Secretary of State for Defence - whos next?

#1
Gordon is currently huddled over the embers of a dying fire in his garret, planning the constitution of his Cabinet. With the obvious lack of talent in both the upper and middle tiers of Government, he is struggling to fill all the posts.

Which is why he is asking ARRSErs for some help. He needs to fill the most important post of all with a high powered candidate who can balance the conflicting aims of the next Government, which will be to cut the Defence Budget by 20%, police the world including Darfur, Iraq and Afghanistan and keep Rosyth (because it's in Scotland and right next to the PM's constituency) whilst insisting that everything in the garden is rosy!

With all that in mind, who do you think should be the next Secretary of State for Defence?

Litotes
 
#2
Ok well we obviously need someone who can put a positive spin on things...can turn fiction into fact in the eyes of the world....has no moral compass....no integrity....will sell himself to the devil for self promotion....someone who has no sense of patriotism and will actively work against his own nation at a time of war....

ummmm....
Piers Morgan?
 
#4
I think that the smart move would be to install a SoS in the House of Lords. This would remove a lot of the scrutiny as nobody tends to care what our aged friends are up to. I suggest Lord 'Dickie' Attenborough. He has the Labour whip and is used to putting on grand shows that are really made out of cardboard backdrops. He is a trained actor of great skill and having played 'Christie' in '10 Rillington Place' and 'Pinkie' in 'Brighton Rock' will fit in very well among the Liebour Baddies. Who in the services could get angry at a man who was 'Bartlett Big X' in 'The Great Escape'?
 

BuggerAll

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#5
I was trying to write an amusing ironic piece suggesting we bring back Buffooon, but the thought of that slippery t@rd just made me feel sick.

Unfortunately there is very little talent in the Labour Party - that’s because there are only 3 types of Labour MP. Fools who honestly believe in socialism, charlatans who don't believe in socialism but see it as their best chance to get into power and foolish charlatans who believe in socialism but are pretend to be Blairist New Labour in order to get into power.

That's why ther is so much spin - because at the end of the day all they have is presentation, and very few of them believe what they are presenting.
 
#7
Someone with a pair of b*llocks who get's the lads the kit & support they need without excuses & who has the spine to stand up to the next PM!
Someone who's not afraid to throw his hands up & say"Sorry,I f*cked up" when he did.
Someone who can provide truthful answers to honest questions.
Someone who can get the lads out of Iraq & the Stan without anymore bloodshed.
Someone who can look the widows & families of the Fallen in the eyes with honesty,compassion & understanding.
But does he exist or am I asking too much?
Regards,
Spike
 
#8
Al Murray, the Pub Landlord
 
#9
we need someone ex forces, the system we have with politicans at the moment is that they move from job to job with every reshuffel, so by having someone who knows how everything works would make more sence.
 

Alsacien

LE
Moderator
#11
super_stab69 said:
we need someone ex forces, the system we have with politicans at the moment is that they move from job to job with every reshuffel, so by having someone who knows how everything works would make more sence.
Question:

Who was the last M of D that had served in any of the forces :?

Methinks it has been awhile......
 
#14
How about a appointing a soldier to the post, even a retired General? Even a committee formed from a retired General, Admiral and Marshal, with the Secretarys post rotating like the CDS does.

Nah, too much like common sense.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
Jeremy Clarkson - winner hands down. (Except of course that he is not exactly a Liarbour supporter)
 

Alsacien

LE
Moderator
#16
Praetorian said:
How about a appointing a soldier to the post, even a retired General? Even a committee formed from a retired General, Admiral and Marshal, with the Secretarys post rotating like the CDS does.

Nah, too much like common sense.
Conflict of interest - may care about the military more than the government view.....
 
#17
Bert_Preast said:
Aye, a long run of lawyers in the post has certainly done the forces no favours.
That's a very real concern of mine. Look at the most vacuous and slippery of politicians and they're almost all lawyers. There is a place for lawyers in society (in the stocks, preferably) but when government is dominated by these weasels is it any wonder that it stands for nothing? Theirs is a profession that will argue anything at all as long as they get paid, they will use irrelevant technicalities to weasel out of establishing the truth. Hence we end up with "ah...what I actually said was....".

Some countries have rather colourful characters - Putin is an ex-KGB spook, Bush is the slightly thick rich kid of a CIA chief (and ex-prez) and Angela Merkel is a quantum physicist, but they're in the minority. Nick Griffin - grandmaster of the KKK (joke!).

The amount of lawyers in politics is shocking. Nikolas Sarkozy, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Mary McAleese, Tony Blair, Michael Howard, Charles Kennedy, Menzies Campbell, Geoff Hoon. Lots and lots of Tories, of course! Horrible horrible people. I know that they are great at debating and arguing that black is white, however hanging's too good for them. I best get off that fence now!
 
#18
PoisonDwarf said:
Bert_Preast said:
Aye, a long run of lawyers in the post has certainly done the forces no favours.
That's a very real concern of mine. Look at the most vacuous and slippery of politicians and they're almost all lawyers. There is a place for lawyers in society (in the stocks, preferably) but when government is dominated by these weasels is it any wonder that it stands for nothing? Theirs is a profession that will argue anything at all as long as they get paid, they will use irrelevant technicalities to weasel out of establishing the truth. Hence we end up with "ah...what I actually said was....".

Some countries have rather colourful characters - Putin is an ex-KGB spook, Bush is the slightly thick rich kid of a CIA chief (and ex-prez) and Angela Merkel is a quantum physicist, but they're in the minority. Nick Griffin - grandmaster of the KKK (joke!).

The amount of lawyers in politics is shocking. Nikolas Sarkozy, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Mary McAleese, Tony Blair, Michael Howard, Charles Kennedy, Menzies Campbell, Geoff Hoon. Lots and lots of Tories, of course! Horrible horrible people. I know that they are great at debating and arguing that black is white, however hanging's too good for them. I best get off that fence now!
All agreed. Every man-/woman-jack on your list, and 10,000 more besides.

But lawyers are no different from diplomats, who will also argue black-is-white, according as they are paid.

Look at the magnificent moral victory recently won for us by diplomats over Iran - which the RN/RM chiefs proceeded to squander for us! (Those of the 15 who spoke to the press were actually insignificant young stooges, soon to be forgotten.) It was RN, RM and MoD who messed it all up - international-perceptions-wise.

Those with subtle brains and velvet tongues have their uses in warfare, hot and cooler . . . . .
 
#20
Isnt he offering Paddy Pantsdown a job?

His Dad was a Captain in the Indian Army and he is an ex booty and "Them"(the wet kind)
 

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