Scientists discover new element

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by paratus, Sep 22, 2008.

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  1. Scientists discover new element

    The new element has been named: "Governmentium (Gv)"

    Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Governmentium is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

    When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (Am) - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. This decays into a permanent stable element called: Bureaucratium. It can never be destroyed.
     
  2. (NOWAH)
    Surely its AM would be 624 (protons as well as neutrons)
     
  3. No because the only Proanything of any sort anywhere near to Governmentium is either immediately swallowed up and negated or is actually made up of morons and is only a quasipro in the first place.
     
  4. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I think that's a bit out of date. With the latest technology, I believe that the element Bureaucratium can indeed be broken apart. It takes a considerable amount of energy to achieve this in a collider called a 'Revolutioniser', which fires lead particles down a long tube at enormous velocities to effectively remove the Morons from the Bureaucratium. Theoretically, this machine can also break down Governmentium particles too, albeit, it is a fairly ubiquitous element and will reappear shortly thereafter.
     
  5. i have the image of members of parliament being spin round the LHC at near the speed of light, then colliding. I wonder if that would really create a black hole.
     
  6. As the LHC seems to be broken at the moment.Could we perhaps see if any of the Gubment could out run some 7.62mm,5.56mm and 9mm? And thus create some black and red holes in them.
     
  7. i think that they could PFI some harry black to fix it...As i am sure that "Governmentium (Gv)"TM Is a valuable element that we need more not less of 8O
     
  8. But the trouble is, in the presence of Governmentium, Harry Black costs £3,000 per roll and can only be created through complex reaction pathways known as 'indents'
     
  9. you forgot the all-important consultantium.....
     
  10. No, it would create an Arse hole.