Security clampdown at Jackos sendoff

Someone told me that the tight security around Whacko's planting was because Elvis was in attendance, couldn't possibly be true, could it? Nor, I'm sure, is the story that around the same time the face-transplanted one was found dead, the LAPD found a shrivelled corpse lying under a palmtree on the beach, bearing a British passport with the name Michael Jackson. He was quickly cremated, which started the terrible fires they are now undergoing in the Sunshine state. Trouble is, I reckon, our colonial brothers can't tell the difference between a mucisian wearing a general's uniform, and, well, anything much really........

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