained we'd point out that their shitty little Fenian council estate was STILL part of the UK whatever they liked to think....cue ensuing riot...



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