Scared about retirement

Stumpy4154

LE
Book Reviewer
Chaps.
I or rather the Stumpette, need your sage advice, knowledge and wisdom
The Stumpette is of the age where she can take early retirement but, after working full time for more or less 40 years, she is terrified of leaving work and doing things that she wants to do for herself. She intends to get a small part time job somewhere so she has "some purpose" but she doesn't know what else to do with her time.
She is rather a shy, introvert type unless she knows people (and she has a couple of voddies inside her) and is hesitant at joining groups; she wants to but is scared of making the first step.
Any advice for the good lady?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
As she's loneley, perhaps she should down a couple of voddies and fire up Chatroulette

As it says itself

Chatroulette allows you to have video conversations with random people worldwide.
What could possibly go wrong?
 
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Has she any hobbies to dive into such as gardening?
 
How about you get her to make a list of all the things she would like to do or go and see, then get her to start doing what is on the list.
 

philc

LE
Volunteer work, charity shop, hospital, hospice that sort of thing.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
This is a tricky one. What work does she do?

Presumably she must have known this was coming for some time - does she have many hobbies/interests which are affordable?

Working part-time I can understand, although she may get clobbered for tax if drawing a pension at the same time. Personally, I intend to carry on doing the job I love until I drop (although music teaching is a little different to most jobs).*

If she doesn't feel ready to give up work completely, there's usually something part time (even if it's only voluntary work) which could give her a sense of "purpose". She'll probably find in a few years that she's got so much other interesting stuff to do that she won't have time to work!

*Is she interested in music? There's lots of activities, paid or voluntary, or just as a hobby :D

Most of all, do reassure her that retirement is the beginning of a new chapter, not an end.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
PS. Is she really "shy and introverted"? Or merely bored off her tits by people with no common interests?
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Here's food for thought...

A lot of people worry about what they're going to do to fill their days when they hang up their boots. I'm in one of those "second career" type jobs whereby most of our employees are 12-24 year veterans who are a mix of 43-65 years old. Have already seen a number of our lot gracefully bow out of working for a living and they too have raised the question. Worried about how their wives will cope having them home 24/7 etc...

But when you watch these programmes "On Benefits & Proud" and such like, there's always a huge family all at home, playing games consoles and smoking huge quantities of cigarettes.

Now I'm not saying your wife should aspire to become a chain-smoking gamer. But what I am saying is if Mr & Mrs Ameoba-brains can keep themselves occupied by doing f**k all every day, I'm sure it won't prove much of a challenge to your cheese & kisses.

I'm bailing out at 55. Spend my alternate weeks travelling to countries I've never seen. When I get bored of that, or the travel insurance starts to cost more than the flights, I'll buy an RV and smash in some trips around the UK and Europe, break out the skis in winter, break out the barbie in the summer.

F**k hobbies. They take commitment and get boring if you make them your full time occupation.

Add to that if you're 60 and expect to live until say, 84 - that's 8 years gone already by sleeping. 16 years ain't a lot - do you really want to spend that in some twice-weekly knitting circle, listening to what ailment Mavis is dying of this week, swapping dits about getting bunions shaved? Sod that...

Food. Drink. Travel.
 
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Chaps.
I or rather the Stumpette, need your sage advice, knowledge and wisdom
The Stumpette is of the age where she can take early retirement but, after working full time for more or less 40 years, she is terrified of leaving work and doing things that she wants to do for herself. She intends to get a small part time job somewhere so she has "some purpose" but she doesn't know what else to do with her time.
She is rather a shy, introvert type unless she knows people (and she has a couple of voddies inside her) and is hesitant at joining groups; she wants to but is scared of making the first step.
Any advice for the good lady?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
How is she at laying a patio? I could use her before Easter
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
Here's food for thought...

A lot of people worry about what they're going to do to fill their days when they hang up their boots. I'm in one of those "second career" type jobs whereby most of our employees are 12-24 year veterans who are a mix of 43-65 years old. Have already seen a number of our lot gracefully bow out of working for a living and they too have raised the question. Worried about how their wives will cope having them home 24/7 etc...

But when you watch these programmes "On Benefits & Proud" and such like, there's always a huge family all at home, playing games consoles and smoking huge quantities of cigarettes.

Now I'm not saying your wife should aspire to become a chain-smoking gamer. But what I am saying is if Mr & Mrs Ameoba-brains can keep themselves occupied by doing **** all every day, I'm sure it won't prove much of a challenge to your cheese & kisses.

I'm bailing out at 55. Spend my alternate weeks travelling to countries I've never seen. When I get bored of that, or the travel insurance starts to cost more than the flights, I'll buy an RV and smash in some trips around the UK and Europe, break out the skis on winter, break out the barbie in the summer.

**** hobbies. They take commitment and get boring if you make them your full time occupation.

Add to that if you're 60 and expect to live until say, 84 - that's 8 years gone already by sleeping. 16 years ain't a lot - do you really want to spend that in some twice-weekly knitting circle, listening to what ailment Mavis is dying of this week, swapping dits about getting bunions shaved? **** that...

Food. Drink. Travel.

Sounds good, but you have to be of that mindset. What happens when you have a couple of slack days, and start climbing the walls because you don't know what to do, and start thinking "why did I spunk all that money on food/drink/travel?"
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Sounds good, but you have to be of that mindset. What happens when you have a couple of slack days, and start climbing the walls because you don't know what to do, and start thinking "why did I spunk all that money on food/drink/travel?"
Take on a wealthy lover and give @Stumpy4154 a bit of a break in the bedroom at the same time...?
 
Local college any free courses?
Yup. I dread the day my Mrs retires as she has zero hobby's and, believe it or not, for a HR professional she hate's dribbly, limp, people so would not do well in social type groups.

She get's invited to give guest lectures at uni's and has previously mentioned doing a PhD. So I will try and shuffle her off in that direction.

@Stumpy4154 get her off to college or a uni. When I was doing my thing at uni we had a couple of retiree's who were keeping their brains and themselves active by starting on degree's with the ultimate aim of continuing to a PhD.
 
Chaps.
I or rather the Stumpette, need your sage advice, knowledge and wisdom
The Stumpette is of the age where she can take early retirement but, after working full time for more or less 40 years, she is terrified of leaving work and doing things that she wants to do for herself. She intends to get a small part time job somewhere so she has "some purpose" but she doesn't know what else to do with her time.
She is rather a shy, introvert type unless she knows people (and she has a couple of voddies inside her) and is hesitant at joining groups; she wants to but is scared of making the first step.
Any advice for the good lady?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
A few lines of charlie could really boost her confidence. She might be able to sell a few wraps which will sort her part time job out as well.
 
Don't do anything too soon, she'll find a million ways to fill your day.

My wife was glad to get out towards the end...... job satisfaction had gone in the Civil Service.

She's never been happier, just pottering.

Take advantage of cheap last minute offers....... we've had some wonderful holidays in Italy
 
I'd advise not to rush into any commitment to hobbies, or volunteering once retired. Once she's been out of the job for a couple of weeks, it's been like being on leave, and then not going back. Things will evolve.

The only cautionary note I'd throw in would be to make sure her CV is up to date ASAP and not to hang around too much in making applications if she goes in to P/T work - some employers don't like big unemployed gaps.

Good luck and enjoy the freedom!
 
Get her to join a swingers club, that will soon make her lose her 'shyness' and the added benefit is that she will not need to look for a part time job as she'll be sleeping most of the day, and if she's not up for that - I've got a new ceiling to tape/plaster and I could be doing with a hand putting in my new kitchen.
 

anglo

LE
Chaps.
I or rather the Stumpette, need your sage advice, knowledge and wisdom
The Stumpette is of the age where she can take early retirement but, after working full time for more or less 40 years, she is terrified of leaving work and doing things that she wants to do for herself. She intends to get a small part time job somewhere so she has "some purpose" but she doesn't know what else to do with her time.
She is rather a shy, introvert type unless she knows people (and she has a couple of voddies inside her) and is hesitant at joining groups; she wants to but is scared of making the first step.
Any advice for the good lady?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
"The Stumpette is of the age where she can take early retirement" But does she want to retire
I'll tell you what I tell anybody about to retire, retirement is in the mind,
You can stop work but that is not retirement, when you start to think "I can do better things with
my time than going out to work, you are on your way to retirement.
Things like, I've enough money to do the things I want to do, IE
DIY the house, make the garden good, places I want to see,
Photography, sit and paint some pictures
I've been retired a long time, best thing I ever did, how I had time to work I don't know
 
We were talking about this recently. It's amazing how pensioners can be really busy not doing much:

Get up at a reasonable hour, have a leisurely breakfast, clean up. Have a nice sit down with a cup of tea and a hob nob.

Bang! It's lunchtime! Make something for lunch. Clean up. Have a sit down while you decide what to have for dinner. Have another cup of tea. Go to the shops. Wander round the aisles for ages bumping into other pensioners and gossiping.

Go home. Make dinner. Clean up. Have a sit down with a cup of tea and watch TV. Fall asleep after half an hour. Wake up at 11 and go to bed.

Repeat as required.
 
Fear of the unknown. Afraid of not being wanted / needed. Being bored.

Everyone I know who has retired always says that they wonder how they had time to work.

That said, when my dad retired, he didn't have any real hobbies and just sort of drifted for 18 months or so. Once he had redecorated, done some basic DIY and got their smallish garden into shape he didn't know what to do.

On the other hand, my mate Andy spends a lot of time as a school governor, looking after grandkids 3 days a week and doing some other bits of charity work, oh, and playing cricket at weekends.

If the stumpette is bored then local Womens' Institute, as others have said, volunteering, our village also has a local walking group. Then what about any hobbies? Someone else I know took up painting aged 60 and now travels all over the place with a box of paints and an easel.

I would suggest that the biggest barrier is fear of the unknown.
 

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