Scam phone calls

Today I had a nice call from a number that 3 have put an alert on so the phone warns me.
With that warning in my mind I obviously had to answer and see what I could do to amuse myself. I never know what I'm going to say or do when I'm in this kind of mood so the results even surprise me.

it turns out that today I'm a gay sex line service and these calls are a bargain at £9.99 per minute, would sir like to talk with 'Big Gay Al? he's super today and then there is 'Old J' if you want the more experienced man.

I didn't get to find out his preferences at he suddenly hung up
 

Carbon 6

Old-Salt
I heard my computer savvy son taking a call from the 'Microsoft' people a while back. He tied them in knots for about 20 minutes and then got tired of the game. He then made a very persausive and colourful argument, suggesting that they should all be exterminated and those that survived should kill themselves. A couple of minutes later the phone rang and it was the 'Microsft' manager demanding an apology. I know a lot more swear words than my son!
 
Today I had a nice call from a number that 3 have put an alert on so the phone warns me.
With that warning in my mind I obviously had to answer and see what I could do to amuse myself. I never know what I'm going to say or do when I'm in this kind of mood so the results even surprise me.

it turns out that today I'm a gay sex line service and these calls are a bargain at £9.99 per minute, would sir like to talk with 'Big Gay Al? he's super today and then there is 'Old J' if you want the more experienced man.

I didn't get to find out his preferences at he suddenly hung up
I had a call from "BT" (O1254 896587), to help me improve my broadband speed. After we established that I wasn't playing along with their script, the call took a curious turn, as the girl on the other end started asking me, in low husky tones, about the sort of porn I watched, my masturbation habits, and my sex life. I quickly hung up, after only fifteen minutes or so.
 
I had a call from "BT" (O1254 896587), to help me improve my broadband speed. After we established that I wasn't playing along with their script, the call took a curious turn, as the girl on the other end started asking me, in low husky tones, about the sort of porn I watched, my masturbation habits, and my sex life. I quickly hung up, after only fifteen minutes or so.
How come that number is always engaged?

Err, so I'm told
 
I had a call from "BT" (O1254 896587), to help me improve my broadband speed. After we established that I wasn't playing along with their script, the call took a curious turn, as the girl on the other end started asking me, in low husky tones, about the sort of porn I watched, my masturbation habits, and my sex life. I quickly hung up, after only fifteen minutes or so.

"How are you ?

Our files say that you were involved in a thrap that wasn't your fault ?"
 
New variation scam;
 
If you do pick up, just stay silent. A real caller will say hello, a machine or call centre will delay before it notices, giving you a chance to hang up. Otherwise, if it's a recording / Indian, just leave the phone off the hook. It'll tie up one of their lines for a while, so meanwhile they aren't calling someone else. Or try an old fashioned answering machine that asks them to leave a message, while you listen. Friends soon get used to saying "It's me, pick up the phone you lazy cont."
Excellent advice - tried and proven methods and you get the satisfaction of wasting their time/money. When doing this do employ the "mute" function to ensure that all the caller hears is silence (and not your doris in the background asking you if you've emptied the rubbish pail yet....).
 
I managed to convince an Indian caller from "Microsoft" that I was Nigel Farage* the other day.

I described how his little scam was going to be made illegal in the UK when I was prime minister and the SAS would be sent to "eliminate" him.

Strangely he hung up on me!

I sound nothing like Nigel
 

morsk

LE
Had one the other day from a number from the town my parents live in. Asked them which part of that town they were calling from. Guy said "we are not actually based there" so I told him to stop lying about their location with the code then and fcuk off. Told me to stop swearing at him. 'kin idiot. I told him "if you dont like it, dont phone me you cnut". I find if you answer but dont say anything until they do, the callbot just hangs up. I alsways ask them right off the bat what they are trying to sell me, that way when the talk inevitably comes round to me parting with money to them, I can tell them to "eff off you lying tw@ts, you said you wernt selling anything". I know its not necessarily the fault of the person on the other end, but they chose to do it, its notr like they were press ganged.....
 
<< phone rings >>

Me: "Hello"
Useless Scammer: "Hello, this is Jasmine calling from BT about your internet connection"
Me: "OK"
US: << slow almost unintelligible diatribe about internet speeds >>
Me: "Is this your job?"

<< phone hangs up >>

So that'll be someone who is fully aware they are a criminal.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
had a call this afternoon, took a while to pick up so I guessed call centre
some Indian bloke tells me he is ringing from Italy
he didnt sound Italian
starts telling me about wonderful Italian food, and asking what sort of cheeses and sauces I preferred
I went along with it for a while, however when I spoke Italian he didnt understand
then he told me he was going to send me a free bumper package of high quality organic Italian food
all I had to pay for was the postage
told him no way, I bring stuff back from Italy all the time, and we have an Italian Deli down the road
he got quite insistent, it seems that if you say yes to the deal they despatch it via a courier co and invoice you 70 sovs
if it does turn up it will get promptly returned to the courier company as unsolicited mail
oddly when I do a search online many people report problems with this company, and the fact they keep pestering elderly people , and yet between all the complaints there a few people praising the company
no doubt written by their sales team



 
I had one today and took the ARRSE approach..

Conversation went along the lines of , are you shaved, are you touching yourself, I bet you're moist, do you take it up the Arschloch...

She hung up.
 

moderator

Old-Salt
Funny thing happened today... my wife, phoned to book an appointment at her favourite hair and nails emporium today and quite clearly, something bad happened judging by the way she banged the phone down and got quite upset.

After she'd recovered her composure she said that the person answering the phone at the hair and nails place, unusually a man, asked her a series of shockingly lewd and personal questions... Are you shaved? Are you touching yourself? Are you moist and do you take it up the... she said it sounded foreign but sounded a bit like 'arsėhole'. At that point she hung up. Quite shocked she was and all.

I was straight down to their shop to biff the filthy bastard on the nose but when I got there, there were no men in the place and according to the nice lady on reception, there never was - only female staff ever worked there.

Strange eh? Can only think she dialled a wrong number but I don't suppose we'll ever know.
 
I got a call today, pretending to be from a plumbing trade magazine......

Must have bought or stolen my info......... as soon as the asian sounding character started asking for more personal details apart from what she already had, she was hung up on.
 
Funny thing happened today... my wife, phoned to book an appointment at her favourite hair and nails emporium today and quite clearly, something bad happened judging by the way she banged the phone down and got quite upset.

After she'd recovered her composure she said that the person answering the phone at the hair and nails place, unusually a man, asked her a series of shockingly lewd and personal questions... Are you shaved? Are you touching yourself? Are you moist and do you take it up the... she said it sounded foreign but sounded a bit like 'arsėhole'. At that point she hung up. Quite shocked she was and all.

I was straight down to their shop to biff the filthy bastard on the nose but when I got there, there were no men in the place and according to the nice lady on reception, there never was - only female staff ever worked there.

Strange eh? Can only think she dialled a wrong number but I don't suppose we'll ever know.
Your Mrs sounds awfully posh on the phone.
Is it true that posh girls are filthy little minxes?
Asking for a friend of course.:)
 
I got a wierd call today as well. Some woman asking me strange questions about nails and hair, so I decided to turn the tables on her and asked her if she wanted to be shaved, if she needed moisturising, and if she had ever been taken up the hair-salon. She obviously had a filthy mind, as she slammed the phone down on me.
 

chimera

LE
Moderator
The other day I was just about to call my insurers about a car accident that I had been in that wasn't my fault when I was interupted by a sodding scam call.
 

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