Sec of State for Defence "incompetent" says......

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Herrumph, Jul 3, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Sec of State announces today that a small fortune is being splashed to increase size of Reserves:

    BBC News - Army reservists to receive more benefits

    Most interesting announcement is that TA will now be called the reserves. What does that make all of us with a Reserve commitment - is this just a cunning ruse to ensure target is reached?

    BBC also alleges that the S of S was accused of being incompetent ..... not by the usual muppets opposite but by the Speaker of the House.
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Sec of Def declared in his statement that certain documents had been distributed and copies put on the HoC Library - they had not so Shadow Sec of Def moaned (although quite rightly) to the Speaker who got a tad annoyed at Sec of Def.
  3. The second XI - and these normally remain on the bench.
  4. That'll come in after Afghanistan is history and they'll be back to fat ****s boozing it up on drill nights down the gang hut.
  5. No, no, no. They are the future. In other news the NHS is recruiting doctors who are not fully trained but who fancy a dabble. This is on no way a cynical cost cutting measure, but, in fact, recognises the superb contribution out people can make with enthusiasm and blind optimism!!

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
    • Like Like x 1
  6. SoS is nominally responsible for everything, but this looks like a CS cock up. Probably working on the documents until the last minute, and missed the posting deadline.
  7. SoS: "Who's the old geezer in the corner?"

    Arse kissing CS: "Oh that's old Wainright your Elevated Secretaryship Sir, he's been here for donkey's years!"

    SoS: "and what exactly does he do?"

    Arse kissing CS: "Something to do with the postroom and occasionally touching up a cleaning woman at christmas bashes I think your Shining Magnificence Sir!"

    SoS: "Well we don't need him now, cost cutting you know, tighten belts etc. etc. hand him his cards, or pack him off on voluntary early retirement!"

    Arse kissing CS: "As you wish your Stateley Secretariness Sir!"

    ...and thus it was that the only ****er in MoD Whitehall who knew what the F@ck was supposed to happen, left!
  8. Unconfirmed reports suggest that the speaker has ALLEGEDLY been experiencing unspecified "domestic issues".

    2/1 They've just received the bill from Lord McAlpine's libel lawyers
    3/1 Mrs Bercow has just signed up for I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here
    5/1 Mrs B has done a "tasteful," topless shoot for GQ
    10/1 She's pregnant by some pikey, Irish tinker
    50/1 Shorty has just been diagnosed with chlamydia
    100/1 Mrs B has announced she's standing for UKIP in the general election
  9. Arse Kissing CS turns to camera... pulls off rubber mask to reveal....The EMPEROR!

    Fade to black......
  10. Damn right. I'm apparently on the 'active list' but if you tried mobilising me for anything other than the Second Coming MoD's really rather mediocre legal eagles would find themselves handling some considerably more able corporate ones.
  11. Yes. I saw this on the live feed and it was excruciating. Mr Hammond took it well but I suspect the last person he would have wanted a bollocking from is Mr Speaker Bercow. Not only had the list inadvertently not yet been made available to members, but the media supposedly did have it, which is a no-no.

    I felt sorry for the FR20 team who (whatever people think of the outcomes) have been working bloody hard on this and will not have appreciated their work being briefly overshadowed by an admin error.
  12. As in "I'm an amateur gynaecologist, I've not been trained, but I'm willing to have a look at it for you".
  13. You poor deluded individual, the majority of lawyers in the private sector are equally shite. Besides, what use would corporate lawyers be in challenging an MoD mobilisation notice?
  14. I'm not suggesting they would actually mobilise you - just use you as a "Reservist", available in theory but making up the numbers thereby justifying binning a Regular (who in turn probably also gets added to the fictional reserve). It's like a military manning ponzi scheme - what could possibly go wrong?