SCUM

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cannon fodder, Jun 30, 2011.

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  1. Hello chaps. I hope you are all super swell. Today I am audictioning boys for a new musical version of the classic borstal movie Scum. This is a challanging musical and will no doubt be controversial.

    I have some actors playing major parts in the musical but I have decided I want some strong military boys to fill the big roles. I require a no nonsense hooligan to play Carling, a "think he is hard" shaggy haired loon to play Bongo and a young soft defencless homosexual to play Davis.

    The role of Davis will be most challanging. To make the musical as real as possible you will have to be raped (for real) by three boy hungry boys, though only two will enter you. Prelube your anus before every show and you will be fine.

    Come on guys... what you think?
     
  2. Jarrod enters - stage right (sprinting for some reason?)
     
  3. Jarrod enters - rear surely?
     
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  4. Jarrod just enters
     
  5. Then leaves, then enters again and so on
     
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  6. Jarrod gets entered.
     
  7. I don't see Jarrrod as being defenceless..... mind you, I suppose he can act.
     
  8. Heard that Jarrod has only got a small part...
     
  9. Well there'll be enough blokes on here that have a Ron Hills tracksuit in the wardrobe who can play the P.E. instructor.

    I don't think 5A can play the big coon as when Carling asks "where's ya tool?" he'll bite the cunts face off.
     
  10. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Wasn't this concept already explored on that dogshit Little Britain program?

    I'm pretty sure it was one of the Pete Waterman sketches.

    To the accompaniment of a 1980s Casio keyboard:

    ''Where's your fucking tool.''
    Chorus: ''What fucking tool?''
    ''This fucking tool!''
    Instrumental..........
     
  11. I'm willing to have my arsehole stretched beyond repair. As long as my buttocks are bitten and my hair is pulled right back at the same time
     
  12. Still struggling to read, twat?

     
  13. Did you know that I invented Bostal?
     
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  14. Yeah, we got all that from your username. Twat.
     
  15. I'm the facking daddy, when do I start.
     
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