(scars advice) my teenage self was an arrse!

#1
1123dave said:
Right, so this is embarrassing, but I’ve got some self-inflicted scars from when I was a kid (quite a few years ago, I’m now 23.) Nothing major – a few small burns on my torso. I wasn’t depressed or suicidal or anything hectic like that, it was just some idiotic crap I had going about wanting to prove to myself that I could take the pain, and at the time I thought they looked cool, and bla bla bla.

Yes yes yes. Naturally, I now realise the incredible stupidity of this, and when thinking about it, I alternate between wanting to bury my head in the sand and thoroughly wishing I could give my younger self a good kick ***********.

Anyway, like the original author of this thread, I’m also now considering joining the army, and am somewhat concerned about these old scars being an issue. Should I be worried? Would this be a good time to make up that story about how I was once kidnapped and tortured by a chain gang? Should I try the tattoo thing?
Advice would be much appreciated.
Similar situation. When I was a little brat in school (eight years ago), I was in the habit of proving to my mates "how hard I was" ( 8O :x :roll: ) by scratching lines into the top surface of my forearm (not the underside cos I was never suicidal or anything like that) with my good old compass.

Now I wasn't doing out of any kind of depression or self loathing or crying for help or any of that lot, or any reason other than to freak out/show off to my mates to be honest. Now before you all jump on my back, I'd like to point out that I was Fourteen at the time - I'm 22 now - and I'd be the first to admit what a bloody stupid attention whoring thing it must seem - If I met my younger self I'd give serious thought to kicking his arrse (then I'd forget about it because I have no criminal record)...

Anyway, I've got to get through all my medical forms, and as said on the site, it makes references to "self harm", which technically, this is, but not your "typical" self harm type sorta thing. The only evidence that this happened is a couple, maybe 4 or 5 barely visible lines down the top side of my forearm.

To be frank, gentlemen, I'm shitting myself. I am extremely concerned that the actions of a stupid kid, eight years ago, attention whoring it up to his mates, will prevent me from getting the carreer that I want and have been working for for such a long time. I am extremely committed to getting into the Army, and becoming a British Soldier, and I can't think of anything I'd be more proud to become. The last thing I want is for the actions of a stupid teenager nearly a decade ago, to seal my fate as a permenant civilian for the rest of my life.

Any advice, reassurance - and yes I suppose to be fair - ribbing, you lot have for me would be appreciated. I'm extremely worried, and I have a load of medical forms here - I don't know what to put in the boxes for "self harm", and I don't know where to go from here :oops: :oops:

Squiddly. Smurf to be.
I hope :cry: :cry: .
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#2
Don't mention them.

You say they are barely visible, it won't make a difference unless you let it.

Yes you were a c0ck, but so what! How many of us can say that we didn't fcuk at some point in our teens. I certainly did.

Put it behind you, forget and move on.

Good Luck

B&T
 
#3
There was a girl when I was at Abingdon whose arms were scarred from top to bottom- fresh and old wounds.
She regularly self harmed in the time I knew her and was given counselling and the permission to always be in longsleeved order.
Her problem dated back from her time in civvi street and her arms were in such a state that she couldn't have denied her condition.
She (obviously) joined up with no drama's and this was actual self harm not just being a teenage tit.
I don't think you'll have any problems. (although this was in 1998 - but I imagine that "they'd" have been less forgiving then - the Armys quite touchy feely now.)
 
#4
Agreed with B_and_T,

it was 8 years ago or more, you were a teenager, even if you were depressed and did it, depression and teenaged is like being a squaddie and introverted (ok maybe not)

They will see it for what they are, if they do see them, they will be blatetly obvious that theyre not fresh wounds, if they ask , be honest, but don't go out of your way to draw un needed attention to them,

good luck

SB
 
#5
But what to put on the form? Technically it IS self harm, and I sure as bloody hell don't want to lie on the medical form!

If anyone asks why they'd not been declared I'd get rumbled round an entire forest of knowledge before prolly being shoved in colchester for a bit and discharged UFM (or whatever it is) :( .

On the other hand, they're hardly relevant, they barely qualify, and I'd REALLY rather not make things more difficult than they have to be, if I don't have to. :(

(PS, thankyou, all advice is appreciated, keep it coming :) )
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#6
The box says "Any incidents of self harm" Insert nil!

If there is a box saying " Any incidents of being a knob in your teens" Fill your boots explain away!

It was not self harm in the true sense of terminology.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm

In my younger days I used to relish sticking hundred of needles into various parts of my body. It was part of the tattoo process.

You would not be lying.
 
#7
Easy Tiger!

Steady on mate - it was just some stuff you did for a dare when you was a nipper.

Relax - you will have more to worry about than a few scratches on your arm.


Stop tying yourself into knots over this - and good luck for the future.
 
#8
I left school a year ago to join the army with the scars from the compass etc still fresh but it hasn't stop me getting in. But I no it might cause some problems if you want ot apply for special forces and special duties etc.
 
#9
re0790 said:
I left school a year ago to join the army with the scars from the compass etc still fresh but it hasn't stop me getting in. But I no it might cause some problems if you want ot apply for special forces and special duties etc.
Lads,

chill out , relax enjoy basic, enjoy phase 2 , and enjoy being a young squaddie, ffs don't worry about things like going SF , it might never happen. Squiddly , just take your time and stop worrying , at this rate you will give yourself an ulcer to match your scars ... no fun at your age!
 
#10
scaleybint said:
re0790 said:
I left school a year ago to join the army with the scars from the compass etc still fresh but it hasn't stop me getting in. But I no it might cause some problems if you want ot apply for special forces and special duties etc.
Lads,

chill out , relax enjoy basic, enjoy phase 2 , and enjoy being a young squaddie, ffs don't worry about things like going SF , it might never happen. Squiddly , just take your time and stop worrying , at this rate you will give yourself an ulcer to match your scars ... no fun at your age!
Good point. Not even 17 yet and I'm going on like some fcuking mong.
 
#11
re0790 said:
I left school a year ago to join the army with the scars from the compass etc still fresh but it hasn't stop me getting in. But I no it might cause some problems if you want ot apply for special forces and special duties etc.
Was any mention made of it? If so, what did you say?
Or did they just not even notice? :?

Again, thanks all for advice - I feel a lot better and a lot more positive :D .
 
#12
On a purely pragmatic note, scars will fade much more quickly if you regularly abrade them with something like a loofah (in the bath/shower), and slap on some Palmers Cocoa Butter. Ignore the comments like "moisturisers are for poofs" this stuff works, and as an added bonus, women will eat you alive. :D
 
#13
There was a guy on selection with scars down his forarm, he just told the doctor it was his cat that did it.

I'm not saying lie, i mean his scars where quite small and fine, i used to have a mate who enjoyed burning/slashing/poking himself and had some huge scars all up his arms.
 
#14
I just explained that it was a long time ago, ( 7+ years ), and that it was probability about attention seeking looking back it. Had done nothing like it recently. It was fine, however that was the TA medical.

Best of luck
 
#15
Detracting slightly as you didn't self harm for depression reasons, more that you were being a teenage twit,

Now if you self harm, for whatever reason they will find your reasons and probably just put you thru counselling. (This is more for those doing it now and reading or Cpls and Sgts of lads and lasses who you suspect are doing it)

Most self harmers aren't suicidal maniacs, and they self harm during bouts of depression as physical pain is often easier to deal with than intense emotional pain.

If you do self harm whilst in the job , you WILL lose your weapons rights for a set time period until you have been properly assessed and cleared by the CPN or the Shrink as being safe again.

It wont effect your career unless you cannot get it under control, and continue to do so where it effects your work, your ability to do your job and you find yourself constantly slicing and dicing whatever part of your body you choose to do .I know some girls with slash marks on their inner thigh so as to hide it, where most do the wrists out of pure ease of access .

I will put my hand on my heart here and open up honestly, I have in the past (not to distant) self harmed as I was going thru an extremely difficult time in my life, losing my partner of 12 years and a lot of other things going on compounded issues, I ended up self harming for well over a year, hiding it for the first 6 months, just superficial cuts, but it happens. Its not attention seeking, its a genuine problem and as long as you seek help , they will go out of their way to get you better.

If you are self harming read the following link , it may help you understand why you do it, and of course give you coping stratagies, methods of how to deal when you feel like doing it ....

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm

Best wishes

SB
 
#16
self harm during bouts of depression as physical pain is often easier to deal with than intense emotional pain.
Agree, but in an entry medical, id still say it was attention seeking looking back it. Its what medical officer wants to hear. I.e. it was a long time ago and you've grown up since then.
 
#17
Renski said:
Agree, but in an entry medical, id still say it was attention seeking looking back it. Its what medical officer wants to hear. I.e. it was a long time ago and you've grown up since then.
Glad to hear that.
I always figured that the medical was a case of people wanting to find a reason to turn you away, rather than wanting to help you get in 8O .

But then I would look at it like that, as I want to get in 8) .

I'm just worried cos that other lad was deferred/refused for smoething similar I think? :?
 
#18
If your worried about being caught lying then just find a situation that could cause similar scars and say that is what did it.. I got caught in barbed wire plenty of times as a kid and that left some scratches.. say it was that.. or say you had a manic pet cat.. itll be fine.. big worry over a little issue IMO.

J.
 
#19
By the end of the day if your GP believes there are any problems he will by law have to enter this onto your RG8. Its all in medical confidence between you/GP/SMO so if any concerns are flagged up or it is recorded on your medical records because you needed treatment it will be added on the form. See how it goes and if you are medically deferred because of it you can always appeal against the decision with expert advice.
 
#20
sandmanfez said:
...slap on some Palmers Cocoa Butter. Ignore the comments like "moisturisers are for poofs" this stuff works, and as an added bonus, women will eat you alive. :D
Try chocolate as well. I hear they love that stuff too.
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top