I heard through a mate's friend's driving instructors dog that the RAF would now become Shitish Airways and with immediate effect all the pilots and trolly-dolley's are to go on strike because they've been undervalued and forced to wear ridiculous uniforms for years.
The Navy will come under the command of the Cowes Sailing club and it's Commodore, Rear-Admiral Sir Bufton-Tufton, will sell all obselete vessels to Switzerland, which will leave it with one small Landing craft, for the Royal Marines, now re-branded as Funny Girls, a chain of outrageous transvestite bars, staffed by burly tattoed and well mannered cross-dressers.
The Army will downsize but specialise, whereas everyone will join the SAS and we'll have 6 Sqn's of Special Farces. A new unit will be formed called the The Queen George Fusiliers, where anyone can join irrespective of age, mental ability and girth around the waist, and the only obligation to anything military is a fecking great uniform and a medal allocation of one per calender month, depending on how many nights you've earned propping up the bar in your local with your carefully scripted tales of daring-do and undercover skullduggery. It will be commanded by Brig James Shortt and the RSM, will be WO1 M Golden VC DSO.
I might have misheard but that's what he said . . . .
