SEASONAL EMPLOYMENT - ANY ADVICE PLEASE

#1
Once again I have been pinged to be Santa at the kids' Xmas school smoker. Third year on the bounce and its in a few weeks time. I need something to add variety to my repertoire.

Clearly this is the place for some erudite and intellectual assistance - all gratefully received.
 
#3
Take a real Reindeer with you!
 
#5
My advice is to lose the belly, whiskers and jolly demeanour and perhaps you won't get yourself into these scrapes.
 
#6
I suggest watching "Bad Santa" for advice....would be right up the street of some of the members here

 
#7
My personal favourite is to have your flies eyes out, and your old fella at Duran Duran for the entire day, you may need to get your mitts on some Viagra but hey ho ho these are the sacrifices you need to make in order to have kids sat on your lap for days and days, I’m not aloud to be Santa anymore despite my ideal figure, the judge said so.
 
#8
hallveg said:
My personal favourite is to have your flies eyes out, and your old fella at Duran Duran for the entire day, you may need to get your mitts on some Viagra but hey ho ho these are the sacrifices you need to make in order to have kids sat on your lap for days and days, I’m not aloud to be Santa anymore despite my ideal figure, the judge said so.
hallveg, i've been sat patiently waiting for you to comment all afternoon and you haven't let me down. I was going to ask how many times you had been sacked (No pun intended) as Santa?
 
#9
Just let the mums / wives sit on your knee and fcuk the kids off :D

Milfs...yum yum!
 
#10
TheBigUn said:
hallveg said:
My personal favourite is to have your flies eyes out, and your old fella at Duran Duran for the entire day, you may need to get your mitts on some Viagra but hey ho ho these are the sacrifices you need to make in order to have kids sat on your lap for days and days, I’m not aloud to be Santa anymore despite my ideal figure, the judge said so.
hallveg, i've been sat patiently waiting for you to comment all afternoon and you haven't let me down. I was going to ask how many times you had been sacked (No pun intended) as Santa?

Happy to be so predictable
 

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