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Scam phone calls

My company has a call centre - relax now, no unsolicited outgoing calls. I was recently “pitched” by a company selling a robot for call centre use and I was absolutely amazed at how realistic it had become. It responded really well with supplementary questions when the dialogue got tricky and was really good. That is the future I’m afraid.
 
My company has a call centre - relax now, no unsolicited outgoing calls. I was recently “pitched” by a company selling a robot for call centre use and I was absolutely amazed at how realistic it had become. It responded really well with supplementary questions when the dialogue got tricky and was really good. That is the future I’m afraid.


I tried ringing HMRC a while ago, and they've got this crap installed...... after 20 minutes, I got fed up, and told the android where to go.
 
Or answer "Thank you for calling the NCA. Please stay on the line while we trace your call location, so the house entry team can smash your front door in".
 
Or answer "Thank you for calling the NCA. Please stay on the line while we trace your call location, so the house entry team can smash your front door in".

Or

Or answer "Thank you for calling the ARRSE Polis. Please stay on the line while we trace your call location, so the house entry team can smash your rear door in"
 
Such call are a scourge in the US too. Lately a lot will display a number with a local area code and the next three an exchange used for cell phone plus 4 digits for a usually unassigned number. Last week I got 5 calls in one day for "Credit Card Servicing - because of your excellent payment record you are entitled to a new card with no interest....". I also get a lot of calls allegedly from National Grid wanting to reduce my electric bill.
One time I called back to a scam number and it was answered by some elderly man with an Italian accent who was being driven nuts by callbacks from people who saw his caller ID on their phone.

Being retired I sometimes have time on my hands and when I get a call from the Microsoft office in India telling me a virus has been detected on my windows computer. I tell them I don't have Windows and they tell me all computers have Microsoft software on them. I explain that my MacBook Pro runs OS X version 10.14.3 which is not Microsoft, I have a Mac tower that now boots from Red Hat Linux Version 6 and the only Microsoft software on my computers is an old IBM AT which runs on Xenix which came out before Windows had been invented. (Actually I only have a MacBook Pro with OS X Mojave) It drives the the Indian caller nuts. I figure that the more of his time I waste the less time he has to get people a bit more gullible to give him access to their computer.
 
The most annoying part is that they assume we are 'Gullible'.

I am the same with spam emails. I often get emails from 'Apple ID' that are so so bad. I am often tempted to email back to tell them how stupid they are due to bad grammar etc. But then they might learn from it and make it harder for next time.
 
Not had one for a while, but today I did.

<phone rings>

"Good morning my name is Edward, I'm calling from Microsoft about your computer"

"No you're not, now **** off"

<line goes dead>
 
Sometimes I do pick up when I spot the local number is fake. I answer in a really old somewhat deaf chap voice.
Income Tax.
Heroooooo, whooooooo is it. Jack nooooooo he's not in, are you his new boyfriend?
Fake Diabetes Charity
Heroooooo, nooooooo I don't know a Diane Beatties is Diane coming over?
Duct Cleaning
Heroooooo, Ducks noooooo I don't have any ducks, I have a cat but noooo ducks.

I usually keep going until they hang up, or if they keep trying I end it with "F Off yo dumb sh!t !!

It makes the wife laugh if nothing else.
As I was reading your post the phone rang and the wife answered it . Heard her say " Oh! your going to cut off our internet connection are you ? Thats nice give us a ring back when you've done so " and she hung up :D
 
One from several years ago but still makes me chuckle .....
PHONE : Ring ring
ME : Hello
PHONE : Hello Sir my name is David ( Gupta ) and I am here today to help you install your brand new Sky TV package .
ME : TV is the work of the Devil.
PHONE : Pardon ?
ME : TV is the work of the Devil and you are going to spend all of eternity impaled on Satan's very own spiky penis .
PHONE : "Click"
ME : Hello , hello .
 
Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft. Is that Mr. Tartan?

No, this is Ranjit Patel (in my best Indian accent)

Silence......

This is really Mr. Tartan isn't it?

No this is Ranjit.

Etc. etc. for a few minutes until they give up.
 
Today I had a nice call from a number that 3 have put an alert on so the phone warns me.
With that warning in my mind I obviously had to answer and see what I could do to amuse myself. I never know what I'm going to say or do when I'm in this kind of mood so the results even surprise me.

it turns out that today I'm a gay sex line service and these calls are a bargain at £9.99 per minute, would sir like to talk with 'Big Gay Al? he's super today and then there is 'Old J' if you want the more experienced man.

I didn't get to find out his preferences at he suddenly hung up
 
I heard my computer savvy son taking a call from the 'Microsoft' people a while back. He tied them in knots for about 20 minutes and then got tired of the game. He then made a very persausive and colourful argument, suggesting that they should all be exterminated and those that survived should kill themselves. A couple of minutes later the phone rang and it was the 'Microsft' manager demanding an apology. I know a lot more swear words than my son!
 
Today I had a nice call from a number that 3 have put an alert on so the phone warns me.
With that warning in my mind I obviously had to answer and see what I could do to amuse myself. I never know what I'm going to say or do when I'm in this kind of mood so the results even surprise me.

it turns out that today I'm a gay sex line service and these calls are a bargain at £9.99 per minute, would sir like to talk with 'Big Gay Al? he's super today and then there is 'Old J' if you want the more experienced man.

I didn't get to find out his preferences at he suddenly hung up
I had a call from "BT" (O1254 896587), to help me improve my broadband speed. After we established that I wasn't playing along with their script, the call took a curious turn, as the girl on the other end started asking me, in low husky tones, about the sort of porn I watched, my masturbation habits, and my sex life. I quickly hung up, after only fifteen minutes or so.
 
I had a call from "BT" (O1254 896587), to help me improve my broadband speed. After we established that I wasn't playing along with their script, the call took a curious turn, as the girl on the other end started asking me, in low husky tones, about the sort of porn I watched, my masturbation habits, and my sex life. I quickly hung up, after only fifteen minutes or so.

How come that number is always engaged?

Err, so I'm told
 
I had a call from "BT" (O1254 896587), to help me improve my broadband speed. After we established that I wasn't playing along with their script, the call took a curious turn, as the girl on the other end started asking me, in low husky tones, about the sort of porn I watched, my masturbation habits, and my sex life. I quickly hung up, after only fifteen minutes or so.


"How are you ?

Our files say that you were involved in a thrap that wasn't your fault ?"
 

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