Seagulls - Rants and Solutions

T

Tremaine

Guest
#1
Can't all be serious threads and bad news, far too depressing.

Technically, there is no such thing as a seagull. There are many different species of gulls - and most of them live inland. Nice interesting info aside, does anyone else hate these fcuking flying antisocial yobs?? They live "inland" ...fcuking right they do, they're screeching outside the house all the time, from the early hours until dusk. Ripping bin bags to bits, nicking food on the Seafront, and strutting about squawking like they own the place. And they're huge great barstewards, scared of no-one. Why can't they be arrested?

Without being cruel (much) how do you get rid of them apart from painting their eggs with oil, or blasting them with a Purdey ? They aint Sea Gulls, they don't live at Sea, they're very naughty boys :x
 
#2
Wrap elca seltzer in bread when they eat the bread it fizzes in their stomach and they cant pass it and explode !!!!
 
#5
VanHelsing said:
Wrap elca seltzer in bread when they eat the bread it fizzes in their stomach and they cant pass it and explode !!!!
They used to do that at a certain BP Oil Refinery with "cardice"... allegedly. :D
 
T

Tremaine

Guest
#6
Sparky2339 said:
VanHelsing said:
Wrap elca seltzer in bread when they eat the bread it fizzes in their stomach and they cant pass it and explode !!!!
They used to do that at a certain BP Oil Refinery with "cardice"... allegedly. :D
So Sea Gulls can't fart? :? 8O I would have thought those knuts would be the worst offenders for cocking a leg and blowing off at tourists?
 
#7
Tremaine said:
Sparky2339 said:
VanHelsing said:
Wrap elca seltzer in bread when they eat the bread it fizzes in their stomach and they cant pass it and explode !!!!
They used to do that at a certain BP Oil Refinery with "cardice"... allegedly. :D
So Sea Gulls can't fart? :? 8O I would have thought those knuts would be the worst offenders for cocking a leg and blowing off at tourists?
Not sure if the seagull has a small and large intestine, so don't think this stuff gets near enough to its arrse to fart.

Apparently (as gas expands under pressure or summat) they inflated very, very fast, something went pop and dropped like a stone.

Apparently and allededly... :D
 
T

Tremaine

Guest
#8
"Not sure if the seagull has a small and large intestine, so don't think this stuff gets near enough to its arrse to fart."

Technically informative and very well put, there. Are you Sir David and can I claim my five quid?
 
#9
Sparky2339 said:
Tremaine said:
Sparky2339 said:
VanHelsing said:
Wrap elca seltzer in bread when they eat the bread it fizzes in their stomach and they cant pass it and explode !!!!
They used to do that at a certain BP Oil Refinery with "cardice"... allegedly. :D
So Sea Gulls can't fart? :? 8O I would have thought those knuts would be the worst offenders for cocking a leg and blowing off at tourists?
Not sure if the seagull has a small and large intestine, so don't think this stuff gets near enough to its arrse to fart.

Apparently (as gas expands under pressure or summat) they inflated very, very fast, something went pop and dropped like a stone.

Apparently and allededly... :D
It works, seen it done.
 
#10
Tremaine said:
"Not sure if the seagull has a small and large intestine, so don't think this stuff gets near enough to its arrse to fart."

Technically informative and very well put, there. Are you Sir David and can I claim my five quid?
:D :D :D

I liked that!!! No Trem' I'm not I'm afraid :D

Not that I've seen this happen you understand...
 
#11
Carbide in bread is the best !

Yes ........... it works beautifully !

You used to be able to buy it in Chemists.
 
#12
CATGI said:
Carbide in bread is the best !

Yes ........... it works beautifully !

You used to be able to buy it in Chemists.
Used to "fish" with that when I was younger and used it to get wet hexy etc going too in the 80's.

Millets etc sold it too, dunno if it'd be legal to buy these days.
 
#14
Tremaine said:
"You want some? eh Geezer?"
I know in your first post you said they were big seagulls but...

You're on your own with that one Tremaine!!! :D
 
S

syledis

Guest
#15
On a similar vein, allegedly if you get a starfish, skin it and feed it to a cat, said cat will die of poisoning.
Not a lot of people know that!!
 
#16
Tremaine said:
Can't all be serious threads and bad news, far too depressing.

Technically, there is no such thing as a seagull. There are many different species of gulls - and most of them live inland. Nice interesting info aside, does anyone else hate these fcuking flying antisocial yobs?? They live "inland" ...fcuking right they do, they're screeching outside the house all the time, from the early hours until dusk. Ripping bin bags to bits, nicking food on the Seafront, and strutting about squawking like they own the place. And they're huge great barstewards, scared of no-one. Why can't they be arrested?

Without being cruel (much) how do you get rid of them apart from painting their eggs with oil, or blasting them with a Purdey ? They aint Sea Gulls, they don't live at Sea, they're very naughty boys :x
I get the feeling the bastards would have your eyes out sooner look at you!
 
#17
Can you shoot them? Legaly that is. I have the same problem as Tremaine, living as I do in Warmington on Sea. A nice 12 foot pound air rifle might be the answer, avoiding hitting the OAP's, obviously! :lol:
 
#18
I have to agree that they are a nuisance on land but there has been many a time whilst solo sailing in the North Sea I have been happy with their company, keeping station on the stern of the boat for hours on end, maybe hoping I will throw them a bit of food :D .

Jim
 
#19
Marc_St_Hilaire said:
Can you shoot them? Legaly that is. I have the same problem as Tremaine, living as I do in Warmington on Sea. A nice 12 foot pound air rifle might be the answer, avoiding hitting the OAP's, obviously! :lol:
You can shoot some seagulls but there are some protected ones. They are incredibly light for their size, so one thing you can do is start to throw large pieces of bread up in the air, which they catch on the wing and eat whole. Now wrap some bread around a good sized stone and they'll catch it. The surprising change in their weight drops 'em out of the sky above you, whereupon you take a stick to them. Apparently
 
#20
The Sailor said:
I have to agree that they are a nuisance on land but there has been many a time whilst solo sailing in the North Sea I have been happy with their company, keeping station on the stern of the boat for hours on end, maybe hoping I will throw them a bit of food :D .

Jim
More like waiting for you to fall overboard so they can pick your eyes out. I was at sea for years and came to loath them. Even more so now I live in a seaside town. They really are the jackals of the air.
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads