• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.


Hello chaps. I hope you are all super swell. Today I am audictioning boys for a new musical version of the classic borstal movie Scum. This is a challanging musical and will no doubt be controversial.

I have some actors playing major parts in the musical but I have decided I want some strong military boys to fill the big roles. I require a no nonsense hooligan to play Carling, a "think he is hard" shaggy haired loon to play Bongo and a young soft defencless homosexual to play Davis.

The role of Davis will be most challanging. To make the musical as real as possible you will have to be raped (for real) by three boy hungry boys, though only two will enter you. Prelube your anus before every show and you will be fine.

Come on guys... what you think?
Well there'll be enough blokes on here that have a Ron Hills tracksuit in the wardrobe who can play the P.E. instructor.

I don't think 5A can play the big coon as when Carling asks "where's ya tool?" he'll bite the cunts face off.


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Wasn't this concept already explored on that dogshit Little Britain program?

I'm pretty sure it was one of the Pete Waterman sketches.

To the accompaniment of a 1980s Casio keyboard:

''Where's your fucking tool.''
Chorus: ''What fucking tool?''
''This fucking tool!''


Gallery Guru
As long as you start on PDD, I say crack on fella and start immediately. Don't be gentle mind, I wanna see gobs of blood falling from his punished botty as he screams like a girl... As well as he can scream with a ball gag in place :-D
Nah I want the crying fairy in the greenhouse.

Latest Threads

New Posts