Scaring the shite out of the feeble minded.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by MonGsruS, Sep 30, 2012.

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  1. Years ago working as security for a well known national holiday company. There were three blokes who did the night shift cleaning and clearing the ballroom after the entertainment and evrbody getting pissed. Two of the guys, Alex and Ray did it for the accomadation, food and beer money, Joe however was a local boy and half a step away from being the village idiot.The building they worked in was all glass fronted with a wooden dance floor. Being the middle of summer obviously at night with the building cooling down you could sit in the restaurant at night and hear it creaking and groaning. Every time there was a noise you could see Joes head going and following the noise. One night he asked the fatal question, " Whats all that noise from upstairs ", " Dont worry " says me, " the grim reaper stops off up there when he's having a quiet night " ( bad bastard )" really " says Joe. My cuntish mind starts working overtime.Joe had never seen the entertainers show. This used to kick off with them coming on stage in a monks outfit with the hood up and a white face mask obscuring everything.Joe was on his own upstairs one night on his own for a while. In the meantime I had got my mitts on one of the outfits and a mask and given it to Ray who made his way to the stage. When I knew Ray had got into position I switched the lights off leaving one on Joe and one on the stage, at this Joe turned round to see an apparition on stage pointing at him and in a low mournfoul tone saying JOOOOOOOOOOOOE, poor bastard did an on the spot pogo dance with his broom, ran screaming from the ballroom, crashed through the fire escape, fell arse over tit down the stairs and ran screaming up the road. We never saw the poor fucker again.......wonder why ?
  2. Are you on crack?
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Thank God for that. I thought this was going to be yet another "Good CO has lost the plot. Let us make loud noises outside his window and push him over the edge" thread. Thankfully it is just some mong trying to hire security guards.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. I used to had a lickle kitten an I would friten dat putty tat by hidin behind a dor and going boo at it.
  5. I think it was more afraid of your typing.
  6. If I met a couple o these creatures as I crawled on hand and knees back from the Corporals Mess.... I would certainly have shatten in ma pants... and spent the rest of the night in one of these....

    (Hmm, I don't think that I have gotten passed the anal stage as reported in Freudian psychology...... I need more Meds...)

    Attached Files:

  7. Whats the Hourly rate? Where is it? Will there be tramps to abuse?
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Security Industry Forums fecked you off as well have they?
  9. Beemer 007, look at the name, I'm sure even a feeble minded fuck wit like you can figure it out, tosser.
  10. That's not very nice is it?
  11. That is literary genius, thank you so much, that has really brightened up my Monday morning.

    It s time to make the garden winter-hard, remember to drain any pond pumps, get the terracotta under cover and a feeding table is a nice gesture for the birds. Cover any frail plants with hessian.
    • Like Like x 2
  12. Oh thanks Al that's reminded me - any thoughts on what I should do with my lovely Bougainvillea ?
  13. Well it made me laugh :D
  14. It scares me that muppets like the OP have access to the Interweb.
  15. So you are in the MGS and you have the audacity to call someone else feeble minded!

    You are living up to your user name, carry on.