Seagulls - Rants and Solutions

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tremaine, May 9, 2009.

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  1. Can't all be serious threads and bad news, far too depressing.

    Technically, there is no such thing as a seagull. There are many different species of gulls - and most of them live inland. Nice interesting info aside, does anyone else hate these fcuking flying antisocial yobs?? They live "inland" ...fcuking right they do, they're screeching outside the house all the time, from the early hours until dusk. Ripping bin bags to bits, nicking food on the Seafront, and strutting about squawking like they own the place. And they're huge great barstewards, scared of no-one. Why can't they be arrested?

    Without being cruel (much) how do you get rid of them apart from painting their eggs with oil, or blasting them with a Purdey ? They aint Sea Gulls, they don't live at Sea, they're very naughty boys :x
  2. Wrap elca seltzer in bread when they eat the bread it fizzes in their stomach and they cant pass it and explode !!!!
  3. So this isn't a dig at the Met's version of Ashie?
  4. Nope. Seagulls the feathered kind.

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  5. They used to do that at a certain BP Oil Refinery with "cardice"... allegedly. :D
  6. So Sea Gulls can't fart? :? 8O I would have thought those knuts would be the worst offenders for cocking a leg and blowing off at tourists?
  7. Not sure if the seagull has a small and large intestine, so don't think this stuff gets near enough to its arrse to fart.

    Apparently (as gas expands under pressure or summat) they inflated very, very fast, something went pop and dropped like a stone.

    Apparently and allededly... :D
  8. "Not sure if the seagull has a small and large intestine, so don't think this stuff gets near enough to its arrse to fart."

    Technically informative and very well put, there. Are you Sir David and can I claim my five quid?
  9. It works, seen it done.
  10. :D :D :D

    I liked that!!! No Trem' I'm not I'm afraid :D

    Not that I've seen this happen you understand...
  11. Carbide in bread is the best !

    Yes ........... it works beautifully !

    You used to be able to buy it in Chemists.
  12. Used to "fish" with that when I was younger and used it to get wet hexy etc going too in the 80's.

    Millets etc sold it too, dunno if it'd be legal to buy these days.

  13. "You want some? eh Geezer?"

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  14. I know in your first post you said they were big seagulls but...

    You're on your own with that one Tremaine!!! :D
  15. On a similar vein, allegedly if you get a starfish, skin it and feed it to a cat, said cat will die of poisoning.
    Not a lot of people know that!!