Scruffiest Person Award


Book Reviewer
Talking the other day the conversation turned to dress standards within the services.

I have a very clear memory of an SPSO at Arborfield, in 1989, who was probably the scruffiest person who has ever walked. Uniform that had never seen an iron, brown brogues with lightweights, hair nearly halfway down his back and unshaven.

So who is the scruffiest individual you have seen? Apart from me that is.
I win.


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
An Hon Colonel (a belted Earl no less) who attended a Dinning Out Night dressed in:

Dress shirt with frayed collar;
Greasy Bowtie;
Crumpled Dinner Jacket frayed sleeves etc;
Greasy cummerband folded over and disapearing into belly;
Unpolished dress shoes and
Trousers Lightweight because he had forgotten his dress trousers
Sek Kong Camp, summer of 1974, Troop Muster Parade.

There we were, dressed in boots, socks rolled over boot tops, blue PT shorts and berets, sweating buckets after marching 150m from block to square due to temp & humidity at 06.00.

We were bollocked for being scruffy by our TC.

He was an apparition, dressed in suede boots covered in oily stains, whipcord "slacks", baggy, wrinkled, unironed shirt with rolled-up sleeves (not folded) and a scruffy stable belt and his chip bag sidecap pulled down so as to be resting just above the bridge of his nose and his hair curling gracefully over his ears.

His Pa was a Major General... a Very Senior Gunner!
A Pvt in my unit who was regularly described as "being stuffed" into his uniform. This dude shows up for dress blue inspections with white socks on and chewing tobacco in his mouth. He might as well have gone to the CO's office and peed in the corner.

Another time he stumbles into work reeking of beer and cigarettes, unshaven and uncombed, and then has the balls to ask for the day off so he could go shag some girl he met at the local 'house of sin.'

This is the same guy who (believe it or not) managed to load a whole magazine with bullets facing the wrong way.
This pratt:

WTF has he come as? The locals will be pi55ing themselves laughing at him!
call_me_jack said:
EX STAB, I too did a search on google images for "scruffy soldier" but I wasn't too sure if he should be going in the ally thread.

I did think about it but he just doesn't look ally to me. He looks a complete tw4t.




I'm not sure, depends on too many unknown factors, if he had took his shirt off to use as a torniquet then the pic is ally (he could have used the bandana though.

He looks like he may be checking out his reflection which means trying to hard which means not ally.
Actually, it was me that searched for him, EX-STAB moved it to this thread before I could. It was the beard and grenade that made me think ally, but he does look a scruffy cunt!

Praetorian said:
Actually, it was me that searched for him, EX-STAB moved it to this thread before I could. It was the beard and grenade that made me think ally, but he does look a scruffy cunt!


I put him here myself I'll have you know! :wink:
Hmmm, I post a piccy on "ally", you say it should be in scruffy, it appears here after.

But you posted it first. :p

Stop plaigerising my good work! :p :p :wink:
nope i'm pretty sure its me, ask the_guru.


I had to attend the local police station yesterday afternoon to give a statement. The constable who took my statement had three days growth, half his dinner down the front of his jumper, fingerprints on his glasses & the epaullettes on his jumper were curling back onto themselves. I dread to think what his sidearm was like.

He later confided in me that he only got into the PSNI after Strathclyde Police turned him down. :roll:
a mate of mine in Ripon looked the spitting image of Hermann Goering when stuffed into his No 2's excepting that he had a big oil stain on the breast of his jacket!!

one of my QM's used to wear barracks dress (trousers I surrender)un-ironed with no 2 shirt un-ironed with rolled up sleeves, he used to wander into the Office, wave everybody back into their chairs when we stood up as the hofficer entered the office, perch his arrse on the nearest desk and proceed to Roll a ciggie, one of the best Major's I have ever met
Vintage scruffiness, but always with a hint of style:



On occasion, though, he could certainly be well ally:


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