OK, a seriously sad request. Has anyone got a recording of Screw Guns sung to the Eton Boating Song that they could let me have a copy of? I have a copy sung to another tune, and it just isn't the same.
That's the only recorded version I could find, but I did discover some alternate lyrics from the Royal Canadian Artillery:
Sitting on top of a mountain
Playing with my diddle-doo,
Jerking off into my trousers
'Cause I've got fuck-all else to do;
Life as a Herbie* is thrilling
Whether at peace or at war,
And if God and the BC* are willing
I'll find out what my penis is for.
'Cause we're all fucking screwed up
Screwed up as we can be;
Life in the fucking Artillery
Is not what it's cracked up to be.
So if you're in need of employment,
And the money and pension's for you,
Stay out of the fucking Artillery,
Or you'll wear out your poor diddle-doo.