Saw this , thought of youse....

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by Goatman, May 30, 2012.

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  1. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    From REALBUZZ.COM - don't shoot the messenger ;-)


    Irritating female habits that annoy men
    Women complain about us a lot. Whether we’re caught adjusting our bits or we’re making a mess, one thing we seem to be good at is doing things wrong. As much as we love them though, they annoy us too. Get ready for an uncensored whinge about women:

    Annoying female habit 1: Making an anniversary out of everything
    What is it with women turning the nice little things in life into a grand gift-exchanging, champagne-popping ceremony? We return home from a normal day at work to be met with a candle-lit dinner and an expensive looking gift but, quite frankly, it makes our heart stop. Have you done something wrong? Is it your birthday? My birthday? Oh silly me, it’s the anniversary of the first time we looked at each other. Please refrain from doing this, ladies. We have a hard enough time getting event dates right without being shouted at for not buying the dog a card to celebrate the anniversary of his first vaccination.

    Annoying female habit 2: Piling the bed with cushions

    One would be mistaken for thinking that a bed is for sleeping in. We go to get our head down for the night, only to find the bed piled sky-high with strategically placed cushions that leave no room for us. What’s more, only a couple of these cushions actually have a purpose. We don’t need the tiny heart-shaped one or the big fluffy one that makes us sneeze – just a normal pillow to rest our head on will suffice. We don’t adorn the bed with DIY tools and model cars, so please tame your OCD (Obsessive Cushion Disorder) and stop making an elaborate display out of our bed so we can get down to the important stuff.

    Annoying female habit 3: Asking us what we’re thinking
    It’s a classic example of how women like to test us, and possibly trick us into making the cardinal sin of admitting that we weren’t thinking about her at that particular moment. One minute we’re enjoying a cuddle, the next they’re hurling that question at us when we’re least expecting it. They say it so fast that we don’t have chance to make up a false reply or even to think straight, which leads us to stutter and then be accused of thinking of our ex. Asking what we’re thinking is basically a nice way of saying ‘you aren’t allowed to have private thoughts, unless they’re about me’.

    Annoying female habit 4: Saying ‘I’m fine’, when you’re not happy
    So she stood in front of the television while the football was on, we got a bit iffy and snapped, and now all sorts of issues have been bought up. Then she says it – that passive-aggressive statement that marks the start of the dreaded silent treatment: “I’m fine”. Erm, are you really fine because you’ve just screamed at us until you’ve gone red in the face, and now you’re laying face down on the bed crying. If you’re unhappy just outline the problem and then we can sort it out and carry on as normal. Or – even better – don’t outline the problem and let us watch the football in peace.

    Annoying female habit 5: Using sex as a weapon
    One of the most annoying things that a woman can do is deny her man of sexual privileges. Some women seem to take great pleasure in using our weakness to their own advantage through the classic ‘if you don’t do this, we’re not having sex’ scenario. If you’re going to stop us from doing one thing, please don’t let it be sex. We don’t stop you from eating and drinking, so please don’t mess with our basic human needs either

    Annoying female habit 6: Being over-emotional
    You cry at funerals, you cry at weddings, you cry at happy films, you cry at sad films. This makes us feel awkward because we just don’t know what to say or do when you’re sat sobbing all over our freshly ironed shirt. Where do all these tears come from? We think women should just have an annual crying day where they get together and cry for twenty four hours, before coming home and being normal for the other 364 days of the year. It would solve a lot of our problems.

    Annoying female habit 7: Incessant talking
    We’ve heard that women are estimated to say around 20, 000 words a day – which is an awful lot compared to the paltry 7, 000 estimated for men – so we understand that she needs to get her daily nattering fix, but why is it always at the most inappropriate times? She was quiet all the way through the family dinner when we needed her to break the awkward silence, but as soon as we start getting to the competitive part of a multi-player game with our friends, she just won’t shut up about how cute the neighbour’s cat looks when it sits next to the rose bush. To make it even more annoying, the actual part of the story she was getting at whilst rambling on about the neighbour’s cat, was that the cat’s owner now works at the grocery store down the road. Ladies, if you’re going to talk, pick the right moment and please, just get to the point.
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  2. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Annoyinf female habit 8: Breathing.
    • Like Like x 3
  3. 9: Sometimes they don't cry when I have sex with them.
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  4. That's because they're dead.
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  5. Let them see your face then!
  6. All good reasons to promote homosexuality and beer.
  7. I don't do 5 out of those 7 items, doesn't seem to have done me much good though!
  8. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    No.....the UK plastics industry is razor-edge but they still haven't come up with a Dolly RealTearsTM that PA can afford....
  9. The two you admit to being?

  10. Just clearing a few things up.
    Annoying female habit 1: Making an anniversary out of everything.....never done it...once a year is once a year too much !

    Annoying female habit 2: Piling the bed with cushions...only two pillows on my need to make it look like a shop display its for sleeping in.

    Annoying female habit 3: Asking us what we’re thinking..Dont care what your thinking as long as you say the right thing

    Annoying female habit 4: Saying ‘I’m fine’, when you’re not happy..if im not happy i wont hide it...if your a **** ill tell ya :thumright:

    Annoying female habit 5: Using sex as a weapon..Its a weapon.never done that its too much fun

    Annoying female habit 6: Being over-emotional...slightly emotional..I cry at death as it means ive lost someone i care about....
    Annoying female habit 7: Incessant talking.....clearly they have made the wrong choices in life....or blokes just like to have something to moan about ???

    Men have only two emotions.......hungry or horny..if you aint eating you must have a hard on....!

    Im just saying .. :)
  11. 4. Saying "I'm fine" when I'm not, because you men really aren't interested anyway and if you did listen to what I was upset about it would probably end up in another argument! Life's too short!
    5. Using sex as a weapon. I'd say more as a bribe than a weapon.

    I suppose to some extent 6 as well.

    The talking thing annoys the **** out of me, and it's not just women. There seem to be people who cannot stand to have more than 5 seconds of silence without having to launch into a tirade of inane chatter. I can quite happily sit in a room full of people and not say a word for over an hour. You can be sure I'm taking mental notes though... ;-)
  12. Chicks should be seen & not heard. They should understand that we have feelings too and emotional needs.

    That's why they must all consider breast implants.
  13. Blokes have emotions..!..hmm.. only when they spill their beer..........:thumright:..breast implants for every woman?..clearly your mad...I would fall over mind you my face would never hit the floor.....clearly it would be better for everyone if men had their cocks enlarged, would make females happier. you would have more to play with in your own time.... and we wouldnt have to ask is it in yet?
  14. Trans-sane

    Trans-sane LE Book Reviewer

    I can be a very emotional and passionate person I'll have you know. Admittedly most of that emotion happens to be seething anger and barely-contained rage. But I'm only at work 40 hours a week. Also never had any complaints about being hung like a chinese mouse. Being a bit of a ****? LOTS of complaints.
  15. If I had breast implants, I'd have to leopard crawl everywhere!