Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by bitterandtwisted, Dec 31, 2005.

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  1. I would like to think myself as a nice bloke likes a good time, as doing the amicable thing being a bezzer mate, my mate wants me to go to his place and some posh club and have few with his nice posh bird, for new years. I am from the doldrums of society and I have been known to dirty bag of the preverbial carrots (rab c nesbit area, not literal) which makes me a very bad man (he is obviously going for commission), dont get me wrong i wouldnt pump his missus and never do any others.. as i have read the value and standards of the british army .. which at times is total arrse, as there so many nobs who quote it and then break it in the then next sense, sldr and offr alike. I think at at times what the fcuk did i join up for.. anyway I am waffling as i have had few shandies... going back to to my situation i would calls myself a roots soldier, how do you get that fine balance still being up to being a bezzer and but leaving myself with my roots????? I just feel that I will be complete cnut on the sauce :twisted: , espically when i get through the first few shandies .. although i just like to lash it up, I think ill spoil the moment when i know his missues has fit posh mates, by telling them they are all rich, arrogant captalistic bastards, lets talk about me -- yah yah, and i will just be dancing around naked and lashing in the plantpots, or finding the nearest gucci handbag and laying a cable in fecker.any advice?? This has been edited since as I was minging when I wrote this after staggering in from el pub - drunken englund is nicht goode!
  2. Haven't got a fcuking clue what you just said, too mcuh vodka

    my answer is shag all the fit posh birdds but not the one thats your bezzers missus
  3. Makes a first.

    Ignore them - do lots of career laughs.
  4. Speak Like you are now. they will assume you are from saudi arabia or some other foreign land and try and fcuk money out of you
  5. Neither had I, was w@nkered when I wrote it.. as the saying goes sober mans secret is a drunken mans speech.
  6. Steal what you can.
  7. Yeah, tip up, get wankered, fill the toilet cisterns with washing up liquid, fill yer pockets, chuck a posh one over your shoulder and scarper........................
  8. I was thinking more like wallets, handbags, purses, that sort of thing.
  9. Yeah, but might as well get a more 'lasting' momento, right?
  10. Apparantly....posh birds like it up the bum!

    So I heard.
  11. Having seen your drinking skills first-hand, I would say don't worry too much - you'll be comatose after about an hour and two pints; long before you get the chance to make a complete arrse out of yourself.
  12. CNUT!
  13. Now I, as many people, often come up with an erudite, witty response that would stop an argument dead in it's tracks.

    Five minute after the said argument has finished. :D

    But after NINE MONTHS of thinking about it, you come up with CNUT? :roll:


    (I can expect a response about July 2007?) :D
  14. Well better to have replied now than not and all and I know this guy ..very well, trust me he is a cnut, i work with the fooker and i am sure that he would say the same about me! So i thought i would just express my sincere gratitude to aforesaid person.
  15. Fair enough... :D