Scenario Paintballing. An acceptable past time?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ravers, Mar 29, 2010.

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  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    One of my best mates from school has recently got involved in scenario paintballing. He invited me along to a day yesterday, so I decided to go along and see what the crack was, before I passed judgement and ripped the piss out of him mercilessly for being a Walt.

    Now I've been paintballing before on your standard corporate team building and stag do packages, but I had no idea what to expect with this scenario business. Assuming it would be pretty similar, I rocked up in my oldest, shittiest DPM, expecting to have a few half hour sessions of shooting people, surrounded by huts made of forklift pallets, followed by a shitty burger afterwards while everyone regales each other with hero stories from the day.

    Nothing could've prepared me for what I encountered as I drove into the site. There in front of me was a queue about 200 metres long, made up of around 150 people. Many were dressed like me, in old shitty DPM, but there were others with purpose built suits, made from digicam, with padding in all the vital areas, there were lads in groups dressed the same with unit patches. I even noticed a pair of lads dressed in very expensive looking multicam complete with what looked like Osprey body armour. One lad in particular stood out, he was dressed in standard 95 pattern DPM with issue boots and webbing, he also had an RAF police rank slide on.

    As we stepped forward for the briefing I realised that many of the participants seemed to be kids, some as young as 13 or 14, many more of the participants were the sort of 40 year olds you expect to be playing Warhammer and collecting comics, others just seemed like normal lads up for a laugh. There were even a few chicks in amongst the group.

    Next came the weaponry. I expected to use the standard paintball guns that you get at your stag do events, again I was very wrong. There were guys with guns that looked like M16s, MP5s, AKs, the lot. One guy had even used bits of an airsoft M60 and black and nasty to build a paintball M60, it looked very convincing but I couldn't help wonder if it's looks over function would impede him when the fighting started. I noticed one lad in a gilly suit showing off his sniper rifle, complete with rifled paintballs for greater range and accuracy.

    My oppo had arranged for me to borrow a Gucci, space age looking thing made from shiny anodised metal. He explained that all the guns that looked like M16s etc were actually a pain in the arse as they were heavier and bulkier than the standard guns. I had a quick test fire of mine and realised straight away that it was lacking a safety catch, in fact none of the guns I saw had them. This became quite worrying later in the day when a fat comic book collector insisted on using his gun to point at people while explaining things and I realised very few of these participants had any sense of pointing the things in a safe direction, not to mention the constant sound of NDs going off, followed by a scream and 'oops sorry mate'. Anyway my gun was pretty cool, very accurate out to around 100 metres and with the function to go full auto if required. I started to get excited about the prospect of dealing pain onto the RAF copper with it.

    After a basic safety briefing and a quick run down of what the day was to entail, they split us into two teams, around 75 a piece, I was annoyed to see the snowdrop was on my side. We set off to our bases, passing a fibua village, Wessex helicopter and various other props along the way. It was only now that I got some realisation as to how big this place actually was. It took a good 5 minutes to get to our base, by my reasoning it should take at least 10 minutes to get to the enemy base.

    What followed was 6 hours of pure carnage. My mate and I tagged along with a few lads who looked fairly sound and I attempted to explain some basic patrolling and fire and manoeuvre tactics to them. We had our first contact around half an hour later and everyone scattered. I realised quickly that I wasn't going to be able to rely on these guys to understand the concept of covering fire or assaulting the enemy position, so my oppo and I broke off to try and capture the enemy flag alone. After spending around 10 minutes lost in thick woods, we came to their village, which amazingly, was empty and undefended. We simply walked up, grabbed the flag and fcuked off gaining ourselves some points in the process.

    The rest of the day falls into a blur of running around the woods shooting people and being shot myself and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it, despite the serious amounts bruises and cuts I have acquired. I even managed to get a sneaky shot at the RAF copper.

    So my good and bad points of scenario paintballing are as follows:

    Bad points -
    It hurts like fcuk when you get shot.
    You have to spend the day with some serious mongs, who should not be near anything capable of firing a projectile, let alone a paint sniper rifle that can fire at over 400 fps.
    It is seriously pricey, a half decent gun will cost you around 400 quid.

    Good points -
    It seems a worthwhile activity for the kids who take part, a bit of team building and phyz for them.
    It is a great workout, physically, I am fcuked after a whole day of running about.
    It was seriously good fun. Once you get over the fact that it is just a laugh and not an infantry skills course, you get really into it, the satisfaction of covering someone in paint while they writhe around in pain is awesome.
    Despite the mongs, there were a few really good blokes who were simply there for a laugh.
    You get to shoot RAF coppers, even if they are on your team.

    To conclude, I will not be spending a load of cash to take up this interesting hobby, but if the offer arises to borrow some kit again, I will definitely take it up. A few of the participants could be classified as Walts by many people on this site's reckoning, but personally I can see through that shite and realise that it is just a load of people meeting up to take part in an activity which they enjoy. I can wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone, the details of the next event are on this site and the event is called Diamond Wars:
  2. Interesting post but do I read a hidden agenda here ? Are you asking when does scenario paintballing become walting it ?

    Most people here probably don't consider airsofters walts . They're often fat , inadequate virgins whose idea of great sex is sticking the muzzle of their expensive replica BB gun in to their rectum , but they're not walts because even Stevie Wonder can see they're not proper squaddies

    Airsofters only become intolerable when they go down to a sand quarry and pretend to be a special forces team fighting for their lives against mad mullah talibs , or when they reanact the battle of Wireless Ridge which features a couple of fat middle aged Argie conscripts bravely fighting off an attack of anorexic middle aged paras wearing green berets

    Are these paintballers re-enacting any famous battles that any arrsers took part in for real ?
  3. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Never done it myself, though I did have one in the shop the other day which was for testing prior to buying off a customer. I charged it up, bombed it up, pointed at the wall above a staff member's head and pulled the trigger, and then a red mist descended across my vision.

    When I came back to my senses about 30 seconds later, the paintball gat was empty and there was a green mist floating down onto the shocked, appalled and abused staffy, and everything for 5ft in all directions was coated with a sticky green layer of liquid.

    That's a big thumbs up from me, especially as I've seen quite a few customers come in the shop sporting deep purple welts on their arms, legs and torsos, like they've been severely beaten with high velocity golf balls . . . . . all saying just how much fun they had.
  4. I think there is need of a reality check here,it aint real,its a game, children play games, like the prats who think computer shoot-um-ups are like the real thing, FFS
  5. Ravers, where do you get the time between plotting to bump the neighbour off and running around like a headless chicken.

    I have done the paintballing lark once and agree with you I was totally knackered by the end of it (I put it down to being an old git) but had a great day out and thoroughly enjoyed hitting your mates and "enemy" alike.

    What is more fun is having a day out with quad bikes and honda thingies with cages
  6. Whats wrong with playing games? I don't play computer games and I've been paintballing twice at stag weekends but I don't see any reason to get excited about people who are into it. You seem to be taking things a bit too seriously :D

    As to paintball, th couple of times I've been I found it highly entertaining.
  7. I have a friend in the states who used to run an airsoft magazine on this sort of thing & received all the kit free of charge & then got paid to go out & test it. He even had some RM gear with a mock up sa80 & green beret. 8O

    All his photographs of the events did look very exhilarating though. Most of the spams that took part were ex forces so they knew how to do section attacks/bounding overwatch & give proper covering fire rather than run around randomly shooting people, which must have made it a more enjoyable experience.

    I've wanted to try airsoft for a while but the only venues I've found in London are indoor ones, I think external sites would give more room for manoeuvre. I've tried paintballing before & it was good but you had to get quite close to hit your opponents which meant that tactics were pretty pointless & the whole thing was chaotic. BB/airsoft on the other hand is apparently a lot more physically demanding due to the higher rate of fire & better accuracy of the guns & is therefore the better choice for those wanting something remotely realistic.

  8. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    No hidden agenda, I'm just interested to hear the opinions of other Arrsers on this subject. I know a few people in the past have voiced strong ideas about this sort of thing.

    Personally I couldn't give a fcuk about all this 'Walting' crap. Yes it is sad when cnuts like Day turn up on Remembrance parades but really, is it worth getting outraged about? I don't for one minute consider paintballing to be Walting, no matter how far you take it.

    All in all, good clean fun in my opinion.
  9. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    The guns we used yesterday were not your standard stag do jobbies. They were capable of firing 25 paintballs a second at over 400fps. I was scoring hits at 100 metres plus. Other lads who had the rifled paintballs were getting hits at considerably further distances.
  10. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Go on, you know you want to!



  11. The place I shoot clays, also has a paintball setup. The last time I went here were about fifty Middle East types milling about, passing the time by showing how hard they were (by getting their mates to chuck rocks the size of tennis balls at them whilst they stood still and said how little it hurt, is that as hard as you can throw a stone you hermer etc). They had a whale of a time playing paintball, but as far as I can tell both sides were playing the part of the Taliban.

    Seems an odd way to pass the time to me.
  12. I gave up playing British and Germans when I got my first paire of long trousers, its a bunch of grown men playing a childs game with toy guns, I dont get it,If you want to shoot buy a gun, not a toy,deac,or softair, there not guns there toys
  13. Could I bring my Browning?

  14. I had an argument with a young lady about whether airsoft was walting or not & I agree with Ravers up to a point, if you turn up in brand new multicam with a sandy beret with a winged dagger badge then you’re probably pushing it a bit though... It’s probably more tasteful to go in some old DPM & a balaclava, which isn’t dissimilar to my dating kit.