I've just had to go through my "Box of Tricks" to find some photos of me and the real Dale's mum getting sloshed, and of him as a child so we can make him look stupid. I found a couple of things. I don't know where to start. There is a photocopy of a letter from Liverpool Institute High School for Girls, Blackburne House, Liverpool L8 7PF. You all know my real name anyway, so for the purpose of the exercise, my name is Dale. I shit you not with the spelling and stuff. Then I shall move on to the school report. Autumn Term Term 1990: Dale has been satisfactory. Mrs Leglu also said: Ooooh, when do I gain my confidence? Just goes to show you. What they see of you in the early years might be absolute trump. It's what you make of yourself with their guidance that helps. I need a piss.