Scam phone calls

I had one in work on my mobile this morning.
Claimed to be from my banks anti fraud team, usual spiel about unusual spending activity.
I strung him along a bit and said that due to the lockdown my spending habits had changed, but just to be sure I asked him..

"Has the £250 for Scaley Albereto's plus size dominatrix sex dungeon gone through"

A bit of spluttering on the other end, I continued.
"I like a larger lady, especially with a big fat Arrse"

He made some kind of excuse and hung up.

I got Arrse and an Arrser in against a spam caller.

Result!
Your next mission, should you choose to accept it, it to introduce 'cordwangles', 'spazolicons', and 'lolligagging' into the call.
 
Your next mission, should you choose to accept it, it to introduce 'cordwangles', 'spazolicons', and 'lolligagging' into the call.
I want to get a lady or an obviously Gay man on the line and get "Cumguzzling Wankspangle" into the conversation.

Or ask the lady does she like having a face like a plasterers radio.
 

endure

GCM
I want to get a lady or an obviously Gay man on the line and get "Cumguzzling Wankspangle" into the conversation.

Or ask the lady does she like having a face like a plasterers radio.
I should be careful with that. The gay man might think it's an invite...
 
I'd had a gutsfull of the cnuts today...

"We understand that you have recently had a car accident, is that correct?"
"Why yes, I have!"
"When was the accident?"
"Ooo, about two years ago."
"Where was the accident?"
"London Bridge."
"Do you believe it to have been the other person's fault?"
"Yes, the infidels should have accepted Allah into their lives."
<pause> "And what vehicle were you driving, Sir?"
"A white Ford Transit, or as I like to call it, 'Allah's Hammer of the Righteous'."
"And what was the nature of the accident, Sir?"
"I drove over a dozen infidels."

It only went downhill from there...
 

anglo

LE
Today, I'm rich I'm rich :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::numberone:

Mr. Greg Osborn <congreso@lasmargaritas.com.ar>
Wed 22/07/2020 20:21
Dear Friend,

I have written to you severally without a response,It is with trust and sincerity that I approach you for assistance to transfer some funds into your bank account. Please do accept my apology if my mail infringes on your personal ethics. My name is Greg Osborn , a Private attorney based here in Johannesburg, Republic of South Africa.
I would like you to act as the next of kin to my deceased client Mr. Glenn Warrington, a US citizen who made a deposit of $23,500,000.00 with a Bank here in Johannesburg. He died in car accident on the 20th of November 2009 without any registered next of kin. Several efforts were made to find his extended family through their embassy without success.
I have received official letter from the bank suggesting a likely proceeding for confiscation of the Fund in line with existing laws by the bank in which my client deposited the sum of $23.5 Million Dollars. According to the Government Law here, at the expiration of 11 years the fund will revert to the ownership of the South African Government, if nobody applies to claim the fund.
My proposition to you is to present you to the bank as the Next of kin to my late client so that the bank will pay this $23.5 Million Dollars to you as his beneficiary so that we can share the amount on a mutually agreed percentage of 60% for me 40% for you.
All legal documents to back up your claim will be provided by me. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I will also guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law here or in your country.
If you are interested in this transactions, Please do contact me so that I can give you comprehensive details on how to proceed.
Your immediate response will be highly appreciated.
Regards
Advocate Greg Osborn
Principal Attorney: Greg & Co Associates
Direct Telephone: +27661761901
 
Today, I'm rich I'm rich :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::numberone:

Mr. Greg Osborn <congreso@lasmargaritas.com.ar>
Wed 22/07/2020 20:21
Dear Friend,

I have written to you severally without a response,It is with trust and sincerity that I approach you for assistance to transfer some funds into your bank account. Please do accept my apology if my mail infringes on your personal ethics. My name is Greg Osborn , a Private attorney based here in Johannesburg, Republic of South Africa.
I would like you to act as the next of kin to my deceased client Mr. Glenn Warrington, a US citizen who made a deposit of $23,500,000.00 with a Bank here in Johannesburg. He died in car accident on the 20th of November 2009 without any registered next of kin. Several efforts were made to find his extended family through their embassy without success.
I have received official letter from the bank suggesting a likely proceeding for confiscation of the Fund in line with existing laws by the bank in which my client deposited the sum of $23.5 Million Dollars. According to the Government Law here, at the expiration of 11 years the fund will revert to the ownership of the South African Government, if nobody applies to claim the fund.
My proposition to you is to present you to the bank as the Next of kin to my late client so that the bank will pay this $23.5 Million Dollars to you as his beneficiary so that we can share the amount on a mutually agreed percentage of 60% for me 40% for you.
All legal documents to back up your claim will be provided by me. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I will also guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law here or in your country.
If you are interested in this transactions, Please do contact me so that I can give you comprehensive details on how to proceed.
Your immediate response will be highly appreciated.
Regards
Advocate Greg Osborn
Principal Attorney: Greg & Co Associates
Direct Telephone: +27661761901
About that tenner you owe me?
 

Londo

LE
Today, I'm rich I'm rich :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::numberone:

Mr. Greg Osborn <congreso@lasmargaritas.com.ar>
Wed 22/07/2020 20:21
Dear Friend,

I have written to you severally without a response,It is with trust and sincerity that I approach you for assistance to transfer some funds into your bank account. Please do accept my apology if my mail infringes on your personal ethics. My name is Greg Osborn , a Private attorney based here in Johannesburg, Republic of South Africa.
I would like you to act as the next of kin to my deceased client Mr. Glenn Warrington, a US citizen who made a deposit of $23,500,000.00 with a Bank here in Johannesburg. He died in car accident on the 20th of November 2009 without any registered next of kin. Several efforts were made to find his extended family through their embassy without success.
I have received official letter from the bank suggesting a likely proceeding for confiscation of the Fund in line with existing laws by the bank in which my client deposited the sum of $23.5 Million Dollars. According to the Government Law here, at the expiration of 11 years the fund will revert to the ownership of the South African Government, if nobody applies to claim the fund.
My proposition to you is to present you to the bank as the Next of kin to my late client so that the bank will pay this $23.5 Million Dollars to you as his beneficiary so that we can share the amount on a mutually agreed percentage of 60% for me 40% for you.
All legal documents to back up your claim will be provided by me. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I will also guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law here or in your country.
If you are interested in this transactions, Please do contact me so that I can give you comprehensive details on how to proceed.
Your immediate response will be highly appreciated.
Regards
Advocate Greg Osborn
Principal Attorney: Greg & Co Associates
Direct Telephone: +27661761901
He's gen.
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
Today, I'm rich I'm rich :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::numberone:

Mr. Greg Osborn <congreso@lasmargaritas.com.ar>
Wed 22/07/2020 20:21
Dear Friend,

I have written to you severally without a response,It is with trust and sincerity that I approach you for assistance to transfer some funds into your bank account. Please do accept my apology if my mail infringes on your personal ethics. My name is Greg Osborn , a Private attorney based here in Johannesburg, Republic of South Africa.
I would like you to act as the next of kin to my deceased client Mr. Glenn Warrington, a US citizen who made a deposit of $23,500,000.00 with a Bank here in Johannesburg. He died in car accident on the 20th of November 2009 without any registered next of kin. Several efforts were made to find his extended family through their embassy without success.
I have received official letter from the bank suggesting a likely proceeding for confiscation of the Fund in line with existing laws by the bank in which my client deposited the sum of $23.5 Million Dollars. According to the Government Law here, at the expiration of 11 years the fund will revert to the ownership of the South African Government, if nobody applies to claim the fund.
My proposition to you is to present you to the bank as the Next of kin to my late client so that the bank will pay this $23.5 Million Dollars to you as his beneficiary so that we can share the amount on a mutually agreed percentage of 60% for me 40% for you.
All legal documents to back up your claim will be provided by me. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I will also guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law here or in your country.
If you are interested in this transactions, Please do contact me so that I can give you comprehensive details on how to proceed.
Your immediate response will be highly appreciated.
Regards
Advocate Greg Osborn
Principal Attorney: Greg & Co Associates
Direct Telephone: +27661761901
That was some phone call.

Do you have an eidetic memory?
 

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