The Sun news paper was left reelling today after an unknown assailent managed to get past security and in to the press room with a "piece of actual news". The assailent opened his jacket to reveal what looked like real news articals had been plastered all over the inside of his coat and over the front of his shirt. As terrified staff dived for cover behind their desks a lone page 3 girl shrieked in terror as she was being interviewed for news in briefs. Luckily the team from striker rushed the assailent from their side room and Hagar the Horrible managed to get out of his Viking long boat parked out side. The assailent then jumped through the nearest window using a nearby bed as a trampet, and disappeared, leaving george and lyn wondering what had just bounced on their bed. Septic Peg, said "she had predicted that this would happen and the assailent would not win the lottery this week". An unnamed source in the sun announced "Everyone was terrified!!! The police said it could have been a suicide bomber, but that wouldn't be as dangerous as a real news article!!! It could have been 9/11 but times a million." It turned out that what the staff thought were real news articles were infact test printouts from a Hewlett Packard printer. Which if not read at all, do resemble actual news. The police are currently too busy to pursue the matter as they are too busy protecting a string of high profile locations penetrated by the newspaper. The mirror have printed some genuine photos of what the assailent did whilst inside the Suns HQ. The Sun fiercly denys that the assailent danced the conga with Hagars wife and daughter and also fiercly deny that he photocopied his genitalia for use in a dear deidre column. The mirror countered with that the photos showed what the assailent may have done. All right it didn't happen, but it could have!!!