Scrotal confusion

#1
Sometimes my scrotum is tight and my balls are like scotch eggs in a vacuum packed freezer bag, other times my scrotum is loose and my balls are like boiled eggs in a velvet pouch.

what gives? It has nothing to do with temperature.
 
#2
Being as how you posted this in the NAAFI and not in the medical sticky, be prepared for loads of piss-takes. It's to do with how comfortable you feel with your sexuality, so for expert advice go to Jarrod.
 
#4
The Temptations did a song about that. "Ball of Confusion (That's What the World Is Today)" 1970.
 
#5
How very retro, I was expecting 'Great balls of fire' by Jerry Lee Lewis.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#6
Sometimes my scrotum is tight and my balls are like scotch eggs in a vacuum packed freezer bag, other times my scrotum is loose and my balls are like boiled eggs in a velvet pouch.

what gives? It has nothing to do with temperature.
Cut the cunting things off and make a kebab.
 
#7
Wow! Cracking idea, with cheese?
 
#10
It can also be affected by the amount of adrenalin coursing around... though Dr. Jarrod's is probably the best. However, your bollocks rise when you're about to splurt your love-porridge so I guess you were having a wank.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#12
It can also be affected by the amount of adrenalin coursing around... though Dr. Jarrod's is probably the best. However, your bollocks rise when you're about to splurt your love-porridge so I guess you were having a wank.
If you can press on the tubes in just the right place you can prevent the man juices coming out but it feels like it has. It's useful for moments when you don't want stuff in your mouth or when you've nothing to mop up with. Takes practice though.
 
#13
So where's the confusion? Are confused in general? Or just confused about your testicles? Have you been to a trick cyclist lately? If so were you diagnosed with PTSD? (Post Testicular Swelling Disease).
 
#14
If you can press on the tubes in just the right place you can prevent the man juices coming out but it feels like it has. It's useful for moments when you don't want stuff in your mouth or when you've nothing to mop up with. Takes practice though.

I learned that technique from a Tantra manual. Very handy for solo play when the mood takes you and you have no toilet paper/sock/dirty T-shirt lying around
 
#15
So where's the confusion? Are confused in general? Or just confused about your testicles? Have you been to a trick cyclist lately? If so were you diagnosed with PTSD? (Post Testicular Swelling Disease).
i just wondered how they can be so different at different times. When my scrotum is shrivelled I can push a bollock into my stomach.
lI saw a martial arts guy who lets himself get kicked in the balls because he can just command his balls that way so I started wondering and putting 2 and 2 together.

perhaps I'd be better off finding a more productive use of my Sunday morning.
 
#16
Check out Sumo wrestlers, they do that.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#17
I have done some research for you. It appears you have a rare form of cancer and have a week to live.
 
#18
So take 2 paracetamols every 4hours (no more than 8 in 24 hours) and if its no better tomorrow come and see me.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
be gratefull they can still bob up and down like that they must be really tiny otherwise nowt unusual.

it probably is temperature related either a cold reflex or being boiled alive under a laptop, try deep heat spray to relieve the symptoms.
 

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