Scruffy Barstewards

I am scruffy. Not intentionally, mind you (I try my best) but I'm just one of those people who always looks (to quote numerous NCOs/ instructors/ family members/ supervisors) like a sack of tits.

This was reinforced when I was sorting out a photo album the other day. There's me in my TA days wearing combat gear. I look a right state, despite everything being clean, pressed (etc). I wasn't spacky, you know like the bloke in training who puts his boots on the wrong way round and tucks his trousers into them and tick-tocks around the square. Well, not often.

Then there was the blissfully brief period of time I spent in uniform in the police. FFS I looked a mess. Again, I was trying my best but for some reason uniforms just don't suit me, possibly because I'm a big old lump. Thank fcuk I wasn't in the regulars, with the profusion of different dress like Barrack Dress, or No.2's or whatever. Phew.

I think I look my best in my shorts (khaki, la-di-da Gunner Graham), T-shirt, Merrells and sunglasses. Luckily, I can now and then get away with it at work. In a suit we are heading straight back into sack of tits time again.

So, I've put my hands up to it. Who was the scruffiest fcuker you served with and why? Who is the scruffiest unit in the army? NAME NAMES. Or are you a dashing fcuker who would look the mutt's nuts in a binbag?

V!

 

I am the same, press all my uniform to high heaven, the moment i put it on i look like a sack of potatoes tied in the middle with a bit of string, luckily it's great to work in civvies.

 

Not that sybills were very often required to wear uniforms - and we got our civvies paid for by the Firm - but we had one guy who never got it right. He had clean kit - the dhobi contractor lived in our compound. He was average size and build so the QM issue fitted him out of the box. Problem was that everything was just slightly wrong. Shorts just a bit too low slung. Puttees not quite tight enough. Chin strap quarter inch too loose. Bush jacket one too many items in one pocket. Looking at him made you think you were seeing him through a pair of smeary glasses. Even his moustache was a bit off - too fuzzy. Always a little bouquet of hair stood on end. Name wouldn't help as it was of the Smith Jones type and he would be long dead. Doubtless a little bit of his shroud was hanging out of the coffin. Not truly scruffy - just badly assembled.